Untouchable
by Wishes2Dreams
Summary: Astrid wasn't always so cunning, manipulative, and dangerous. Brought up in a life of poverty and despair by her morally just mother, things had been bleak at best. Upon her mother's death, Astrid had grown truly desperate. Desperate enough to move in with a demented man who would change her life forever. Seems like the high road isn't always the most beneficial to take...
1. Chapter 1: Powerless

**A/N:** _Hello, hello! As I played through the Dark Brotherhood quest for the first time (I've played through it many more by now lol), I found myself both intrigued and fascinated by Astrid. She was calm, cool, collected, and cold-blooded. What little information she gives concerning her past leaves a lot to ponder about...and ponder I did! And so, this is my take on the events that led to her rise to power...Here's the first two chapters. I'll try to update every Saturday. Hope you guys like it and thanks to all who stop in to read!_

* * *

Chapter 1: Powerless

The bitter chill of winter rain fell from the uncaring, gray sky above as Astrid stood eyeing the fresh soil on her mother's grave. Its location lay on the outer edge of her mother's small property, its presence an ever-constant reminder of her absence. Thunder murmered from above, the cold wind stinging Astrid's face among the contrast of hot, unwanted tears.

Astrid sighed, brushing back her hair from her eyes and turning to the small, pitiful shack she and her mother had dwelled in together. At least, in moments past, she had some comfort in her mother's presence. Now, there was nothing but the eerie silence of being alone. She glanced at her mother's resting place one final time before heading inside from the unrelenting elements.

The old wooden door creaked open, with Astrid's lonely footsteps echoing off the rickety walls of her home. She entered her room, changing out of her dirt-laden work clothes and into a clean, but worn and tattered dress. She inhaled deeply, seeing the depressing pit of poverty that was her life. It didn't seem so bleak when she had another human being to share it with. Feeling numb, she left her room, wandering toward the small kitchen area. On the way, she glanced briefly into the shadowy bedroom that belonged to her mother. Empty and silent. Astrid quickly averted her eyes, walking briskly past the painful reminder of death within her home.

Lighting a small candle, Astrid seated herself at the table, well aware by the grumbling in her stomach that she should eat. Watching a small, black spider crawl across the old wood of the table with little interest, she felt entirely too numb and empty to actually act on the impulse. She was alone. Completely alone. Fighting it was useless. Feeling the flood of despair in her mind, she cradled her head in her hands, weeping uncontrollably.

* * *

Astrid knelt on the ground, digging up three potatoes to completely fill her large, now-heavy basket. She stood, knocking the dirt from her clothes as she clutched the basket, heading toward the quaint farmhouse in the distance.

"Ah, I see you're finished for the day," an elderly man stated as she approached him. Astrid and her mother had frequented his farm for years, tending to his garden and lending a helping hand for coin to get by on. His pay was meager, but it had been enough to buy food and what little clothing they could afford. He was a nice enough man, and he had very kind eyes. "How many have you got there?"

"Thirty-seven," she answered, handing over his basket.

"Very well, then. Just wait here. I'll be back with your gold." The old man disappeared inside his home briefly, coming out with a small coin purse. "Here you go, young lady," he smiled warmly, as Astrid forced a half-smile in return.

"Thank you..." she mumbled, now feeling uncomfortable from his kind demeanor and the hint of sympathy in his tone. She briefly nodded, turning to leave for her next location. It was a small cottage about a mile away, where she occasionally performed housekeeping for a very elderly Breton lady.

"Astrid..." the old man spoke softly, alerting her to whip around in surprise. "I'm so sorry to hear about Nona. Your mother was a good woman. I know it'll be harder for you with her gone. If you ever need extra work or coin, I'm sure I'll be able to find something else for you to do around here."

Astrid nodded briefly, averting her eyes from him uncomfortably as she followed the trail away from his farmhouse.

* * *

The cold silence of night filled the air as Astrid approached her home. Exhausted and filthy, Astrid unlocked the front door of her small shack, the tired door whining open. Kicking off her muddy boots outside, she entered, pulling out three small coin purses from her satchel and tossing them carelessly on the kitchen table.

She set her lantern beside her, counting gold coins in the dim light it emitted. It didn't amount to much, especially since many of her clients were poor and elderly and couldn't afford to pay her more than a handful of coin. She shrugged, feeling drained and apathetic to everything. Who cared anyway? She didn't even know why she bothered to obtain gold - she felt far too sick and disgusted with her life to eat, anyway.

Suddenly feeling far too exhausted to stand up, she quietly laid her head on the hard, cold wood of the table, her eyes closing as she succumbed to restless, tormented sleep.

...

Astrid gasped, jolting up from her sleep, her brow beaded with cold sweat and her heart racing in her chest. The nightmares since her mother's death were always the same. Astrid would always relive her mother's final moments - seeing her pitiful, frail state and hearing her dying cries.

Cupping her face in her hands, Astrid began to sob uncontrollably. This was her life now. She was nothing but an empty, hollow shell doomed to live alone in poverty forever. Love had been the only thing keeping her afloat in a sea of wrath, and now even that had been torn mercilessly from her grip.

* * *

A loud banging noise caused Astrid's eyes to shoot open, as she gasped, quickly standing in fear. Her eyes darted about the room, seeing the faint rays of sunlight filtering through the dusty air in the old cabin. She sighed, wiping last night's drool from her lip as she composed herself. She must've been dreaming again. Who in Oblivion would visit her, anyway? Barely anyone even knew her, save for the few that she performed hired labor for.

Her eyes grew wide again, hearing another loud knock on the door. "Hey! You in there, girl?!" a man's rough, abrasive voice boomed from the other side.

"What in Oblivion...?" Astrid mumbled to herself, slowly stepping toward the door. Hesitantly, she unlocked it, creaking it open just a fraction. A tall, lean, dark-haired Nord stood, hands on his hips, eyeing her curiously. He was covered in grime and sweat, as if he'd been working vigorously before approaching her doorstep. His green eyes narrowed under thin, furrowed black brows as they met with her own.

"You Astrid?" he asked bluntly, spitting nonchalantly on the ground as he wiped at the sweat trickling down his brow.

"...Yes...What is it?" Astrid asked him warily, keeping the door barely cracked.

"I guess Nona didn't tell you about me, huh? Doesn't surprise me..." he snorted. "You'd think she'd at least tell you something, considering what she was asking of me."

Astrid's brow furrowed. "Who are you?"

"The name's Reiner - Nona's brother," he stated, eyeing the inside of the old cabin through the crack in the door. "You two were living in this dump?! By Talos' manhood, this was worse than I thought! Nona was loonier than I took her for! She should've come back home after her daft prick of a husband ran off with that whore he'd been romping with." he mused, clearly not showing any sensitivity to the subject matter.

Astrid found herself growing quickly annoyed by his lack of tact or compassion. "So you're my uncle, then?" she asked skeptically. "Why are you here now, of all times? I've never seen you come around here before. My mother was bedfast for quite a while, and yet I've never seen your face the whole time." she spat, opening the door a bit farther.

"Your mother never informed me," he replied in a mocking tone. "I just recently got this bloody letter!" he snarled, pulling a crumpled piece of parchment from his pocket and holding it inches from Astrid's face.

She huffed, grabbing the parchment from his hands and reading it:

 _Brother,_

 _I never thought this time would come, for I never expected my life to turn out so poorly. I've grown ill in our long time apart, and I lay dying as I write this plea to you. I'd not turn to you with such a task, but you are all the family I have left, and I am desperate to keep my daughter alive, though I soon will not be. Winter has just begun, and my home is very poor - much worse than you remember from your brief visit when Astrid was just a baby. She's so young, and she deserves more in life than I have been able to give her. I know that if you're alive and well that you have inherited father's farm and his small fortune, so you will be able to give her a better life. She's been alive eighteen winters and is old enough to work and marry, and that is what I wish for her. Maybe you can find it in your heart to help her. All I ask is that you treat her with dignity and not allow her the same fate that befell me when we were close. I have nothing, and all I ask is for your mercy._

 _-Nona_

Astrid felt her mouth slightly gape open, meeting eyes with the strange man before her. "Why didn't you visit her more than once?" Astrid asked timidly, caught up in her emotions of pity after reading her mother's pleas.

Reiner sighed, rubbing the back of his head and averting his eyes. "She didn't want me to. We...didn't get along like I'd hoped." he answered cryptically.

Astrid sighed, fully opening the door. If this was what her mother had wanted for her, it certainly couldn't be worse than the life she currently lived. "Come in..." she told her uncle, defeatedly.

He followed her inside, seating himself across from her at the kitchen table, pulling out a silver flask of what Astrid believed to be some sort of alcholol. Taking a greedy swig, he wiped his lips, eyeing her. "You do look a lot like your mother. Spitting image of her, actually." He gave a crooked smirk.

Astrid sighed, looking away from him. The thought of leaving her mother in the cold, unforgiving ground alone made her soul ache. Of course, her life was a wreck, so she had little to bargain for. Reiner seemed mannerless and abrasive, but she needed him right now. "So...Where do you live?" she asked.

"On a big farmhouse a little ways north of Riften. It's a nice bit of land, really. Much warmer than this bloody place, with less of that blasted snow." he spoke, taking another drink.

"When do we leave, then?" she asked, taking in the smell of alchohol mixed with his musky sweat. She wasn't comfortable with asking the question, or with him, but she knew it was inevitable. She'd be living with him for a bit. Hopefully, she'd get on her feet soon and not have to be around him. Something about Reiner was a bit unnerving to her. What was so terrible about him that her mother wanted him to stay away? Why did she turn to him now, if he was so vile? Questions upon questions sprang out in Astrid's mind. Unfortunately, she held no answers.

"Well, if you get your things together this evening, we'll leave tonight. No use staying in a gods-forsaken place like this longer than we have to." he remarked. "That is, if you _have_ any belongings. Surely you have something better than those dirty old rags to wear, eh?"

Astrid scowled, scoffing. "These are my work clothes. I was exhausted and fell asleep in them last night, if you must know. Your clothes aren't much better..."

"Haha...Seems like I've hit a nerve, young Astrid. Very well, then. Just get your bloody things ready by this evening and I'll be back to get you. Winterhold isn't far from here. I'm going there for a bit. You know, to get a few drinks and such. Be ready when I come back." he instructed, causing Astrid to bristle at his demanding tone. The thought of this belligerent man telling her what to do was less than pleasant. Hopefully, she'd get used to him in time.


	2. Chapter 2: Defensive

Chapter 2: Defensive

Pale double moons hung high in the night sky, as Astrid shivered, watching her steamy breath rise to the heavens. She glanced at Reiner from the corner of her eye, noting how he quietly glared ahead as he held the reins from beside her. He whipped the reins a bit harder, causing the carriage ride to become much rougher as their speed increased.

Upon returning from Winterhold earlier, Reiner had beaten roughly on the door, alerting Astrid to grab her meager belongings and go. She remembered wincing when opening the door, smelling the strong scent of alcholol on his breath and seeing that his right eye had been mysteriously blackened.

"Let's go," he had demanded in a less-than-pleasant tone, as she had eyed him warily, grabbing her things. As she rode beside him on the carriage, he'd stayed strangely quiet the whole time, causing her to feel uneasy in his presence.

By first impressions alone, she didn't care for the man. He was callous, ill-mannered, and erratic. Gods only knew what living with him would be like. She folded her arms across her chest, suddenly feeling a shameful bout of anger toward her deceased mother. Perhaps if her mother hadn't been so weak and submissive all her life, Astrid wouldn't have to be in this position in the first place. What kind of a mother sought love from a crass womanizer like her father? He'd left when Astrid was very small - only a little child. Bastard - leaving them both to starve to death! She could remember the nights her mother had spent crying before her father ultimately abandoned them. She remembered how her mother pathetically begged him to stay with her, if only for Astrid's sake. Her father merely laughed, pushing her mother away and leaving to never return. Now, after the mess her mother's weakness had created, she had placed Astrid in a position to depend on a man who seemed just as repulsive as her father.

"What kind of work did you two do?" Reiner asked gruffly, abrupting Astrid's thoughts.

She slowly turned to him, seeing that his gaze was still straight ahead, as if his mind was out in the distance as well. "...Odd jobs, here and there. Mostly helping on farms, tending to gardens...Sometimes chores for those too old and feeble to perform them..." she replied hesitantly.

"At least you'll be useful to me," he muttered to himself, sounding half-disgusted for some reason. He turned to face her, the light from his lantern making his features seem ominous. "I'll have you be a laborer on my farm. Maybe I can sit back and rest for a change..." he grunted unhappily.

Astrid gave a quizzical look. "Wait, didn't mother say you inherited a small fortune? Why not just hire someone to do the work for you?"

Suddenly, his eyes grew fierce and angry. He pulled hard on the reins, causing his mare to stop dead in her tracks, jostling them both with the abrupt halting of the wagon. "There is no small fortune! It's all bloody gone!" he snarled bitterly, causing Astrid to tense. "That's why I came to get you. I have use for you, so you'd better do as I say, girl."

Feeling her temper rise from his uncalled for aggression, Astrid could barely stifle the urge to scream in his face. She simply glared, letting him know she wasn't pleased by his actions. Of course, she felt far too desperate to fight at the moment. She _despised_ feeling so desperate. Feeling disgusted with herself, she simply glared ahead, as the two of them rode in silence toward his farm.

* * *

"Hey, wake up!" Astrid woke from the jarring motion of a rough hand on her upper arm, shaking her awake. She tensed, glaring at Reiner.

"What?" she asked, feeling completely annoyed.

"Aren't you a sweet one?" he remarked sarcastically, releasing her and jumping down from the wagon. "We're here. Get your things." he demanded.

"Fine," she huffed, clearly letting her irritation show. Grabbing her small bag of belongings, she eyed the farmhouse that would be her new home. It was a large, sturdy home that seemed to once be a beautiful dwelling. Of course, it seemed as if Reiner hadn't taken proper care of the place in years, though the garden was decent enough. A few chickens pecked at the ground in a fenced in lot, while a small herd of cattle grazed in the distance. It was nowhere near as nice as she had imagined. She couldn't help but wonder what he had done with all the money he'd inherited. Even worse, she wondered how much harder her chances of leaving would be, if he had little money himself.

Astrid swallowed back her fear, hearing his impatient voice belt out. "Well?! Come on, then!"

She rolled her eyes, following behind him as he led her to the front door. As she entered the large home behind him, she noticed that each large, lavishly furnished room had been burdened with what seemed like years of dust and neglect. Empty wine and ale bottles littered the floor in certain places, and she caught a glimpse of a set of women's undergarments splayed across a chair.

Reiner, noticing her gaping stare, smirked. "A lady of the night, if you must know. Gets lonely out here." he stated matter-of-factly, causing Astrid's stomach to churn.

"I have no need to know that, nor do I care...what you do..." she replied, disgusted. What a swine. No wonder her mother wanted nothing to do with him.

"Yes you do, girl. If you're going to stay here, you may as well know how I live. If you don't like it, then you can gladly get your arse out of here. Of course, if you do leave, you may end up like that harlot, seeing as you have no other actual skills." he stated, his tone completely insulting.

"You're disgusting..." Astrid spat, stopping in her tracks and dropping her bag of things on the floor in protest.

He turned to her abruptly, smirking. "Haha...Alright, then...Take it easy."

"No. Don't you talk to me like that. If I did have a choice in the matter, I would leave..." she hissed between clenched teeth, furious with his crass demeanor.

"Fine. I didn't mean it, Astrid. I've just had a bit to drink. I let my mouth get away from me sometimes, that's all..." he held up his hands apologetically, causing Astrid to grow more irritated. She doubted he was the type to truly be sorry for anything.

"Just show me to my room..." she muttered, grabbing up her leather satchel once more and promptly staring ahead.

...

"Here it is. I'll give you today to get settled, but first thing tomorrow morning I want you up and ready to work. Understand?" Reiner barked out, showing Astrid into her new room.

"Yes..." Astrid mumbled, eyeing her surroundings. The room had a small, but cozy bed, a dresser, and a small vanity mirror in the corner. The room was neatly ordered, but dusty, as if it hadn't been maintained or even touched in years.

"This is Nona's old room, in case you were wondering." Reiner stated, his voice sounding more somber all of a sudden. "You know, she was about your age when she left..."

Astrid remained silent, her eyes catching a small, shiny object on the vanity. She slowly stepped up to it, noting that it was an old Amulet of Mara. "Was this...hers?" she asked in a hushed tone, picking up the glimmering necklace to behold.

"Yeah...Nona wore it right before she eloped with your father...I don't have any use for it. Take it, if you want." Reiner spoke, his voice somehow sounding distant and troubled.

Astrid slowly complied, taking the amulet and clutching it in her hand. It was the only thing she had left of her mother's tragic legacy.

"I'll leave you to get settled. See you in the morning..." Reiner mumbled, quietly leaving the room.

With the quiet click of the door, Astrid quietly stepped over, locking the handle. Somehow she felt safer with the door locked. Safer from _him_. She looked down to the necklace in her palm, feeling a warm tear trail down her cheek.


	3. Chapter 3: Disgusted

**A/N:** _Hello everyone! Thanks for the follows/fav/reviews and thanks to all who stop in to read. Here's chapter three. Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 3: Disgusted

Astrid wiped the sleep from her eyes as invading sunlight traveled through a nearby window, waking her from her restless slumber. She stepped out of bed, gazing out the window at the beautiful landscape below. This really was a nice dwelling, she thought to herself. Perhaps if Reiner wasn't such a rude creep, this place would be halfway enjoyable.

Quickly, she dressed herself, pondering over the reasons why her uncle hadn't come to bang on her door at the crack of dawn like he'd previously threatened to. Warily, she unlocked the door to her room, stepping out into the hallway. She looked about herself as she travelled down to the first floor, where she remembered the kitchen to be. For the first time in quite a while, the pang of hunger was fierce enough for her to sate it.

Searching various drawers and a nearby pantry, she managed to get hold of a dried piece of beef and a stale loaf of bread. It wasn't much, nor was it very satisfying to the taste, but it was food, and she ate it furiously. Finding something to drink proved more of a challenge, for the only liquid available in the house was of the alcoholic persuasion.

Stepping out the front door, Astrid squinted from the brightness of the sun on her face. It felt so good to feel warm for once, as the climate near Riften seemed to be one of the more temperate areas of Skyrim. Thank the Divines, or Deadra, or whatever. Astrid walked along a short stone path that seemed to lead to an old well.

Finding a handle connected to a bucket on a rope, Astrid cranked it, lowering said bucket and hoping to find some cold, clear water to quench her thirst. However, upon bringing it up, she found herself disappointed by the stagnant, murky water within. She huffed irritably, letting loose of the handle as the bucket plummeted back into darkness, creating a muffled splash at the bottom. Astrid then reasoned that Ale would be better than a parched throat.

...

"Ugh...What are you doing?" Reiner's strained voice caused Astrid to lower the bottle of Ale from her lips. He stood with a confused look on his features, scratching his head and stretching.

Astrid set the bottle on the kitchen table, straightening under his quizzical gaze. "I couldn't find clean water, and I was thirsty," she stated matter-of-factly. "Your well looks like it hasn't been touched in a hundred years."

"And it won't be touched for a hundred more," Reiner replied. He lazily seated himself at the table across from her, smirking. "Only here one night and you've already turned into a sot," he laughed.

Astrid scowled, not amused with his attempt at humor. "The well outside was disgusting. What do you expect me to do?"

"I expect you to do as I say," Reiner's tone grew dark. "I guess if you're to be working, you'll need some water. It'll keep you from drinking my stuff, anyway..." he grumbled. "I'll go to the river and fetch us some clean water. Meanwhile, I want you to start cleaning this place while I'm gone. It could use a woman's touch. I'm going to Riften today for supplies, so I'll get the water on the way. When I get back, I want to see some of this gods-forsaken house cleaned."

"Yes _uncle..._ " Astrid scoffed. "How come you didn't wake me up at daybreak, dear uncle?" she asked, her voice thick with sarcasm from her frustration with him.

"Hold your tongue, girl. It's my house, and I'll wake when I damn well please!" he growled, raising his voice. "If I want to drink until I sleep for forty days, I'll do it! Understand?!" he yelled, slamming a clenched fist on the table and startling Astrid.

Glaring at him, Astrid silently nodded.

* * *

Astrid staggered, collapsing on an old chair as dust flitted into the air. She'd labored well into the night, exhausted and slightly drunk from having nothing but alcoholic beverages to consume throughout the day. The lower level of the large farmhouse looked considerably better, but there was far too much filth for her to successfully clean the whole place in just one day.

Taking another drink of ale from a nearby bottle, she pondered on when Reiner would actually return with some supplies. Apparently, the small bit of food she'd scavenged that morning was the last to be found around that blasted place. She held her stomach, listening to the grumbling noises emitted from within.

Suddenly, the sound of galloping outside alerted her to see if Reiner had returned. Standing on wobbly, slightly off-balance legs, Astrid made her way to the front door. She clumsily walked out into the night, seeing her uncle's carriage not far from the farmhouse. She squinted, trying to catch a glimpse of him, only to hear him speaking in the distance. She wondered if the fool had become so drunken that he was carrying a conversation with himself at that point.

Trying not to be noticed, Astrid crept toward the carriage, noting that Reiner had not actually gone mad. There was a lady about his age speaking with him. The things they were discussing were lewd to say the least, causing Astrid to internally cringe and back away. Suddenly, Reiner dismounted the carriage, pulling the giggling woman down and into his arms. Astrid turned away when she saw where his hands were trailing on the woman's body.

Unfortunately, being slightly tipsy herself, Astrid tripped over a rock in the path, falling on her bottom and alerting the mystery woman.

"Reiner, what was that?!" the woman gasped, her voice tense and breathy in ways that caused Astrid to wince. Who knew a woman could actually be attracted to that nasty man?

Unwilling to be spotted, Astrid scrambled away to the back end of the house. She hid behind a thicket, watching Reiner's small herd of cattle bedding down for the night.

"Look, woman, I don't know what that blasted noise was!" she heard her uncle rasp in an irritated manner. "Just come inside. The little brat is probably sleeping by now, anyway..."

Astrid rolled her eyes at Reiner's comment, hearing the lady reply. "Are you sure it's not that beast that took off from Whiterun? I hear talk they've spotted it near Riften again, you know..."

"Look, I told you that was a damned coincidence! I haven't lost any livestock since...Probably a bloody pack of wolves, anyway..." her uncle stated, exasperated as he shut the door, muffling their voices past her comprehension.

Astrid sighed, wrapping her arms around her knees and propping her back against the wall of the house. "Now what...?" she mumbled to herself, frustrated. There was no way she was going back in that house knowing what her uncle and his little friend were likely up to. It was quite a disgusting thought, really. Maybe she'd just wait it out until she figured them to be asleep. Then again, maybe she'd just take her chances of being eaten and stay outside for the night. After thinking about what Reiner was actually doing in there, the latter seemed the far better option.

...

Astrid gasped, jolted awake by the distressed bellowing of Reiner's cattle in the distance. How long had she been out? She examined the sky, which was still black with night. She edged herself off the ground and back behind the thicket, watching warily to examine the noise. There was a bit of quick movement bounding away from the cattle, but it was far too quick to make out what the being actually was.

Feeling suddenly fearful, she quickly bolted to the front of the farmhouse, clammering inside. She tiptoed throughout each room, hoping to make it to her room unnoticed by her uncle. Walking by his bedroom, she breathed a sigh of relief, hearing complete silence. Upon entering her room, she clutched her stomach, still hungry from the lack of food throughout the day. She huffed, flopping carelessly onto her bed and throwing her blankets over her. Maybe her stupid uncle had enough sense to bring food home, anyway. Of course, if he did it would still be on that blasted wagon, and she didn't dare step foot outside again.

* * *

The loud, abrupt banging on her door caused Astrid to nearly jump out of bed, startled awake from her dreams.

"Astrid! I brought food and water home last night! Come start breakfast for us! Come on now, we haven't got all day to wait for your lazy arse!" Reiner's brash voice boomed from the other side of the door, causing Astrid to seethe.

"Hold on a minute! Let me get dressed, for gods sake!" she yelled, angry and irritable from being bothered by his attitude so early in the morning. Did he just say _us_? Ugh, he probably had that desperate woman with him, too.

"Fine. If you're not down here soon, I'll come in there and drag you out! I'm bloody hungry as all of Nirn here..." she heard him growl on the side.

...

Astrid paced downstairs, not amused with the current situation at all. At least she would get to eat, she thought miserably to herself. Upon entering the dining area, she noticed that the older woman sat huddled up to Reiner's arm, grinning widely. The lady was dressed in a low-cut, revealing tavern dress and had long ringlets of curly, ginger hair. She seemed to smile broadly and giggle a lot, occasionally kissing Reiner affectionately. It was enough to, quite frankly, turn Astrid's stomach inside out.

"Hello there!" the lady chimed in a feigned, cheerful voice.

"...Hi..." Astrid muttered, averting her gaze away from the two of them. "So, where's the food? What am I to be preparing?" she asked, getting right down to business. Maybe she could eat outside, away from their sickening displays of affection.

"I don't give a damn...Just fix something. I'm starving." Reiner complained. Astrid opened a cupboard, quickly grabbing some meat and vegetables to work into a simple stew.

As Astrid built a fire under the nearby cooking pot and prepared the ingredients, she couldn't help but stifle a gag as Reiner began to pour his affections on the ginger-haired woman right in front of her. Trying to divert her attention from the two lovebirds was futile, for neither cared if what they participated in was private or not. The more she tried to ignore them, the more shameless they became.

Astrid, who'd been stirring the soup furiously to take her mind off the repulsive situation, finally threw her ladle on the table, fuming. "Really, uncle?! Isn't there somewhere else you can do... _that_?! I'd leave, but seeing as this is the only place I can prepare a meal, I have little choice in the matter!" Astrid seethed between clenched teeth.

"Oh?" Reiner asked, feigning a look of surprise. "And since when do you get off telling me what to do in my own house? You don't tell me what to do, understand? You stand there and you cook. I don't care if I'm romping with a depraved Falmer in here! You don't like it? Then don't eat, you little wench!" Reiner stood, pushing the woman away from him. He pointed a finger toward the front door, his eyes fierce and glaring. "Out."

"Really?" Astrid huffed, hands now on her hips. "Well, then your _highness_ , who will prepare your meal for you? Hm?"

"GET OUT!" he spat, lunging at her and causing her to bolt out the door. Astrid ran outside, turning to see her violent, red-faced uncle leering at her from the doorway. "When you learn to keep your damned mouth shut, you can eat. Until then, stay out."

* * *

Astrid sat with her back against a nearby tree, secretly fuming inside. How in Nirn could that lecherous bastard have been related to her mother? He was beyond repulsive. Perhaps she'd be better off leaving. If it wasn't for that warm, comfortable shelter over her head, that vile man would be nothing but a memory by now. Of course, she didn't have the luxury of leaving to something better. She had very few skills, and even fewer bouts of luck.

Suddenly, a high-pitched shriek caught Astrid's attention, as the front door to the farmhouse flew open. Reiner, red-faced and full of hot rage, held his former lover by her red locks, dragging her out of his home.

"PLEASE! I WAS ONLY LOOKING AT IT!" the woman wailed, as he violently slapped her square in the face. She screamed, now sobbing, as Reiner threw her to the ground, leaving her and slamming the door shut behind him.

The pitiful woman weeped uncontrollably, scrambling to her feet and stumbling about aimlessly. Feeling both disturbed and sympathetic, Astrid slowly approached the woman.

"Are you alright?" Astrid asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes...I-I'm leaving...Riften's not too far from here, anyway..." the woman gasped and sniffled, trying to steady herself. She had a large, red handprint on her right cheek, and her neck seemed match it. The slimy bastard had attempted to strangle her, apparently.

"What in Oblivion happened?" Astrid asked, her tone hushed.

"I-It was a mistake! Listen, you shouldn't be around him. You'd better leave! He's a dangerous bastard!" the lady wept, shaking from fear.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" Astrid asked, skeptically, as the front door flew open once more.

"Astrid, get in here! NOW!" Reiner shouted, pacing toward the two of them furiously.

The ginger-haired woman screamed, running down the path as Astrid felt a forceful hand grip her upper-arm. "You don't need to be around that lying bitch..." he growled, leading Astrid inside.


	4. Chapter 4: Resentful

**A/N:** _Hello, here's chapter 4! Thanks to all who stop by to read, and hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 4: Resentful

"Sit." Reiner demanded, ponting to a nearby chair, his face still laced with anger.

Astrid obeyed apprehensively, narrowing her eyes. "What was _that_ all about?"

"I caught her trying to steal a very valuable weapon of mine. I should've known I couldn't trust a filthy harlot around my things..." he growled.

"Do you really think strangling her was necessary?" Astrid remarked, feeling that his intense attack on the pathetic woman was not entirely justified. "You could've threatened her, and she probably would have left all the same..."

"Oh, I see. You think that just because she is a woman and I'm a man, that she should be treated like some willowy flower petal, eh? Well, that's complete and utter tripe. She tried to steal from me, and I punished her the same as I would anyone. One thing you'll come to know about me, little girl, is that I take no pity or favor on those who cross me..." he spoke, his voice deep and intimidating.

Astrid grew quiet, feeling more unnerved than ever in his presence. She averted her eyes from his intense gaze, with only the churning of her empty stomach filling the thick silence that hung heavy in the room.

"You're still hungry..." Reiner muttered to himself. "Well, are you finished with sassing me? Or would you rather stay outside and go hungry for a few more hours?" he asked, his voice losing intensity.

"I-is there still food?" Astrid inquired, her mouth salivating from the very thought of eating.

"Yeah, the whore didn't eat her portion. You can have it. Her bowl is still on the table." he answered, now speaking casually, the anger depleted from his voice.

Astrid immediately walked into the dining area, more than happy to indulge in her stew. The broth was plain and simple, but filling and tasty enough. She devoured the stew in the same manner in which a saber cat would pounce on an unwilling victim.

Reiner sat beside her, leaning in close. "Maybe next time you won't be so damned mouthy." he smirked, instantly irritating her with his need to control and discipline her constantly.

Far too content from the food to argue, she simply remained silent.

"You're lucky I'm too tired to put you to work today." he snorted, with Astrid feeling secretly relieved by his comment. "Tomorrow you'll be tending to my garden. When you gather enough crops to suit me, you can take the carriage to Riften. There's a marketplace there where you can set up shop. It stays fairly busy, so you'll likely make us some coin if you put some effort into it." She felt Reiner's eyes scan over her briefly, causing her to cringe internally. "The menfolk will stop for you, anyway..." he muttered, looking away.

Astrid scowled. "I'd rather you not say things like that, _uncle_."

"Don't flatter yourself, _niece_. It's business. Men fancy young women, and that's a fact. It certainly won't hurt your sales." he remarked, smirking.

"Well, it just doesn't sound right coming out of your mouth..." she explained, feeling awkward as ever.

"Whatever. I see what I see, and that's that. Oh, that reminds me. I noticed the only things you ever wear are filthy old work clothes and ragged dresses. There's a basket I left in your bedroom with some decent clothes in it for you to wear to Riften. Nobody wants to buy food from someone who looks like a homeless beggar..." he stated bluntly.

"Oh? You bought clothes for me?" Astrid asked warily, tapping her fingers on the table.

"Yeah, I stopped by the general goods store in Riften. They had a few things you could use. Things that were certainly better than those ragged old things you call clothes, anyway. If they are too big, you'll have to adjust them." Reiner replied.

* * *

Astrid eyed herself in the small vanity, feeling a bit strange in such a nice, form-fitting dress. Her old dresses had been worse for wear, both stained and stretched out of their former shapes long ago. She ran her fingers over the soft, velvety fabric while she took it all in. Astrid noticed that it was such a lovely color - a deep, beautiful green. The other dresses were just as nice and somehow fit perfectly as well, but this was by far her favorite. She had to admit, it was rather nice to have something decent to wear for a change, even if her uncle's only motivations for her gifts were to make sure she was approachable enough to sell his wares.

She sighed gently through her nose, reaching into a drawer and pulling out the old amulet that once belonged to her mother. Perhaps she could wear it to town when she felt comfortable enough with the idea of marrying someone. It wasn't exactly something she'd dreamt of her whole life, like many young women her age were accustomed to do. In her eyes, it was more of a necessity. More than that, it would be an escape route from her revolting uncle. The sooner she got away from him, the better.

Astrid stood, gently stepping over to the window, watching the last traces of sunlight fade in the horizon. As the dark veil of night crept over the sky, thoughts of her mother's gentle presence began to drift into Astrid's mind. She inhaled deeply, feeling herself grimace from the unpleasant, ever-constant flood of memories that reminded her that her mother was forever gone. She began to think of how strange it was to love the woman just as deeply as she resented her. Small, unwilling tears traced her eyes, as Astrid began to wipe at them furiously. Why did her mother set her up for such failure and misery? Astrid promised herself she'd never be so full of desperation as to marry an abusive bastard like her father. Of course, she cringed internally, realizing that desperation was still forcing her to live with _another_ bastard. Reiner may not have been her father, but he was similar, and that was bad enough.

Perhaps what her mother had lacked was the basic need to fight for herself - to be sharp and cunning when necessary. Astrid knew deep within that she had always been different from her mother. Where Astrid had often seen opportunities, her mother saw the need to adhere to her own moral compass. Astrid had always wondered what good a moral compass truly served, if it condemned them both to die cold and hungry. Could it really have hurt to bend the truth a few times, in order to make a bit more coin? It certainly would have saved them some back-breaking labor, had she allowed Astrid to lie to her clients. They were elderly and impaired, and would have been none the wiser.

But no - mother never saw things her way. "No, Astrid. We can't allow ourselves to stoop so low. I know others have wronged us, but we cannot fall prey to that mentality. It would make us no different from our enemies..." she would lecture, her tone of conviction secretly making Astrid's skin crawl. Of course, Astrid couldn't help but brood over her mother's self-sacrificing moral attitude, now more than ever. It was her mother's martyr-like mentality of suffering and weepy "do-good" behavior that had landed Astrid in that sick pit of despair in the first place.

Of course, mother wasn't there anymore to keep the blinders on while she led Astrid by the reins on the straight and narrow. And, what mother wouldn't know, would certainly benefit Astrid. Even the wild beasts of Skyrim were cunning enough to keep themselves alive, so why not she? Did anyone ever accuse a wolf of being evil? No. They simply called it wild, feral, or simply a beast. Astrid decided she rather liked beasts, after all.

Perhaps, Astrid mused, she would begin to use her dormant, deeply-hidden ability sooner, rather than later...

* * *

"What do you mean I get to eat?" Astrid scowled, pointing to the Reiner's carriage, which had been loaded with baskets of his finest leeks, potatoes, and cabbages. "You mean to tell me, that I've been working in your fields since the break of dawn, only to be denied any profits?"

"Your good fortune is that I can and will provide food and shelter, dear _niece_. You work, you eat. That is your profit, young Astrid." Reiner barked, crossing his arms with authority. "Whatever you earn comes to me, and I'll provide. It's my land, my home, and my crop. Seeing as though I took your scrawny arse in out of pity, I don't see why you should be entitled to anything of mine. I did you a favor!" Reiner spat, pointing a grimy finger in Astrid's face.

Astrid suppressed the urge to reach out and strangle the slimy son of a bitch. "Very well, _uncle._ You've made your point. Now, how much do you expect me to sell your crop for?"

"Pffft..." Reiner waved a hand, as if to dismiss the hope of making a great deal of gold. "You'll be lucky if you get more than a solitary coin per piece for this. Just bring me whatever you earn, understand?"

"Of course, uncle..." Astrid remarked sarcastically, quickly turning to climb up on the carriage. Taking the reins in her hands, she paused, hearing her uncle's words.

"I see you're wearing the green one..." he spoke, his voice trailing off, as if in thought.

"Yeah. Why?" Astrid shot him a leary glance, wondering why he'd even care what dress she was wearing.

"That was Nona's favorite color, you know. For the life of me, you could be her twin, girl..." he stared into her eyes, causing her to feel both nauseous and uneasy.

"I'll be back tonight," Astrid promptly replied, alerting the old mare to gallop ahead. Astrid swallowed hard, following the trail to Riften as Reiner had instructed her to. She kept her eyes strictly to the dirt path, never once glancing back in Reiner's direction. She despised him more by the day, and his strange remarks weren't helping matters. She may have looked just like her mother, but she was an entirely different creature altogether. He would see that in time, whether he liked it or not.


	5. Chapter 5: Dishonest

**A/N-** _Hi everyone! First of all, my apologies that this is a little late. This has been a really hectic week and I wasn't quite finished tweaking this chapter yesterday. Thanks to everyone who has stopped in to read/fav/follow/review! It means a lot! Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

Chapter 5: Dishonest

If there was ever one thing Astrid found herself agreeing with Reiner over, it was the fact that trying to sell his vegetables was a futile venture, to say the least. She had been set up in the market square all day, only to have an elderly woman purchase two leeks for a gold coin. One gold piece was the only thing she had to her name from all of her hard labor since daybreak. Unlike the well-established merchants of Riften, she'd been stuck on the outskirts of the marketplace with no wooden stand to show off her wares. It probably wouldn't have helped anyway, Astrid figured.

Reiner had been right about one thing, however, and it was the fact that she did garner the attention of the male onlookers within her immediate area. Of course, they simply made lewd remarks or ogled her, with no intention of actually bartering with her. She nearly retched when a man who appeared to be the town drunkard asked if she'd been interested in marriage. Apparently, her misery had travelled beyond the imprisoning walls of Reiner's farm and right into the city of Riften along with her.

"You know, you...would make a...lovely...wife..." the sot slurred on, standing much too close for Astrid's comfort. "By the...way...y-you wouldn't have some...spare gold...would ya?" the man begged, the foul reek of alchohol rising from his clothing.

"No. I don't have anything. Go away." Astrid answered plainly, not amused in the least.

"But I...was only..." the drunkard rambled on, only to be cut off mid-sentence.

"Here, buddy." A rough, masculine hand came from the crowd of bustling peasants holding three gold coins. "Should be enough for a drink, friend. Now why don't you go and bugger off, eh? This young lady is tryin' to work here." a voice with a thick, distinct accent hit her ears. Astrid's gaze rose to meet the blue eyes of a young Breton man. His sandy blonde hair was of extremely short length and he seemed to be suited in some sort of light armor.

Astrid watched silently as the young man shooed the unwanted sot toward the nearest tavern in sight, which happened to be a place the locals called the Bee and Barb. The man turned his gaze back to Astrid, his expression welcoming and friendly.

"Well, he shouldn't be botherin' you anymore, miss. Another drink and he'll be dead to Nirn, I'd wager." the man grinned broadly.

"Thanks for getting rid of him," Astrid spoke, feeling relieved the annoyance had vanished from her sight.

"No problem, miss. He's a bit of a nuisance, that one. Always botherin' the womenfolk around here. Askin' for their hands in marriage and whatnot...He didn't take any of your coin, did he?" the man asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, but that would be assuming I actually have any coin to take..." Astrid mumbled, irritated by her dismal attempts at selling Reiner's goods.

"Is that so, eh?" the man eyed Astrid's baskets of various vegetables, rubbing his chin. "Looks to me like you have nice crops here, miss."

"Yeah, try telling that to everyone else around here..." Astrid huffed, folding her arms from frustration.

"Oh, you don't have to tell me, luv. I know all about the...er...finacial woes of Riften. It ain't your fault, miss. It's these parts. Terribly hard for a soul to make an honest livin' around here. Just the way it is." the man explained, a trace of sympathy in his voice.

"I don't know how much I actually value an honest living at this point, really. Honest work hasn't gotten me much of anywhere, to be quite frank with you," Astrid admitted, venting her frustrations.

At those words, the man shot her a look, as if he were examining her for some reason. "Is that so, miss...? So, if I were to let you in on a little secret - tell you who'd give you the _real_ business - you'd be willin' to listen?"

Astrid shrugged, nonchalantly, though secretly feeling a sense of intrigue from the man's words. Did he know some way she could make more coin? Did she actually have a chance to leave her rotten uncle? "I don't see why not." she answered coolly.

"Very well, then..." the man's tone fell hushed, as he leaned in close to her. "You can make the coin, but it would require you to sell to those of us with _less_ than honorable reputations..."

" _Us?_ So you are part of whatever this less than reputable orginization is, then?" Astrid asked, suddenly eager to learn more.

"Aye, I am...My guild is in desperate need of food provisions, and our last supplier was murdered. He wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, that one. We can't rely on the established merchants here. They're all about keepin' their businesses untarnished by our lot and all that. If you'll sell to me, I'll buy the whole lot of your crops here for no less than two hundred gold. Whaddya say, miss?" the man asked, grinning from ear to ear.

"Really? That's double what their worth..." Astrid said warily.

"Of course it is! I'll pay you well, and you can bring me a shipment of goods each week. It'll be worth your time, miss." he persuaded.

Instinctively feeling skeptical of the stranger's offer, Astrid narrowed her eyes. "But why pay so well for something so common? Surely, whoever you are, it can't be that hard to obtain simple vegetables. It's not like I'm smuggling moonsugar..."

"Ah, you need explanations then. I like a woman who can think for herself. Yes, food isn't especially hard to find, but it's hard to find someone who will sell copious amounts of their wares to the likes of us. The type of work we perform keeps us on our toes, and we don't have time for dallying around and what not. Let's just say pickin' out vegetables is the least of our concerns. It's well worth the gold to find a steady supplier." the young man explained, the idea of it all sounding perfect.

"You have a deal, then. You pay me two hundred gold coins, and I'll bring more next week. " Astrid smirked, feeling elated to have some money to her name for once.

"Ah, now that's what I like to hear! The name's Delvin Mallory. And you might be...?" he inquired, extending a hand in a friendly greeting.

"Astrid. So, who exactly are your people?" she asked while shaking his hand, curious to his secrecy.

"As much as I'd love to tell you, I'm gonna have to wait for a bit. We need to do business for a bit first, until we get to know each other a bit better. I hope you understand, luv. They'd have my head if I let everything slip in one meetin'." he answered apologetically, handing her a heavy coin purse.

Astrid smiled, opening the purse to admire the shiny coins within. "Very well, then. Hopefully we'll get to know each other better soon. So, do you need me to help you with these baskets?"

"No, miss. Just leave 'em. I'll have my people pick them up. They're a pretty secretive lot. It was a pleasure doin' business with you, miss Astrid." he grinned broadly. "Hope to see you again _real_ soon."

"Oh, you will..." Astrid smirked from over her shoulder, walking away.

* * *

Delvin looked on as the young blonde faded out among the crowd. He sighed, hoping things would fair well for his new business relationship. Of course, there was more to it than the mere convenience of having a fresh delivery of foodstuffs every week. Being a young man, he couldn't help but notice that she was a beautiful creature. Among other things, he'd hoped to get to know her better over time.

There was something he found instantly alluring about the young woman. She seemed calm and had a cool exterior, which was quite refreshing compared to many women he knew about her age. They were rowdy, fun, and none too serious. They were just right for a good romp, but many were happy-go-lucky and had their heads in the clouds. Astrid, however, seemed to have something deeper hidden beneath those pretty hazel eyes of hers.

There was something about her that seemed more observant, reserved, and perhaps even more calculated than most. There seemed to be something devious inside her waiting to be released. Every criminal had some form of this quality, and Delvin himself recognized it better than anyone. It was the need to gain for oneself by any means necessary. It was the urge to break through the binds of what others deemed good and normal, and dabble into the dark pleasures of criminal desires.

Delvin chuckled to himself, hopeful that he'd see the mysterious young woman again. He tugged at a basket filled to the brim with potatoes, throwing it over his shoulder, while grabbing another containing leeks. He'd send for the others when he made his way to the Ragged Flagon. Delvin took one final glance through the crowd, seeing no trace of the enigmatic woman who had peeked his interests.

"Astrid..." he said to himself, tasting the sound of her name. He donned a crooked grin, thoughts of the blonde Nord running rampant through his mind.

* * *

"What do you mean you sold all of it for ten bloody coins?! Damn it! Are you crazy, woman?!" Reiner yelled furiously, throwing his tankard of Ale across the room.

Astrid pulled a small, pitiful pouch of coins from her satchel, casually tossing it on the dinner table. She shrugged apathetically, "It's the best I could do. I had one offer, and the man offered ten gold coins for the whole thing or nothing at all."

"If he would have offered you a single blasted coin for the whole lot, would you have taken that offer, too?! Stupid girl..." he growled, his face red and his eyes glaring.

"The only thing stupid around here is your expectations, _dear uncle..._ " Astrid spat sarcastically, folding her arms. "If I'm not mistaken, you informed me yourself that I'd hardly have any luck. So I did as I was instructed. I sold your crops and I received payment. Now I have given it to you, as you so eloquently demanded earlier. Now, am I dismissed from this debate?" Astrid cocked an eyebrow.

Reiner stared daggers through Astrid, causing her every muscle to tense. Hopefully he wouldn't sense that she was hiding something. Of course, seeing as though the man drank alcohol as if it were water, he couldn't possibly have a very acute sense of awareness.

"Errr...very well, then. This mess will have to do. Just get outta my sight..." Reiner grumbled, quickly grabbing a bottle of Ale off a nearby shelf and plopping on a chair. "Next time I expect to see you take a better offer...You got took, girl..."

Astrid merely shot him an unpleasant look before calmly dismissing herself and heading up the staircase. She felt more than annoyed by Reiner's constant disapproval and demanding nature, but she'd keep it to herself, along with _other_ things.

...

Astrid held her breath, listening to the gentle click as she locked the door to her bedroom. Eyes growing wide and alert, she quickly scanned her surroundings for a hiding spot that wouldn't be so obvious. She didn't trust stuffing the pouch inside her mattress or locking it in the dresser. If Reiner somehow caught onto her, he'd probably tear those things apart first thing to get to it.

She silently crouched, running her fingers over the old floorboards, hoping to find a weak spot to pry up and hide her prized possession. Unfortunately, the old homestead was as sturdy as ever, causing a defeated sigh to fall from Astrid's lips.

Traces of moonlight filtered through her bedroom window, painting in twisted patterns on the floor, and catching Astrid's attention. Maybe inside would be far too obvious. She stood, calmly approaching the window and scanning the moonlit landscape on the other side. What place would her uncle never think to notice? Astrid's mind became blank, desperately searching for an answer.

Leaning toward the glass, she sighed, her warm breath fogging her view. Frowning, she wiped the translucent layer of steam from her vision, her eyes narrowing when clarity revealed the answer that lay on the other side of the window. Astrid smirked, her eyes fixating on the old, murky well in the distance. The rickety bucket was still resting in its dark depths, where Astrid had left it. It had remained completely untouched since she'd found it. Never in a hundred years would Reiner plan to look there...


	6. Chapter 6: Suspicious

**A/N-** _Hello everyone! Here's chapter 6, and a big thanks out there to all who read/review/fav/follow my story! Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 6: Suspicious

Astrid sat chopping various spices and vegetables at the kitchen table, eyebrows knitted together in concentration. She could feel the warmth of the fire as it slowly burned beneath a kettle, boiling the liquid within. She finished dicing a leek, sighing and pushing the small pieces into a pile to join rest of her ingredients.

Wiping the sweat from her brow, Astrid felt the ache of fatigue crawling up her body, resulting from a grueling day's work spent cleaning and tending to Reiner's farm. Strangely enough, just as the sun had begun to set, her uncle had pulled her aside to fix a meal for the _second_ time that day. For the life of her, Astrid couldn't imagine why the bastard wanted a second meal, as there were still leftovers from the first.

"Astrid..." Reiner pulled her from her thoughts as she looked toward her uncle's intruding voice.

"What?" she inquired, making sure he sensed the irritation in her voice.

"Now you're probably wondering why I have you cooking again..." he began, folding his arms across his chest.

Astrid raised an eyebrow, waiting for whatever idiotic answer was about to fall from his grimy mouth.

"I'm having some company over tonight." Reiner answered.

"Who in Oblivion would come here at this hour?" Astrid blurted out in a fog of frustration and confusion.

"Watch your tongue, girl..." Reiner warned. "Now this company - these are men I do business with. Seeing as though you haven't made us enough coin to feed a damned skeever, I decided to sell a few... _items_. They'll be here sometime before midnight. When you're finished here, I want you out of sight until I call for you. You'll be setting the table and fetching food for my guests." he demanded, his feelings of entitlement as obvious as ever.

"And why, _pray tell_ , can these men not feed themselves like any individual with half a brain could?" Astrid scoffed, finding his request utterly ridiculous.

Reiner scowled, stepping into her personal space and causing her to tense. He leaned forward, only inches from her face, as she turned away from him. "Because, young Astrid, these men can make me a lot of money. If you don't do as your told, then things will be much worse for you than they are now..." he growled in her ear, causing her skin to crawl.

Astrid straightened, continuing her work to distract her from Reiner's aggressive behavior. "Very well then," she cleared her throat. "Exactly what kind of business are you engaging in, uncle?" Astrid asked, quickly changing the subject.

Reiner smirked, breathing in her ear. "My business, and not yours," he seethed, turning and walking out of the kitchen. "Remember to listen when I call for you," he reminded her as he left.

* * *

"Get downstairs. They're here," Reiner spoke quietly from the other side of Astrid's bedroom door. Funny, she thought, that the only time he spoke in a calm manner was when he needed coin. Go figure.

" _Of course_ , dear uncle," Astrid replied, her voice sugary sweet with sarcasm as she opened her door.

"Enough, smart ass. Now get down there and feed my guests. I need to get on their good sides before I seal the deal," he said, smirking as Astrid walked by him, heading to the dining area.

Suddenly, Reiner gripped her roughly by the forearm, turning her to face him. "Don't mess this up for me," he stated in a low, threatening tone.

"I won't!" Astrid huffed, forcefully yanking her arm away from his grasp.

* * *

"You fellows must be weary from a long day's journey. My neice Astrid will gladly fetch you boys something to eat." Reiner greeted three shady looking males - an Imperial, a Dunmer, and a Khajiit. Astrid stood beside her uncle, mentally rolling her eyes at his false hospitality. He must've had quite a bit of coin riding on this interaction to be so personable, she thought.

"Reiner, we didn't come here to have a tea party. You got the Skooma or not?" the Imperial asked impatiently, hand now on hip.

"Of course, of course! Right this way..." Reiner nervously led the way out of the kitchen. The Dark Elf and the Imperial followed hastily behind him, while the Khajiit merely waited, casually seating himself.

Astrid furrowed her brow, warily observing the feline. He simply smiled at her, the seemingly innocent gesture standing in sharp contrast to the deep, ominous scar trailing down his lip. "Aren't you going with them?" she asked, curiously.

"Oh, no, no...Dar'Sien has no desire to purchase Skooma. He has all the moonsugar he will ever need. He can produce a much stronger mixture than this man. Your uncle...He holds a certain weapon that this one must aquire for his client...Yes..." the Khajiit explained calmly, carving an ambiguous doodle into Reiner's table with a sharp claw.

"Hm. Well, do you want any food? Reiner forced me to make this stew for all of you. You may as well eat some of it..." Astrid grumbled, annoyed that Reiner insisted on using her as a personal slave, no matter how ridiculous the task.

"No. Dar'Sien does not wish to consume anything that is prepared in your uncle's vicinity." the Khajiit aswered bluntly.

"I didn't poison it, if that's what you are getting at..." Astrid placed a hand on her hip, growing agitated.

"Perhaps you did not, but this one would not put it past Reiner. He is not known for his manners or courtesy. This one doesn't like the way he is behaving. It is not in his nature to be hospitable..." the Khajiit explained, nonchalantly studying his claws. "A word of advice to you...When we depart, you would be wise to empty that pot..." the Khajiit's voice fell low and raspy, shooting a leary glance toward the kettle.

Astrid, feeling intrigued by the feline, seated herself beside him. "How well do you know my uncle?" she asked, suddenly hungry for answers. Just how far did Reiner's illegal activities go? Sure he was an ass, but would he really murder someone?

The Khajiit grinned mischievously. "Oh, Dar'Sien has known Reiner for many years. This one has purchased many valuables from him. Weapons, mostly..."

"Then why not just go to the marketplace?" Astrid remarked. "What's so special about Reiner's junk?"

"Ah...Yes, the marketplace holds various weapons and wares. That is true. But Reiner...he finds rare and valuable weapons...Weapons that belong to noble families, or officers...Weapons that are illegal to be in possession of. Many would pay a small fortune for these wares. Consider Dar'Sien and your uncle to be part of a _specific_ market, if you wish..." the Khajiit explained.

Astrid leaned back in her seat, folding her arms in disbelief. "If this is all so illegal and secretive, then why are you telling me?"

"Ah, you desire answers...Dar'Sien senses that perhaps you dislike your uncle. Is this true?" the Khajiit inquired, now tapping his claws on the table.

"Yes..." Astrid replied, surprised by the thick sound of hatred in her voice.

The Khajiit grinned, showing his razor-sharp fangs. "Dar'Sien also does not like Reiner. He is a filthy vermin. This one would rip him to shreds if he did not have such talent for aquiring valuables."

"But, why tell me?" Astrid reiterated the question, not sure what to make of all this.

"Because he clearly does not want you to know. For what reason, this one is not sure. Perhaps he fears you would grow tired of his cruelty and turn him in. Since Dar'Sien despises him, he enjoys going against Reiner's wishes..." the Khajiit purred, apparently quite happy with himself for telling on Reiner.

Astrid smirked, "I see...I'll certainly keep that information in mind."

"Use it if there ever comes a time that you need to threaten him. Reiner is a volatile serpent in the sand...Unpredictable...Unstable...He is not right...This one has known him for a long time...Beware of him...Leave this place if you can..." Dar'Sien warned, his voice turning low and sober.

Astrid simply stayed silent, not revealing that she had plans to do that very thing. She'd already sold her wares to Delvin twice by now, and tomorrow she'd receive another generous amount of coin. Her plan was to stay at the farm as long as she could possibly tolerate it, for her connection with Delvin - and the generous pay she was receiving - would be broken the moment she fled for another city. When living with Reiner proved to be too much to bear, she'd simply leave with her small fortune. She'd studied on residing in Solitude, perhaps. The deciding factor being the fact that the large city happened to be very, _very_ far away from him.

"Ah...Dar'Sien senses that you plan to flee someday...You are much, much too quiet...Your mind is at work...This one does not blame you...You are wise to do such..." the Khajiit mused, as Astrid secretly marveled at his keen observation.

Suddenly, Reiner and the two others appeared once more. He had a dopey grin on his face, as Astrid noticed the two males had satchels full of what must've been Skooma. "Glad to do business with you two. I'll have more ready when you need me."

The Imperial and the Dunmer silently walked by Dar'Sien, nodding to him as they exited the farmhouse. The Khajiit stood calmly, catching Reiner's attention. Astrid watched as a wicked smile crept across her uncle's features. "Dar'Sien, my ole' friend! Are you here to inquire about that thing you wanted so badly?" Reiner asked, his lips curled with greed.

"Ah, this one has a certain... _client_ in need of it, yes." Dar'Sien looked over his shoulder, sending a sly wink to Astrid, who faintly smirked in return.

"Come right this way..." Reiner stated politely, leading Dar'Sien up the stairs to his room.

* * *

Astrid had just finished placing the last of the wooden dinner bowls back in the cabinet, when Reiner and Dar'Sien came down the staircase, catching her attention.

"Such pleasure doing business with you..." the Khajiit purred contently.

"If you need anything else, you know where to find me." Reiner grinned, clutching a large coinpurse in his hand. He then turned to Astrid, "Go see him to his carriage," he demanded.

"Why would I do that?" Astrid remarked, finding his instructions to be nothing more than pointless nonsense. Dar'Sien was a Khajiit for Mara's sake! He could see better in the dark than any of them! Why would he possibly need any assistance?

"Just do it..." Reiner hissed between clenched teeth.

"Fine, uncle." Astrid spat, leading the Khajiit out the door and into the night air.

Once the door clicked shut behind them, Dar'Sien turned to Astrid with a satisfied grin on his features. "Dar'Sien requested for you to walk him to his wagon. This one has something to show you..."

Astrid gave him a wary look, backing a step away from him. "What do you need to show me?"

The feline reached into a satchel hidden under his cloak. He pulled out a strange, jagged dagger that Astrid had never seen before. "This...is very valuable. Dar'Sien's client will cherish it dearly. Dar'Sien paid your uncle a thousand gold coins for this. If he denies you supplies, saying that he has not the coin for them, then you know it is a lie. Remember, he is a serpent..." Dar'Sien hissed, hiding the blade once more.

"What's so special about that dagger?" Astrid asked, curiously.

"'Tis the Blade of Woe. It is ancient and much desired by...certain individuals. It had become lost or stolen long ago. Reiner has many weapons and valuables worth much more than this..." Dar'Sien explained.

"Why are you telling me all this again?" Astrid shook her head, still perplexed by the Khajiit's unusual behavior.

"The same reason Dar'Sien told you the other things. He dislikes your uncle. You can use this information if ever you need to turn him in. Besides, Dar'Sien prefers to have the upper-hand in all his affairs...He knows the weaknesses of those he deals with...Then, he plants the seeds...In time, they grow, if necessary..." the Khajiit grinned slyly, turning and walking away from Astrid.

"Do not eat the stew..." he turned to her again, warning Astrid one final time before leaving in the wagon.

* * *

Astrid gently shut the front door behind her, watching Reiner greedily count coins on the table. One by one, he slid each coin off the table and into the large purse, his eyes growing hungrier with every satisfying clink of gold hitting gold. Feeling extremely curious about Dar'Sien's warning, she grabbed a bowl from a nearby cabinet.

"Did you do well, uncle?" Astrid asked casually, taking the ladle and dipping a bowlful of stew for herself.

"Eh, okay. Nothing to brag about. It's enough to live off of." Reiner shrugged, downplaying his small fortune. He quickly pushed the remaining coins off the table and back into the coin purse. He was such a terrible liar.

Astrid cleared her throat, hoping to get his attention as she seated herself, placing the stew in front of her. Unfortunately, the fool took no notice, as he was busy fumbling with the string in an attempt to tie the purse shut.

"Well, this certainly smells pleasant..." Astrid remarked, glancing up at Reiner, who's mind was still quite distracted.

"Uncle..." Astrid said, finally catching his attention.

"What?!" Reiner barked, irritably.

"I'd hate to let all this food go to waste. You know, since you forced me to prepare it. Would you like me to fetch you a bowl as well?" Astrid asked innocently.

"W-what?! No! For Talos' sake! Don't eat it. Throw it out!" Reiner demanded, his eyes wide.

"Why?! I spent all this time making it!" Astrid replied indignantly. "I'm eating it." Then, to test him, she picked up a spoonful of the stew, slowly bringing it to her lips.

Reiner nearly leaped across the table, slapping both the bowl and spoon out of Astrid's hands. Astrid merely stared at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly open in astonishment.

"What are you trying to do, kill yourself?!" Reiner yelled, furious.

"...What?" Astrid asked hesitantly.

"By the gods, woman! I poisoned the stuff. Throw it out..." Reiner sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"Why?" Astrid asked accusingly.

"If you MUST know, it's a slow-acting poison. Those morons would've traveled about a mile from here, then they'd be dead. I could've had payment _and_ retrieved all my loot. I wouldn't have even had to worry about their corpses stinkin' up my property! Of course, it didn't work out that way..." Reiner admitted, tapping his grimy fingers on the table in frustration.

"H-have you done this before?" Astrid inquired, feeling sick inside. He really was a serpent. Dar'Sien was right.

"Look, don't think for one second that those milk drinkers wouldn't do the same to me, if they had the chance! How I make profit is my own business, understand?" Reiner growled defensively, balling his fists.

"Very well, uncle. Pardon me, I'm going to throw this out now." Astrid stood promptly, going toward the kettle.

"Astrid..." Reiner spoke, his tone softening a bit.

"What?"

"Just...Keep all this between you and me, alright? These are personal matters, anyway. I can't have the whole city of Riften knowing my business." he stated, as Astrid sensed an uneasiness in his voice.

"Now just _who_ would I tell, uncle?" Astrid smiled innocently.


	7. Chapter 7: Talkative

**A/N-** _Hello again! Here's chapter 7 - hope you enjoy! As always, a big thanks to you readers out there!_

* * *

Chapter 7: Talkative

"You're here awful early, Miss Astrid." Delvin approached the young Nord woman, grinning broadly. He instantly noticed that Astrid seemed unusually chipper, compared to the two previous times he'd met with her.

"Let's just say I have a bit of extra energy today. My sot of an uncle was dead to Nirn this morning. I didn't get stuck with a thousand errands before I left." Astrid smiled contently, arms folded.

Delvin raised an eyebrow. "Uncle? You've never mentioned an uncle before...I assumed you lived alone..."

"Living alone would be the better option..." Astrid muttered.

Delvin began to sense that the man she spoke of wasn't the best person. "This bloke you talk about...Is he treatin' you well?"

"Hah!" Astrid scoffed. "If you consider making me his personal servant and blatantly being a son of a bitch good treatment..."

Delvin began to feel a pang of sympathy well up in his chest. Perhaps this explained why the woman was so eager to sell to his people. Much of the time, a person would have to be in quite the spot to be willing to sell to the likes of him. "I see...Miss, you must've had some unfortunate circumstances befall you to have to stay with him. He doesn't hit you, does he?" Delvin asked, somehow feeling a bit protective of the mysterious, beautiful woman before him.

"No. Not yet, anyway..." Astrid blew, running a hand through her blonde locks.

"That doesn't sound very promising, miss..." Delvin mused aloud.

"It's not. Reiner's not easy to live with in the least. I didn't have much of a choice, really. My mother requested on her deathbed that he help me up on my feet once she was gone. Needless to say, he's taken complete advantage of my situation. He works me from the time I wake till I go to sleep. I cook, clean, tend to his farm all while he drinks and indulges in prostitutes every other day of the week. He's a putrid tyrant. If I don't listen to him, he makes my life... _less than_ pleasant... " the young woman vented.

Delvin could easily see that this man was making her life miserable. He pondered over her situation, briefly thinking of the man's name: _Reiner_. It sounded so familiar..."Miss Astrid, did you say his name is Reiner?" Delvin asked, as faint memories of the person attached to said name drifted throughout his mind.

"Yes, why?" Astrid narrowed her eyes.

"Does he perhaps deal in some...less than legal matters?" Delvin raised a brow, now distinctly remembering a man who smuggled illegal items by that very name.

"Funny you should mention that. The bastard just sold a stolen weapon last night along with some skooma. To boot it all, he tried to poison his clients so he could get it all back. Honestly, the more I live with the man, the more warped he seems..." Astrid explained, her voice trailing off. "How do you know him, anyway?" she asked Delvin warily.

"I don't, personally. I believe he's had a few missteps with my people in the past. This bloke is basically a well-seasoned fence. I believe he has deep ties to a far-reaching series of bandits, ruffians, and the like. Years ago, he did some work for us. Of course, the bugger decided to screw us over in our dealings, keeping far more profit than he should have. Some of my bunch retaliated, raiding his house while he was out. Our guild took quite a bit of his fortune...After that, we cut ties with him." Delvin recalled, now realizing what danger Astrid could possibly be in. Though he had no direct contact with Reiner, he'd heard enough from his peers to know that the man was a loose cannon.

"That explains a lot..." Astrid nodded, mumbling to herself in contemplation. "My mother's letter said that he once held a small fortune, but by the time I arrived at his home, it was a dump..." she trailed off again. "Wait, you said guild. So you're part of a guild?" she inquired, catching Delvin's slip-up.

Delvin sighed, knowing that attractive women often caused him to say a little more than he intended to - especially this woman. Not only was she beautiful, but she was cool and cunning, mysterious, and in trouble to boot it all. From what he'd heard, Reiner would do anything to anybody to make a profit for himself. Apparently, the man was in a very bad way, and Astrid was an easy target. "Aye, and I'll tell you more in a bit. Do you have some sort of plan to leave that bastard? He's dangerous..."

"As a matter of fact I do," Astrid remarked, somehow defensively, as if she felt she could take care of herself. " _You_ are my plan. I'm keeping most of my profits. Reiner doesn't do the labor, so he doesn't get what I get. The bastard doesn't deserve it anyway. He doesn't know the difference, considering sells aren't exactly soaring in Riften." she smirked. "Now, tell me about this guild..."

"Alright, luv. Have you ever heard of the Thieves' Guild?" Delvin spoke in a hushed tone.

"Yes, the people around here seem to mention them a bit. So you're one of them? I'd suspected as much..." Astrid smiled arrogantly, causing Delvin to chuckle. "It's a bit obvious, actually, now that I think about it..."

"Haha...Guess I need to brush up on my subtlety." Delvin laughed nervously, realizing it wasn't too hard to figure out in the first place. "You know, we could use the likes of you. You're calm, cool, collected, and all that. You know anything about life in the shadows, Miss Astrid? You know - sneaking, silence, quick hands and an even quicker wit? I bet a lady like you would fit right in with us." Delvin beamed, feeling compelled by the idea. Of course, she'd have to develop skill in those areas to be successful enough to be accepted by his people. If things worked out, she could get away from Reiner and be close to Delvin, which was, of course, his ulterior motive. He just couldn't shake it. She was fascinating to him.

"The only sneaking I've done is behind Reiner's back." Astrid stated bluntly. "I doubt I'm skilled enough to join your people."

Delvin grinned, rubbing his chin. "I could teach you, if you'd like. I'll buy your wares, then you can accompany me on some of my jobs until you're ready to approach the guild. You join us, and you'll never have to worry about that bastard uncle of yours. Whaddya say, luv?" he asked, feeling full of hope.

"Just how am I supposed to accomplish all this, Delvin?" Astrid huffed skeptically. "I'm allowed one day a week to sell Reiner's things. I hardly think that's enough time to turn myself into a full-blown thief, do you?" she asked, eyebrow raised.

"Ah, you have good points there, Astrid. Might I make a suggestion to you? It's a bit of a this for that, but knowing Reiner...it may work in your favor." Delvin replied, hoping to persuade her.

"I'm listening..." Astrid seemed compliant so far.

"I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you have to give him more of the profits if you want to be in Riften more." Delvin said, bracing himself for her inevitable disappointment.

"Give Reiner more coin?! That's ridiculous! He does nothing but wallow in his own filth day after day, while I have the pleasure of being his personal slave!" Astrid hissed, obviously upset by his idea.

Delvin sighed, "I know, I know...Look, I'm not telling you to give him everything. Just give him some actual profit. Maybe a quarter, or perhaps half if that doesn't work."

"Half? Are you kidding?" Astrid rolled her eyes.

"Only if he doesn't respond to your first offer. Just...listen to me, miss..." Delvin worriedly tried to convince her. "Say you come home today with fifty gold coins, instead of...?" Delvin gave her a questioning look.

"Ten." Astrid spat, not amused.

"Really, luv? Only ten? No wonder the bastard doesn't let you out..." Delvin mumbled. "Look, if he sees an increase in his coin, I'm sure it will change his mind. You bring the increase in coin, and he'll let you come out here. I'll use those days to train you."

"Yes, but what about coin? I'm not going to make any if you're training me, am I?" Astrid asked cynically. "Then what?"

"Oh, yes you will, luv. I'll be training you to steal, and that includes coin. You'll be rolling in it by the time I'm through with you. Once you're experienced enough, you can join us. I, for one, would be glad to have you..." Delvin smiled warmly, prompting a faint smile from Astrid in return. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

"Fine." Astrid finally chuckled, giving in. "But if this doesn't work, I expect to be reimbursed."

"I promise. Cross my heart, Miss Astrid." Delvin grinned, gesturing an "x" over his chest. "Now, I believe I owe you two-hundred gold coins for those fine vegetables..."

* * *

Astrid carefully opened the front door of the farmhouse, sliding in unnoticed. She was about to make her way to her room, when Reiner wobbled into her view.

"You already been to Riften this morning?" Reiner spoke lazily, mid-yawn. Astrid looked him over, instantly seeing that he was suffering from his usual hangover. She mentally shrugged - now was as good a time as any, she reasoned.

"I wanted to get an early start. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, however." Astrid planted a false smile on her lips, holding up a sack of fifty gold coins in front of Reiner.

His eyebrows raised along with his interest in what was before him. "How much, girl?"

"Fifty today. Five times what I've been making." she replied confidently, handing him the pouch.

He held it up, a smirk forming on his features. Opening it, he verified that it was, indeed, very full. "Hmm...Seems morning hours are better for business. How much crop do you have left?" he asked, with Astrid seeing the wheels turning in his mind.

"I only brought a portion of it to town earlier. We certainly have enough left to bring to the market, if that's what you're asking..." Astrid answered, feeling happy with where the conversation was headed.

"This is what I want to see. Go again tomorrow morning and see if you can do the same." Reiner instructed, pulling a coin out and rubbing it greedily between his thumb and forefinger.

"Very well, then." Astrid smiled, heading up the stairs.

* * *

The frantic bellowing of cattle startled Astid from her slumber. The sound of the frightened herd seemed to be mixed with a melody of ominous growls and fierce roaring. She shot up in the bed, feeling her body tense from the disturbing sound of it all.

Slowly, she crept to the window, hearing the increasing volume of the chaos outside. Most of the cattle had huddled toward the back of Reiner's property, so she couldn't see anything. She could only hear the painful bellows of an unfortunate animal as it suffered.

"DAMN IT!" Reiner exploded from the hallway, apparently awakened by the situation as well. Astrid heard him clammer down the stairs, flinging open the front door.

What was this mysterious being that viciously attacked Reiner's livestock? He claimed it to be a pack of wolves, but Astrid had seen something else once, however breifly it was. It was alone, and it was very large in stature. It seemed to bring death and destruction wherever it went. Feeling her curiosity get the better of her, she quietly slipped out of the farmhouse and into the night.

She rounded the back of the property, seeing Reiner fuming amidst his herd in the dead of night. Intrigued, she crept across the field, approaching him.

"Not again! That blasted demon keeps coming back! I'd kill it myself, but it's too damned quick..." Reiner growled, balling his fists as he stood over the viciously torn body of one of his cattle.

Astrid traced her eyes over the animal's corpse, its blood dark and sparkling in the pale moonlight. Out of some strange impulse, she laid her hand on the bloodied animal, feeling the warm crimson collect between her fingers. This creature, whatever it may be, was very powerful. She could _feel_ it. "What did this?" she asked, somehow mystified by the gory scene in front of her.

Reiner sighed, in a rare moment of vulnerability. "I'd like to say it's a pack of wolves. I mean, that's what I tell people. It feels better to think a bunch of stupid animals are doing this rather than a feral beast of a man. It hurts my pride a bit less. I'm being outsmarted by a man, young Astrid. He's feeding for free - at my expense - and I don't like it! Bastard..." Reiner growled, kicking the dead form with misplaced rage.

"That lady you were with once..." Astrid began, interrupting Reiner's bout of anger. "She mentioned some sort of beast...It sounded as if she was speaking of a Werewolf...Is that true, then?"

"I'm afraid so. There's your bloody proof!" he spat, gesturing wildly toward the dead cow.

"How often does this happen?" Astrid asked, feeling curious as ever. She'd love to witness such a powerful being in action. Especially if it was destroying Reiner's property.

"Once or twice with each passing month. I plan to murder its arse if I can get to it quick enough..." he hissed, walking away from the scene. He turned to Astrid, who was staring a hole through the bloodied corpse. "You comin' in or not?" he snapped.

Astrid calmly walked behind Reiner, glancing over her shoulder to the glittering, bloodied animal carcass in the moonlight. For some deeply-hidden, mysterious reason, her heart began to beat wildy with exhilaration.


	8. Chapter 8: Willing

**A/N-** _Hey everyone, here's chapter 8! Sorry it's a bit late again. I had some medical issues this week, so it put me a bit off as far as getting my chapter out on time. However, anytime I am late posting a chapter, I will still try to post as soon as possible. Again, thanks a bunch for the follows/fav/reviews, and just stopping by to read! Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 8: Willing

"Alright, Miss Astrid," Delvin grinned broadly, handing Astrid her usual payment. "I thank you kindly for your services. My people will fetch your crops shortly. They know the drill."

"So...Are we going to do this?" she asked impatiently, feeling a bit eager to test her skills.

Over the past month, she'd frequented Riften quite often to meet with Delvin as they'd previously discussed. Astrid had been giving Reiner a better cut of her pay, and he'd remained blissfully unaware of her plight. Delvin had also been mentoring her in his profession, little by little, day by day. In the beginning, he simply let her observe him in action. He'd pickpocket or steal items in plain sight, allowing her to study the ways in which he'd remain inconspicuous and blend into crowds. Over time, she'd even picked a pocket or two herself. She had to admit, Delvin was a professional thief for a reason. The ease and fluid-like motion with which he operated was certainly something to be admired.

Astrid concluded that Delvin was somehow graceful in his own way. Sure, he wasn't refined in the way that aristocrats and well-mannered nobles often carried themselves. He was quite the opposite, really. Delvin was a scruffy young thief who delighted in being a criminal - and yet - the grace with which he moved when he worked was astounding.

There was something about _him_ that began to draw her in. He had no reason to be kind to her - to help her - and yet he did, all the same. For the first time in what seemed like forever, he had given her an inkling of hope. Granted, joining a band of theives wasn't exactly honorable or prestigious, but Astrid concluded that honor, prestige, and all things resembling them could kindly go to Oblivion. She'd also realized that Delvin's kindness was completely baffling to her. For some reason, she couldn't quite wrap her brain around the idea.

"Question is...Do ya think you're ready?" Delvin folded his arms, raising an eyebrow.

"You tell me. You're the instructor here." Astrid replied, smirking.

Delvin playfully scratched his head, pretending to doubt her. "Well...If you're not sure an' all..."

"Okay, okay...I want to. I'm ready to try." Astrid rolled her eyes, grinning.

"That's better, luv. Now, just follow me. I got the perfect job for you. It's a little cottage in the woods, not far from here. It's discreet and there ain't no guards to catch up to us in case things don't go as expected. As easy as it gets, really." Delvin explained, leading her out of town.

"I take it you don't expect things to go swimmingly, then..." Astrid muttered, feeling slightly less confident in hearing his blatant doubt in her abilities. Not that it wasn't warranted - she really had next to no experience. She wasn't quite sure why, but it did sting just a little.

"Oh, uh...Miss Astrid..." Delvin stumbled over his words, rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced at her over his shoulder. "It's not you, per se...I'm just takin' the necessary precautions."

Astrid sensed that Delvin really didn't mean to sound so doubtful, but that he actually was looking out for her. Why had she become so defensive - so insecure? Perhaps Reiner had gotten to her more than she'd realized. "I see...You don't have any faith in me, do you? I'm not one of your dumb tavern wenches, you know..." Astrid smirked playfully, attempting to tease him and lighten the mood.

Delvin stopped in his tracks, eyes wide and mouth pulled up in a startled grin. "Aye, you certainly aren't..." he chuckled nervously, apparently not expecting her response.

"So you _do_ have faith in me, then?" Astrid continued, a wicked smile forming on her lips.

"Aye, all the faith in Nirn," he smiled warmly, causing Astrid's own features to soften. "Now I believe it's time we rob an unsuspecting citizen, eh?"

* * *

"Here it is, luv." Delvin beamed proudly at the small cottage from behind a thicket. He watched as Astrid crept up from behind him to peer around the bushes. Her eyes seemed to narrow, scoping the place out for any threats. He half-grinned to himself, noticing how naturally sneaking came to the young woman. There had been many times in the past when Delvin had to scold new members who accompanied him on his jobs for wanting to haphazardly dart out into the open without using their heads. However, this girl seemed to instinctively be cautious and constantly thinking ahead.

Astrid grew quiet, silently studying before she finally turned to him. "So...Are we ready?"

"Almost..." Delvin spoke softly, digging through his leather pouch and pulling out some crumpled items of clothing. He held them out for Astrid, who gave him a confused look.

"What's all this?" she asked in a hushed tone, hesitantly taking the old garments.

"It's an old set of the guild's light armor, Miss Astrid. It ain't much, but you'll need to put it on before we go in there. You'll see that it has quite a few hidden pockets an' such. There's a hood with it, too. You'll need that as well. Don't want nobody seein' who you are, an' all. I tried to find ya some boots but this is all I could scrounge up, luv."

He watched as Astrid shot him a look. "And just where do you think I should take off my clothes?"

Delvin realized that he'd forgotten about that part. Oh well, he couldn't miss out on an opportunity to joke with her a bit. "Well, I certainly won't complain if you change here."

Astrid rolled her eyes, which Delvin found completely amusing. "Of course _you_ wouldn't. I mean it, Delvin..." she replied, her tone growing more serious.

He held up his hands innocently, chuckling. "Alright, luv. How 'bout I turn around an' close my eyes? I won't peek at you. I promise."

Astrid sighed, "Fine." She glared in his direction, twirling her finger at him in a command for him to do just that.

Obeying her, he turned and closed his eyes, listening to her shuffle out of her dress and into the old armor. "Okay. Finished." He heard her speak once more.

As he turned around and opened his eyes, he found that the armor fit Astrid quite nicely. Too nicely. As a matter of fact, he had to control his urge to gawk at the way it hugged her curves, accentuating them perfectly. He quickly moved his eyes up to meet her own, half-hidden under the hood.

"So?" Astrid gave him a questioning look.

"What?" Delvin mumbled, secretly fearing that she'd caught his wondering gaze.

"So...Are we ready now?" she asked impatiently, folding her arms across her chest.

"Oh, of course, Miss Astrid..." he answered, feeling a bit sheepish.

* * *

Delvin heard the door close quietly behind him, as he crouched low, scanning the inside of the home for threats. The dwelling was relatively small, with only one person occupying it. He was a middle-aged hunter, and he was fast asleep on a small bed in the corner.

His mind instantly reminding him of the rookie thief that accompanied him, he glanced cautiously over his shoulder. His eyes widened when Astrid wasn't behind him. Hearing another tiny click, his eyes darted to the sound. By Nocturnal, the girl had already picked the lock on a dresser! He grinned happily, watching Astrid gently pull open a drawer, sifting though its contents. Damn, she was a quick learner.

Mesmerized by her efficiency so early in her training, Delvin simply watched her in action. He looked on as a small, devious smile curved on her lips. She pulled out a small coin purse, quickly stuffing it in one of her many pockets. For a brief moment, her hazel eyes met with his, glimmering in the faint light emitted from the glowing fireplace. He nodded, signaling his approval, while watching her smile grow just a bit wider in response.

Finally tearing his eyes away, Delvin searched around a little, pocketing a few coins and a nice looking pelt. He wasn't interested in gaining many valuables for himself - he'd let her aquire as much of the loot as possible. She needed it more, anyway. He mainly wanted to appear busy to keep from staring too much. Delvin actually became uncomfortable, realizing how much he wanted to simply gaze at her.

He really couldn't understand why he felt so intrigued by her. It wasn't like he'd never seen an attractive woman before. He'd had plently of experiences with pretty ladies in the past. However, it wasn't just her appearance that pulled him in. There was something else about her - that mysterious, deep, fascinating part of her - that he'd never encountered before. Even when it came to the women in his profession, who were talented in the arts of the shadows, they didn't quite seem like _her._ Astrid moved instinctively, precisely, and in a predatory manner that Delvin found to be nothing short of a stalking Sabercat.

"Delvin..." he quickly whipped around, hearing her smooth, hushed voice behind him.

"Yeah?" he whispered, pulling himself away from his thoughts.

"I can't find anything else. I think we've searched everything, haven't we?" she crept closer, whispering in his ear.

"Yeah, luv. I think you're right. Let's make a break for it, eh?" he replied, slowly opening the front door and motioning for her to leave.

Astrid quickly nodded, silently bolting out the door and into the evening air as Delvin followed behind the enigmatic woman, secretly in awe of her presence.


	9. Chapter 9: Vulnerable

**A/N-** _Hello everyone! Here's chapter nine - hope you like it! As per usual, a big thanks goes out to all my readers out there!_

* * *

Chapter 9: Vulnerable

"Is it safe?" Astrid asked Delvin, who stood propped against a house in the dark alley, standing watch as she'd ducked into the shadows to change back into her usual attire. They'd been on a number of jobs together by now, and it had been the normal routine for one to stand watch as the other switched back into their peasant clothes.

"Aye, all clear, Miss Astrid." he answered, just out of her sight.

Stuffing her armor back into a satchel on her side, she darted out into the alleyway to join her comrade once more after they'd successfully burglarized a few of the local shops.

"You sure Reiner ain't gonna throw a fit over this?" Delvin asked, a wary look falling over his features. "It's already well into the night, luv."

"Believe me, I know my uncle. It was nearly dusk when I arrived here, and he'd been drinking all day. Most likely, he's sleeping with a bottle of skooma in his hand as we speak." Astrid replied, the thoughts of her uncle instantly churning her stomach.

"I know Miss Astrid, but the man is unpredictable. I just don't want him catching onto you. At least not until I have ya in my ranks, that is. Then the son of a bitch can explode all he wants. You'll have the protection of the guild by then. You'll be stayin' with me an' my people, and believe me, the bastard ain't settin' foot in there..." Delvin growled, leading her around the corner.

Astrid smiled to herself, feeling quite content that Delvin had become so concerned about her. Of course, she could very well take care of herself, but his kindness was a welcome and much-needed experience for her, however confusing it may have been. "Trust me, he's not awake right now. Besides, I'm tired of looking at him. I'd rather have a little peace away from his royal highness tonight..."

"Alright. Just promise me you'll get home before he wakes up, then?" Delvin asked, the sincerity in his voice causing Astrid to feel uneasy. It wasn't the same uneasy feeling that her dirtbag uncle gave her, but rather a strange feeling of vulnerability. It seemed to soften her frozen emotions in some mysterious way. She wasn't so sure she enjoyed that. Why was that happening in the first place?

Astrid sighed gently through her nose, giving in to his plea. "Fine. I promise. Happy now?" she smirked, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.

"Aye, that's better," Delvin grinned, holding the door to the Bee and Barb open as Astrid entered in front of him.

Astrid seated herself at a small table, with Delvin following suit. He promptly ordered two ales for them, before turning his attention back to Astrid. "So, I've mentioned you to the Guild Master. We're in need of new blood, and he's willin' to meet with you..." he began, as Astrid took a sip from her tankard. "It's really happenin', luv. You're more than experienced enough to pull off a beginner's job. Once he sees what you can do, you'll be one of us. You'll be away from that uncle of yours, livin' with me an' my lot in no time."

Astrid smiled quietly, glancing up at him as he spoke. She relaxed, scanning over his charming, crooked grin. His blue eyes seemed to be deeply fixated on her, so much so that she had to avert her own from his intense gaze. He was really quite handsome, she thought, noting his scruffy features. She also found him to be extremely gentlemanly and kind to her - aside from his occasional teasing or playfully lewd comment.

Pulling up her tankard for another drink, she mulled over things. He was _too_ kind to her, really - kind enough to make her begin to question things. Setting her drink back down, her eyes fixated on a small, dancing flame from the candle on their table. "Why?" she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"Huh?" she glanced up to see Delvin's own features twisted in a similar, baffled manner.

"Why are you doing all of this for me?" her gaze met his own again. She could feel her body grow tense, as if anticipating some hidden, dark secret to fall from his lips. Why else would a stranger enter into her life and treat her so well? Judging from her past life experiences, people didn't just do nice things for free, or at all, for that matter. Just what did the man want from her?

"I-I'm afraid I don't understand, Miss Astrid..." Delvin stammered, apparently caught off-guard. He certainly seemed suspicious. It was one thing to make a business deal with him, but what he'd been doing lately was far past the point of business.

"It's Astrid, _just_ Astrid." she stated coldly, feeling her body bristle under the weight of her racing thoughts. What was he up to? Why did it take her so long to notice his odd behavior? "Tell me. Why are you doing all of this for me? I've done absolutely nothing to help you, and yet you keep doing all these ludicrous favors for me. What do you want from me, Delvin?"

The expression of shock and subtle pain on Delvin's features instantly sent a pang of hurt through Astrid's chest. He sincerely looked _...innocent_. Of course, he couldn't be innocent - he was a criminal. Or could he? Why did she feel so confused? So defensive? So full of panic?

"Uh...Miss Astrid, I-I just..." he stuttered, causing the fine hairs on her neck to stand on end.

"It's Astrid," she repeated, with ice in her voice.

"Oh, uh, right...Astrid. Well...I really just thought I'd like to..." Delvin mumbled, running a hand through his short hair.

"Like to what?" Astrid spat, her words as sharp as knives.

"Alright, already!" Delvin finally cracked, slamming a frustrated hand on the table and causing their drinks to spill over. Astrid merely glared. He was up to something. "I wanted to spend some time with ya, damn it! Is that some sort of crime?! For gods' sakes, woman! You're interrogating me like I've been plottin' on killin' ya or somethin'!"

"...What?" Astrid froze, feeling a mixture of confusion, shock, and feeling like the biggest moron in all of Nirn.

"By the gods, woman! Didn't ya know I fancied ya?! Just a little? Am I that terrible at wooin' a female? For the love of Mara...I never..." Delvin wiped his hand down his face, completely exasperated. With each word he spoke, Astrid was sure she'd shrunk just a little more in size. By the time he sighed, giving her the most miserable look she'd ever seen a man produce, she felt about the size of a torchbug.

"You...feel that way...about...me?" Astrid asked, her voice low and hushed.

"Yes, damn it! Why not? Is it some sort of crime?" Delvin snapped defensively, causing Astrid to wince slightly.

"No, it's just that I...thought you...I mean, I didn't understand why you..." Astrid found the tables being turned, as her own words were having trouble falling from her lips.

"Oh I see...You thought I was gonna do somethin' to hurt you, eh?" he spoke, his voice finally falling quiet after practically the whole tavern watched their little spat.

Astrid looked at his expression, which had fallen from anger to something more subtle, but also a bit more painful - disappointment. He was hurt. Astrid stared at him, speechless and wide-eyed.

"It's true, ain't it?" he paused, waiting for her to admit her fault. After a long moment of silence, he gave in. "Look, if I was gonna screw you over, it would have been about two thousand gold coins ago. I ain't that son of a bitch Reiner..."

"...I'm...sorry..." Astrid finally spoke softly, feeling her thick, protective walls fall down. She felt the warm trail of a solitary tear fall down her cheek. Why? Why was she coming so undone?

She looked on as Delvin sighed defeatedly. This was probably the part where he would leave and tell her to piss off, Astrid figured. "Look, I know ya had a rough way to go...You still do. I know that bastard mistreats ya. I ain't stupid, Astrid. I know what it can do to ya bein' treated like that. You don't trust a soul, do ya?"

Feeling put on the spot, Astrid slowly shook her head "no", sighing.

"Well you can trust me, damn it! Just think about it, will ya? Would I really go outta my way to train you? Would I really worry whether or not that slimy bugger will beat you half to death if ya piss him off? I may be a thief, but I ain't bloody heartless. I'm tryin' to help you..." Delvin explained, his demeaner somewhat calmer, but still seeming quite frustrated.

Astrid swallowed hard, trying to find the right words to say before he got up and walked out on her. It wouldn't be the first time a man walked out of her life. Hopefully, if he stormed away, she'd be used to that scenario enough to cope. Hopefully.

"You-you're right. I'm normally not this...crazy. I'm just not used to..."

"What? A man bein' good to you for a change? Treatin' you like a woman?" he interrupted, his voice still stern, but much softer than before.

"Well...yeah..." Asrid shrugged, staring into her tankard. She hadn't felt this vulnerable in years. Whatever defenses she'd had in place, this man had torn down in a matter of moments. Strangely enough, through all the confusion and pain, she felt gratitude.

"Well you'd better get used to it, Astrid. You're stuck with me now." he smirked cunningly, causing Astrid's brow to raise in awe. He wasn't going to tell her to piss off? "I ain't gonna let nothin' hurt you, understand?"

Astrid smiled, feeling uncharacteristically sheepish. She nodded quietly, taking a large gulp of her alcohol in an attempt to numb the strange, raw feeling she had developed inside. It was as if some mysterious flood gate of suppressed emotions, memories, and fears had opened inside of her in an instant. It was a rather painful, sobering experience - too sobering for her liking. At least, through the whirlwind of emotions inside of her, the gratitude remained.

"Besides, luv, I just told my Guild Master you were showin' up soon. I can't go back on my word now, can I?" he grinned.


	10. Chapter 10: Grateful

**A/N-** _Greetings_ _everyone! Thanks so much for the follows/fav/reviews! You guys rock! Here's chapter 10 - hope you like it!_

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Chapter 10: Grateful

"Now, how long do you think ole' Reiner will be out?" Delvin asked, ignoring the irritated barmaid who approached them. The woman sighed, wiping away puddles of spilled ale resulting from their previous, attention-drawing conversation. Delvin decided to purposely ignore the tavern full of gawking spectators, as well.

"That drunkard won't be waking up until noon tomorrow. He never does." Astrid stated, as Delvin grinned at her response.

He looked into her hazel eyes, noting how they remained a bit glassy from previous, unwanted tears. He knew he should probably be angry with Astrid for her accusing tone, but instead Delvin was left feeling deeply sympathetic. The poor girl had hit a dead-end by the time that he had come along. Apparently, she'd been hurt so many times that she'd come to expect it from everyone - and he was no exception. Strangely, if anything, his feelings for her began to grow after seeing her in such a tormented state. Perhaps their little spat wasn't the most peaceful of events, but it did help him understand the mysterious woman a bit further. The brief moment during their heated debate that Astrid was sincere and revealing to him had made everything quite clear. Delvin realized that she had honestly, truly been confused by his kindness toward her. Astrid had been baffled, fearing his true intentions. Well, he certainly hoped that he'd cleared things up for her now.

"Why do you ask?" Astrid inquired, this time her voice holding no signs of defensiveness, only curiosity.

"Because it's too late for you to be travelin' home in the dark. Why don't you just stay the night with me, eh?" he smiled, hoping she'd not get the wrong idea about him. Sure, he'd love to do certain _things_ with her. Any man would with a woman like her, he mused. Of course, he wasn't expecting that from Astrid - he merely enjoyed having her around.

"Where? I thought I wasn't allowed to stay with the guild until I became one of them." Astrid asked, with Delvin noting that it wasn't a flat-out 'no'.

"Why, here o'course! No need in you leavin' Riften during these hours. Whaddya say, luv?" he inquired hopefully.

Astrid smiled, shrugging nonchalantly. "I don't see why not."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Miss Astrid. I truly didn't realize that none o' these rooms had two beds. I live here an' all, but I never stay at the inn. I just don't want ya to think-"

"It's Astrid, Delvin. Just Astrid." she interrupted, watching his expression grow worried from her words. Perhaps he feared that she'd begin questioning him again.

"I-I'm sorry, luv. Force of habit, that's all..." he replied, apologetically.

"No, I'm not angry. It's just that you don't have to call me 'miss'. You can drop the formalities, okay? We are friends, after all." Astrid smirked, watching his expression grow to match her own.

"Very well, Astrid. If you say so..." Delvin continued, dropping his possessions on a nearby endtable. "Like I said, I didn't know about the bed thing. If you like, I can sleep on the floor. I won't bother ya or anything."

Astrid began to feel her heart beat a bit quicker. This man really was a gentleman - the first one she'd come across in her short lifetime. If anything, his demeanor made her feel the impulse to tell him to do just the opposite of sleeping on the floor. So, she simply went with the impulse. "Nonsense." she stated bluntly, suddenly feeling flushed by the pleasant surprise of Delvin's features. "I won't have you sleeping on the floor." she demanded, sitting on the edge of the bed and patting the empty space next to her.

"You sure?"

"Certain." Astrid answered, watching him apprehensively crawl upon the bed with a wary look on his face. She was certain that if she made any sudden movements that he'd hit the ceiling at any given moment. It was rather endearing, really. It was as if he was intimidated by her in some unknown way.

She noticed the hush that fell over him as he crawled under the fur blankets, now gazing at nothing in particular. "Are you okay?" she asked, curiousity getting the best of her.

"I care about ya, luv. How 'bout you tell me if I should leave you alone or not. Like I said, you're stuck with me, cause of the guild an' all, but I won't harass you just cause I fancy ya." he stated bluntly, cutting right to the point. Somehow, Astrid found that even more endearing. Gods, he was so kind, so considerate, and handsome to boot.

"Are you asking me if I'm interested in you?" Astrid returned the bluntness, feeling happy with the ease at which they were now communicating. He simply gazed at her, nodding slowly, completely fixated on nothing else but her. It was strangely overwhelming in the best of ways. Her heart began to thump rapidly in her chest, as she felt a sudden rush of sweet intoxication run through her veins. Somehow, Delvin fit nicely into the empty space inside of her. He filled the void, and deep down that made her feel safe and at ease.

Delvin began to look unsure of himself as Astrid remained silent, bound up by her rampant thoughts and overwhelming mix of emotions. "Look, luv, if you don't feel the same way, I won't bug ya, like I sai-"

Astrid heard a muffled grunt of pleasant surprise as she let go of her inhibitions, kissing him passionately. Internally, she felt elated, watching his eyes grow wide with surprise as he began to reciprocate her affection. She felt his arms gently wrap around her, pulling her into him.

With each soft kiss, each gentle touch, she felt the world slip away, if only for that moment. Life had been hard, cold, and apathetic to her - and yet - _he_ wasn't. Delvin was a good man, and she needed that - _wanted_ that more than anything. With him, she didn't have to be so defensive and calculated. She realized that now.

As they tangled into each other, breath for breath, touch for touch, she vaguely felt a soft spot inside herself open up to him. Delvin was right - he wasn't Reiner, and he wasn't her good-for-nothing father, either. Not at all. He was a shady, criminal pillar of hope to cling to in a world where righteousness was futile and heroines like her mother were slaughtered like sheep for the taking. In a world where vile, putrid creatures like Reiner were allowed to roam free, and where the god's were surely punishing Astrid by forcing her to exist alongside a creature such as him.

As the two became one, her gaze pierced deeply into his blue eyes. Delvin wanted to take her away from it all. He wanted her to be free - away from the cruelty of those who were supposed to love her. She kissed him forcefully, never once allowing her eyes to close. Astrid wished she could see into him - into what possessed him to care for her. In the dark, hidden recesses of her mind, she'd been terrified of the fact that she believed herself to be truly damaged and unlovable to the fullest extent. However, despite her deeply ingrained beliefs, Delvin saw fit to care for her - to save her.

Their lips parted, with their worlds colliding and shattering together, Delvin taking in deep breaths of air from their time spent intwined. He gazed into her eyes, unwavering. A sly, content smile spread across Astrid's lips. Maybe - just _maybe_ she had a future, after all...

* * *

Delvin watched the first traces of sunlight kiss Astrid's face. He smiled contently, watching her sleep peacefully. She looked divinely beautiful covered in the warmth of morning, he thought to himself. Astrid - a beautiful, magnetic mystery, he mused. There, slumbering quietly and with no traces of pain or heartbreak on her features, she appeared almost _fragile_ to Delvin.

His heart ached for her - for the pain he'd witnessed when she became confused and distrustful of him. He quickly began to realize that the cool exterior was her armor - to shield that frightened, emotional girl from the harsh reality of her existence. The young woman he'd made love to last night wasn't aloof or apathetic in the least. She was deep, passionate, intoxicating, and seemed to deeply appreciate him. In short, she was perfection.

Delvin sighed, realizing with frustration that he needed to wake his slumbering lover, ensuring that she returned home before that son of a bitch woke up. He gently brushed a wild strand of hair away from her eyes, "Astrid..."

In a slow, beautiful motion, much like a butterfly's wings fluttering in the wind, her glimmering hazel eyes opened, bringing her consciousness back into the world. "Delvin...Is it morning already?" she asked, her voice low, gentle, and breathy in a way that made his heart skip a beat.

"Afraid so, luv." he replied, regretfully.

She sighed, placing a frustrated hand on her forehead, while staring blankly at the ceiling. Before his eyes, Delvin watched Astrid's exterior harden once more, preparing for the icy gale of reality waiting for her at the farmhouse.

"I guess I'd better get out of here, then. His majesty will be grumpy from the hangover. He'll have my head if I don't have his breakfast prepared..." she grumbled, clearly dreading being in her uncle's presence.

The mere thought of Reiner began to make Delvin's blood boil. He quickly grabbed Astrid by the wrist as she began getting out of bed, causing her to stop in her tracks. "You let me know if that bloke touches a hair on your head." he spoke, his voice low and threatening.

And for a brief moment, the fragile, emotional, young thing was back, gazing softly into Delvin's eyes. "Thank you." Astrid breathed, almost too softly for Delvin's ears to register.

She was absolutely perfect, Delvin reiterated to himself. Absolutely. Perfect.


	11. Chapter 11: Perplexed

**A/N-** _Hello and a_ _big thanks to my readers out there, as usual. Here's chapter 11, hope you guys enjoy it! See you next week!_

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Chapter 11: Perplexed

Astrid sat underneath a large tree in front of the farmhouse, gazing at the well in the distance. She felt the bittersweet sadness of the moment. She had saved up a few thousand gold coins from thieving and selling vegetables. She'd also begun a new chapter in her life with a man wanting to make it all better, and yet she still had to finish her prison sentence with Reiner before her plans could come to fruition. She sighed, closing her eyes and feeling the caress of the cold morning air.

The front door of the farmhouse creaked open, yanking Astrid from her thoughts, as Reiner wobbled out of it. He narrowed his blood-shot eyes, protecting them from the intruding sunlight, while lazily scratching his head. "I see you've done a bit better this time, young Astrid. Seventy-three gold - that's a bit more than usual, eh?" he questioned, somehow attempting to make small talk with her. For some reason he wasn't being an ass, and that in and of itself was truly baffling.

Astrid sighed internally, feeling an aching spot where Delvin's presence used to be. "Yeah...Business is certainly picking up, uncle..." she spoke softly, feeling defeated at the moment. Was her heart actually aching for the presence of her thief?

"I enjoyed the breakfast, young Astrid. You did good." Reiner said awkwardly, still scratching his head as he clumsily walked over to her.

Astrid could feel her face falling slack with his attempts at being civil. Had Reiner lost his mind? Had he contracted some fatal illness while she'd been away? What in Oblivion was he up to? Unlike Delvin, she had every right to question her uncle's motives.

"Did Nona teach you how to cook?" Reiner asked curiously, seating himself beside her under the old tree. Now Astrid was truly bewildered.

Her heart already aching, she gazed off in the distance, feeling her eyes glass over. "Mother taught me everything..." she answered quietly.

"Heh. Figured so..." Reiner mumbled, staring at the ground. He seemed to be lost in a far off, forgotten place in time. "Nona was quite the cook, herself."

"The best," Astrid's lips curved up in a tiny half-smile. Her mother - that faint, glimmering, divine being who the world so cruelly snuffed out like a candle in a storm. "She was the best at everything, really..." she continued, feeling her heart break a little more with each word. "She shouldn't have died. She didn't deserve it..." Even her own animosity toward her mother's submissive nature couldn't be matched by the fact that she still loved her very deeply. Somewhere in the dark, shattered places in her heart, her mother's life hadn't been forgotten.

"No, she didn't..." Reiner replied, barely above a whisper. "Our bastard father needed to go long before she did..."

"What?" Astrid's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Isn't he dead, too?"

"I dunno...He accompanied some bandits on a raid one day and never returned. It was years ago. Good riddance, I'd say. I'd presume he's dead by now, anyway. That is, if he didn't die on his little mission. He was a mean son of a bitch. He treated our Ma' like a damned slave till the day she died. He beat on me day in and day out. He said girls were useless, so he didn't even bother with Nona. Then he wondered what made me such an arse...Heh..."

Astrid listened intently, taking it all in. "Why did she leave? Why did she run off with an asshole like my father?"

Reiner gazed off in the distance, his features growing sober and still. "...She said she couldn't take it anymore. By that time, Ma' was dead and buried and Nona was stuck with us. I didn't want her to go. For Talos' sake, she was the only one who made it tolerable here. Pa' would come home drunk, beat the damned daylights outta me, and then Nona..." Reiner stopped abruptly, turning his face away from Astrid's view. "She just happened to be there...Pa' was a bloody monster, and then I was...I can't say I blame her...This place was a prison...Still is, really..."

Astrid suddenly felt every muscle in her body tense, every hair bristle, and a blanket of ice fell over her, chilling her to the bone. There was something terrible in those vague traces of her mother's past - something dark, freezing, and altogether terrifying. Astrid could feel it - _see it_ \- on her uncle's face.

"Your mother never knew a good man, so she left with another bloody prick. Out of the kettle and right back into the fire, eh?" he spat, seeming bitter about her mother's choice to leave.

A long period of deathly silence fell between them, as Astrid tried calming down the flood of terror racing through her mind. This life of terror - of cruelty - went back for seemingly generations. Monsters had bred yet more monsters to feed upon the innocent and unwitting victims of her existence, including her mother.

"I know I ain't good to you, young Astrid." Reiner commented, abruptly, completely shocking her. Was that some sort of half-baked apology? Or, was it simply an observation? Was there a tiny chance in the plane of Nirn that he was attempting to finally get along with her? Perhaps Delvin was right in more ways than one about Reiner's profit increase.

Feeling a tiny flicker of hope, Astrid attempted to lighten the mood. Maybe it would work to her advantage until she could leave. "Join the crowd, uncle." she smirked playfully. She could certainly be amicable, if it worked to serve her purpose.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it..." Reiner grumbled, not completely serious. It seemed to be working well enough. "Look, I need to ask a big favor of you tonight..."

Astrid nearly gasped, "Since when do you ask for anything? Wow, uncle...I had no idea you could be tolerable..." She then chuckled, unable to contain her surprise. Much to her disbelief, things were starting to look up for a change. First, Delvin and the guild, and now Reiner was being civilized of all things?

"Yeah, well there's a lot of things about me you don't know, dear niece..." his voice turned a bit icy again, but he quickly remained composed, attempting to keep the mood in its lightened state. "Just don't go double-crossin' me or anything and we'll be square. I won't bark orders at you no more unless you give me no choice. If you go against me, though, all that'll change real damn quick, understand?" Reiner glared, completely losing the warmth of the conversation.

His expression was cold and nearly emotionless, leaving Astrid to cautiously nod in agreement. "So...What is it you need?" she asked, still apprehensive about the whole thing.

"A group of my clients are coming over tonight. I need you to prepare a feast and serve them. They'll be buying an arse load of my weapons, and I'm hoping to make a hardy chunk of coin off of 'em." A slimy grin traced his lips, and Astrid could taste the greed emanating from his voice.

"You aren't going to add poison as the secret ingredient again, are you?" Astrid remarked, before even thinking. She had to admit, she wasn't exactly used to the thought of sparing Reiner's feelings for the sake of getting along. She'd have to remember to work on that.

Reiner shot her a look, but then quickly retained his composure. "That would be a fool's errand this time, young Astrid." he answered, while Astrid remembered that the last attempt was just as foolish in her opinion. "There's too many of 'em this time. If some grew ill and died, while others didn't, they'd realize what I was doin' and come back for me."

Astrid paused for a moment, feeling dread well up inside of her. There would be a lot of criminals and ruffians around her in the near future, and she didn't like the thought of that one bit. Of course, she knew good and well that she had no choice in the matter. "Very well, uncle. I'll start working on it in a few hours," she glanced at him, truly baffled and unnerved by how calm and controlled he seemed at the moment, "if that is alright..."

Reiner shrugged casually. "I don't see why not." With that, he promplty stood up, leaving her alone to her thoughts once more.

Astrid looked up into the bright, brilliant sun and the clear sky overhead. If a person didn't know any better, they would think it to be a warm spring day in Skyrim. However, no matter how sunny and bright things seemed, Astrid felt the truth of the season in the icy wind that blew about her, causing her to chill. The same could be said for her life, she reasoned. However bright and optimistic things seemed at the moment, she couldn't ignore the icy chill that crawled up her spine, resting just beneath the surface of her consciousness.


	12. Chapter 12: Dreadful

**A/N:** _Hi everyone! Thanks to all my readers out there and thanks to everyone who followed/fav/reviewed thus far! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'll see you guys again next week!_

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Chapter 12: Dreadful

Astrid wiped the sweat from her brow, finishing the second pot of stew in time for her uncle to inspect it. She seated herself, drinking a cool tankard of water to ease her fatigue and dehydration. Reiner grabbed the ladle eagerly, taking a gulp of the stew and cursing loudly when it scorched his mouth. It was as if he was completely unaware that hot stew had that effect on one's insides. Astrid wanted to laugh, but stuck with a slight smirk to keep their newfound truce afloat.

"Is it any good, uncle?" Astrid asked, trying her best not to chuckle as she spoke.

"Damned good, young Astrid. Maybe even better than the first pot. We won't force it on them this time. If they want any, just serve 'em and be hospitable, alright?" he explained, being civil and of good manner for once. Astrid had to admit, this was a foreign concept to her. Reiner and manners just didn't seem to go together, but she was grateful he'd stopped being an all-out tyrant. "Anything that butters them up will only prove to sweetin' the deal." he grinned deviously, rubbing his grimy hands together.

Suddenly, various shouts and conversations could be heard outside. Astrid immediately tensed, hoping against hope that nothing terrible would happen with all those criminals loose on Reiner's property. Not that she had anything personal against criminals - she practically was one. It was the fact that they were associated with the likes of her uncle that made her skin crawl. Even the Thieves' Guild wanted nothing to do with Reiner, and that was saying something.

Reiner dropped the ladle back into the kettle with an abrupt "clink", while swiftly bolting out the door. Astrid immediately stood, nervously straightening the crinkled fabric of her work dress, waiting for whatever unpleasant scenario awaited her.

She hesitantly approached the open front door, catching a glimpse of the twin moons high in the night sky. Bandits, most of which were rough, gritty looking men of various races, were in the process of vacating two large caravans. They spread across the front of the property like a fast-traveling plague, causing Astrid to feel quite edgy.

Reiner stood, grinning like a madman, while speaking to a large bandit chief of Orcish descent. The other groups of men and women whooped and bellowed out, raising bottles of Skooma and various other alcoholic beverages. This was not pleasant in the least, Astrid quickly decided.

"Astrid, come here!" Reiner called to her, motioning for her to quickly meet the large, intimidating leader. Astrid timidly approached the two men, feeling like a small, awkward child approaching the Emperor of Tamriel. She swallowed hard, hearing various lewd remarks and whistles coming from certain individuals among the rowdy lot as she passed by them.

When she finally stood beside her uncle, he swiftly snaked an arm around her shoulder, causing her to cringe. "This is my young niece, Astrid. She'll be happy to serve your people if need be." he smiled merrily, putting forth his best attempt to appear accomodating.

"Uh...Nice to meet you..." Astrid choked out, feeling completely idiotic about the whole ordeal.

The large chief nodded dismissively, rounding up many of his companions to deal with her uncle. Astrid did notice, however, that many of the bandits, perhaps of lesser status within the group, had chosen to wait outside. She watched them warily, as they began to break apart into smaller groups, snooping about the property.

It was at that moment, that Astrid nearly retched from the anxiety that made its way through her being. Her eyes watched in horror as a group followed the small trail leading to the defunct old well. Surely they wouldn't look, would they? What was she thinking, of course they would! They were _bandits_!

"Come along, niece! There are hungry folk needing served!" Reiner called, waving her inside. Of all the people in Skyrim, Reiner certainly couldn't know about her hidden stash of coin. She'd just have to hope against hope that those scoundrels would take her loot without him noticing. Even if all her earnings were to vanish in vain at the hands of some greedy thieves, Astrid knew that coin could always be earned again when she became part of the guild. Delvin would certainly help her out. Her life however, had no do-overs, and she wasn't so sure what Reiner would do to her if he knew what she'd been doing behind his back. The man was dangerous and unpredictable, and his small bout of polite behavior didn't deter from the fact that he could still snap at any given moment. That much Astrid knew for certain.

"Young maiden, I'd like another helping of this fine stew." the large, fierce Orc motioned toward his empty bowl. Astrid timidly nodded, gripping his wooden bowl with a trembling hand. She nearly spilled the broth on the floor, resulting from attempting to fill the bowl with such frayed nerves.

"H-here you go, sir..." she briefly bowed her head, as she glanced to Reiner, who seemed to be overjoyed with the situation.

He'd just finished his large transaction with the ruffians, and she could tell from the look on his greedy face that he'd made a hefty sum. Even more, he seemed to be pleased by Astrid's submissive actions this time around. Little did he know that her behavior wasn't because of wanting to please him or the buffoons who scarfed down every bit of her food, but it was due to the fact that she was fearful that something awful was about to happen.

When she wasn't being called on to perform some mundane task, she simply stood, head lowered, glaring out the front window. Astrid gasped in disbelief as she witnessed a fight emerge at the old well. This was it, she thought. They've found it. So much for things looking up.

She drew a shaky breath, as the chief, who couldn't be bothered with such distractions, ordered one of his lessers to take care of the situation. Astrid could only hope that it would be taken care of out of Reiner's sight. Unfortunately for her, it wasn't.

"I'll go with you, if you need any assistance." Reiner added politely, as the lesser bandit nodded quickly, apparently in need of said assistance.

"But uncle!" Astrid remarked hysterically, catching Reiner's attention just in time to stop him from bounding out the door. "Are you sure it's of good manner to leave our chief with no company?" she asked, hoping to coerce him into staying. She needed something - _anything_ \- no matter how weak and pathetic the argument.

"It is fine, maiden. Carry on." the Orc waved dismissively, taking another indulgent bite of stew.

Reiner gave her a confused look before continuing out the door. Astrid, full of adrenaline and horror, ran after him as the world crumbled before her eyes.

Astrid knew, in that instant, that everything had shifted. The fates had aligned and made their decision - and punishment would surely be cast down upon her. She froze, watching time bend and slow with her consciousness.

Pale moonlight rained down on two vicious, dangerous men who were ready to murder each other over a small lockbox. A small, quite heavy lockbox filled to the brim with various coinpurses. One of Astrid's personal safes, out of the many she had hidden by now. Sure it wasn't _all_ of her small fortune, but it was enough to speak the truth of what was happening before Reiner's narrowing eyes.

Stricken dumb, Astrid watched as Reiner and the other bandit pulled the warring comrades apart. Astrid noted how Reiner flung the large bandit with ease, and feared how much easier it would be to fling her in much the same way.

Finally giving in to the ruckus outside, the chief walked out of the front door, approaching the men slowly. "What is the meaning of all this? Speak now...Explain yourselves..." he ordered his inferiors, his voice gravelly and threatening.

Astrid watched as the chief eyed the lockbox, which now lay open on the gound, surrounded by shiny coins glinting in the night. Her wide, terrified eyes slowly moved to meet with her uncle's. The deathly way in which his eyes had narrowed on her froze her in place. His features seemed to completely harden, as Astrid caught a tiny glimpse of the full monster hiding just underneath his seething surface.

"It wasn't me, boss. Honest! Viktor took it out! I tried to put it back, I swear!" the smaller bandit cowered like a scolded child.

"LIAR!" the larger bandit yelled, nearly foaming at the mouth.

"Enough! Give the man his coin and be done with it. We have obtained what we came here for. We have enough enemies in Skyrim, and we don't need to beg for another. Now, go! We must return to our hideout before daybreak." the chief demanded, as the crowd of ruffians cleared the area immediately. He then turned to Reiner. "My apologies. I hope this doesn't sever our bartering."

Astrid trembled as a feral smiled painted itself across Reiner's mouth. "No, quite the contrary...Here, take it..." he said calmly, handing the remaining coin to the chief. His eyes met Astrid's for a brief moment, narrowing ever so slightly as if to silently tell her she was done for. She swallowed hard, instinctively edging away from the imminent danger in front of her.

"Astrid!" Riener called out sharply - enough to sting her ears.

"Y-yeah?" she whimpered, terrified.

"It's rude to leave without being dismissed. Now be cordial to the chief." he spoke low, and calm, his head lowered in a way that made Astrid even shakier.

"N-nice to meet you sir..." she spoke, her voice soft and thin from the fierce tightness claiming her throat.

The large Orc briefly aknowledged her before taking the heavy lockbox and leaving with the caravans. As the last carriage rolled out of sight, Astrid turned to see Reiner's predatory glare. His features appeared wicked from the shadows cast by the moonlight.

Reiner took a step forward, as Astrid instinctively stepped back. Their eyes met, neither turning from the other's intense stare - one from volatile anger, and the other from sheer terror. After what seemed like a thousand years passed between them, Reiner moved his lips slowly. "Get out of my sight..." he growled.

Astrid nearly bolted for the woods, but knew he'd become even more furious, and she didn't want to end up in the ground anytime soon. Hot tears now brimming in her eyes, she fled up to her room, slamming the door shut and locking it, knowing good and well that Reiner could kick it down and bust her head open at any moment. What had she done? Why did she ever move in with him? Why had her mother died, leaving her to be fed to the monster she herself had fled from?!

Eerie silence filled the farmhouse all thoughout the night, leaving Astrid on edge to the point of insanity. Every creak of the floorboard, every piece of lumber shifting in the old house, and every creature stirring outside had triggered complete panic inside of her.

She found herself sobbing uncontrollably at one point, steeped in pain and longing for Delvin - her one protector, who couldn't protect her now. It was only after a long and intense bout of weeping, that she had tired herself out enough to finally succumb to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13: Terrified

**A/N:** _Hello there! Here's chapter 13, hope you guys like it! As per usual, a big thanks to all my readers and all who have followed/fav/reviewed! Much appreciated! Have a good weekend folks, and I'll see you again next time!_

* * *

Chapter 13: Terrified

It was just before the break of dawn. The sun still hung dormant beneath the horizon, when the front door of the farmhouse slammed forcefully enough to cause Astrid to spring out of her bed in fear. She only had one thought - one person - that came to mind. _Reiner_. He was home, and she was living on borrowed time.

Her every muscle tensing, she crept to the door, pressing her ear against it to listen to his movements. Perhaps he'd guzzled enough alcohol to pass out and leave her alone to live for another day. Upon hearing his frantic stumbling and misguided footsteps, she realized that he wasn't hitting the floor any time soon. Astrid then decided that the gods had, indeed, chosen to punish her to the fullest extent.

Astrid winced, hearing the sound of glass shatter against a nearby wall. Things weren't going well for her - _at all_. The steps became more frenzied, more irate, and more unpredictable. Astrid's every muscle drew tight, her every hair rose, and her mouth felt as dry as the sands of Hammerfell. She jerked, slightly startling as a small, black spider scurried out from under the door, probably fleeing from the approaching chaos on the other side.

Before she could completely comprehend or act on any impulses, it was too late. The door flew open, forcefully kicked from the opposing side. The heavy wood hit Astrid square in the jaw, knocking her to the floor. She cringed from the initial pain, tasting fresh blood in her mouth.

She shrieked, seeing Reiner's menacing silhouette in the darkness. The smell of alcohol and blood reeked in the air, penetrating what used to be the only safe room in the farmhouse. The light of day was still waiting to rise, filling her room with dark, twisted shadows, both dancing and delighting in her torment.

"Lyin' little bitch..." Reiner growled, his voice deep and heavy with intoxication.

A sharp, crushing pain filled her side as he kicked her with full force, making a stifled gasp fall from Astrid's trembling lips. Hot tears stung her cheeks in the icy darkness that had become her reality.

"No! Please!" she begged, but her cries fell mercilessly upon deaf ears.

"I told you not to cross me! You've been takin' me for a fool!" he yelled, turning and violently kicking an endtable over. Its contents spilled upon the floor beside Astrid's writhing body, scattering like the racing thoughts through her mind.

"Please...don't..." Astrid wailed, waiting for the moment when she'd cease to exist. It was only now that she completely realized the magnitude of the monster before her. Astrid knew the man was dangerous, but only now did she truly, _truly_ see.

"Get up!" Reiner spat, kicking her square in the ribs, as she whimpered defenselessly.

Still begging for her life, Astrid held onto her her throbbing abdomen, standing as best she could. She could barely muster more than a crouch, given the pain she was experiencing. Reiner grabbed her by the collar of her dress, pulling her to eye-level and causing a scream to burst from her lips.

"How long have you been doin' this, Astrid?" he growled from between clenched, grimy teeth. The smell of alchohol on his breath was strong enough for her to nearly vomit.

"I...don't...know..." she sobbed pitifully, feeling like a helpless child.

"HOW LONG?!" he yelled furiously, his saliva hitting her face and causing her to wince, mixing with her tears.

"A...while...Oh gods...I'm sorry...Please don't kill me...please..." she weeped, becoming hysterical, all the while feeling like the world would open up and swallow her whole before she'd come out of this alive.

"SHUT UP!" Reiner spat, and Astrid saw stars. Billions upon billions of stars as broad and expansive as the plane of Mundus began to fill her vision, her mind, and her physical being. Blow by blow, she started to grow numb as her body began to succumb to the unconscious realm.

"No...no..." her sobs began to fade out, as she heard the final words fall from Reiner's vile, wretched lips.

"Nona, you little bitch! I'll murder you if you do it again!"

"Wh...at?" Astrid mumbled, before sinking into endless darkness.

A predatory, desperate, and vengeful thought had flickered through Astrid's mind just before the world gave way to the black abyss of nothingness:

 _I'm not Nona. If I live through this, I'll make sure you remember that._

* * *

The pounding of her heart in her ears had somehow pulled Astrid back into the world of the living. Every ounce of her energy was required just to open her eyes. She blinked a few times, attempting to straighten out the blurry world before her.

Then it had dawned on her: she was alive. She sighed, relieved that she hadn't faded away for good. Her relief was brief however, for it was cut short by copious amounts of pain and terrifying memories of what had rendered her unconscious in the first place.

Feeling the cold, unforgiving floor beneath her, she tried desperately to sit upright. Her body, both extremely weak and reeling from pain, barely complied with her demands. Sitting had never been so difficult in all her years of existence. She felt dizzy, fearing she'd go out again. She nearly retched from the nausea-inducing rush of blood pooling to her lower regions.

It was then that her eyes gazed across her arms, noting deep, purple bruises where Reiner had grabbed and shaken her. She winced, stifling back unwanted tears from the very memory of it all. After Astrid reasoned that she'd gained some semblance of equilibrium, she stood on wobbly legs, nearly falling to the floor.

One unstable foot in front of the other, she willed herself over to her mother's old vanity to inspect the full range of damage he'd dealt. Seeing her own battered reflection was like looking at some unfamiliar, undead corpse.

Astrid's lip trembled, seeing her swollen face, blackened eyes, and busted lip. Her neck was painted with brown bruises that seemed to trail down a bit. Reiner had spoken the truth - he was a monster. He was a hungry, feral beast that her mother had offered her to like a bloody sacrifice.

Apparently the bright sunshine from before had grown too much for the clear skies to bear, sending them crashing straight down on Astrid's skull. Her faint hopes, childlike wishes, false security, and vain dreams were all a stupid facade - a bright color from the deceitful paintbrush hiding the grim scene beneath. The warmth of the sun only filled a beaming sky for so long until it was forced to set, allowing the terror of night to burst forth. Darkness. That was her reality.

* * *

The day seemed too real and far too infinite. Astrid laid on her back, staring vacantly at the ceiling. The farmhouse was hauntingly silent, implying that Reiner had left again. Of course, fearing that he was merely laying in an unconscious stupor somewhere within the vicinity, Astrid simply stayed put.

Tedious seconds turned to grueling minutes, and those passed excruciatingly slow, building into exhausting hours. Astrid simply laid there, numb and trying desperately not to think. Suddenly an image of her mother shot into her mind. She was pale and withered, speaking quietly on her deathbed.

 _"Astrid, promise me you'll remember everything I've taught you. This is a harsh world we live in, dear child. You must stand firm and hold on to your beliefs, or else you'll crumble."_

Astrid did remember. She remembered the way it felt to live a life of poverty and desperation, and then the way it felt to stray from her mother's pedestal of wisdom and light. Astrid found the latter choice to be the far better option. There was something about the freedom of following the crooked path of immorality that just felt so right. Immorality - that's what her mother called it, anyway. But was looking out for oneself really so wrong? If that was the case, then Astrid reasoned that she would rather not be right. Self-preservation - that was what she believed in, and now she was sure of it. Priest-like charity, devotion, and selflessness were definitely not her forte.

Her mother was a being of divine justice that she simply couldn't fathom. If that monster was her brother - the same brother that had mercilessly beaten Astrid just last night - and her mother found fit to trust him, then she must have believed in extreme powers of forgiveness. Astrid also found it hard to believe in those ideas. Had Reiner beaten Nona, too? Or was it something else? Either way, despite her uncle's drunken identity mix-up, she was certainly not her mother.

...

Astrid turned her head, gazing blankly through the window to the dusk horizon on the other side. Not a soul stirred downstairs, and given the time that had passed, Astrid decided it was finally safe to move. Reiner must have taken off. Gods only knew how long he'd leave her in peace, but she hoped he would somehow die out there and never return. The man was a stain on her already tarnished life - she'd had enough of him.

She stood wearily, still holding her throbbing abdomen and slightly hunched over in her pain. Walking slowly, she stepped through the doorway, noting that her bedroom door had nearly been knocked from its hinges. Gods, that man was despicable.

Astrid crept through the dark, silent hallway and down the creaky old stairs, wincing with every noise they made. She felt as if any minute Reiner would wake up from somewhere on the floor and make his way to finish her off. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of her paranoia. He was most likely gone to have stayed quiet for such a long period of time.

Standing at the bottom of the steps she stared, wide-eyed, at a busted wine bottle, scanning the burgundy stain where the former contents had painted a nearby wall. The man had been furious - enraged like a rabid dog. Astrid shuddered, moving her gaze to the front door of the farmhouse, which was strangely left open.

Reiner had likely fled in his drunken stupor, not bothering to shut the door. Astrid stepped warily to the open doorway, scanning outside. She sighed with relief, seeing Reiner's carriage missing. He was gone. Thank the Divines.

* * *

Astrid eyed the large tub of steaming bathwater she'd prepared in a back room of the farmhouse. Her body ached, and she was covered in sweat and tinged with blood. This would give her a small comfort, if only for a moment. Letting her filthy dress and undergarments fall to the floor, she stepped into the hot, but welcoming water.

She settled in, sighing and eyeing the locked door. Just to make sure she felt safe, she'd previously pushed a heavy dresser in front of it, grimacing and groaning through the intense pain of doing so. Her eyes wandered over her bare form, wincing in disgust when she took note of the dark bruising on her left side. Bastard. She hoped he was somewhere rotting by the road. Of course, she figured she wouldn't find herself to be so lucky. Monsters like Reiner seemed to always gain the upper-hand in her life, continuing to exist and reek havoc on those who couldn't escape their clutches.

Astrid gasped, throbbing from the pressure on her skin as she washed herself. She inhaled deeply, wishing Delvin could be there to comfort her. However, he wasn't. Nobody was there when she needed it most - not even _him_.

Feeling a twinge of anger well up inside of her, Astrid shook the negative thoughts of him away, scolding herself for being so foolish. Of course he couldn't be there, he had to be inconspicuous as to not set off her uncle to their plight. Delvin had gone through a great deal to help her, she forcefully reminded herself.

She ducked her head under the hot, soothing water, lingering underneath for a bit. Her glassy stare watched the ceiling distort from the rippling surface above her, as she mentally dared herself to hold her breath as long as she could stand it. It was a strange habit she'd formed since childhood, somehow internally tempting the fates to try and take her, while knowing she had the power...the _control_ to come to the surface.

Of course, nothing was stopping Delvin from coming down to the farmhouse and doing something terrible to Reiner. He may not have known about her recent assault, but he knew enough to want to beat Reiner senseless by now, didn't he? Why hadn't he done that already?

Suddenly, Astrid burst forth from the water, gasping for air and beating the fates again. She composed herself, lathering up her blonde locks while brooding on the subject some more. The guild - that was it. Delvin had to abide by the rules to operate from within his organization and get her in. He had a strict code to live by...

Astrid stopped, lowering her hands and growing still. Her mother lived by a strict code, too, and that only caused Astrid to suffer. Was Delvin leading her to... _suffer_ , as well?

No, of course not. He would help her. He would find out and seek revenge on her behalf. Delvin simply didn't know about the current situation. Once informed, he'd never let it happen again. He'd probably have Reiner's head. Wouldn't he?

Astrid sighed, rinsing the lather from her hair. Fearing where her mind was going, she simply leaned back, eyes fixating on the guarded door across from her. Thinking wasn't such a good idea, she decided.


	14. Chapter 14: Hopeful

**A/N:** _Hello everyone, here's chapter 14! Thanks to all who read/follow/fav/review! I appreciate it all! Have a good weekend and hope you enjoy!_

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Chapter 14: Hopeful

Astrid sat at the kitchen table, chewing on a leathery piece of dried beef and taking a drink of the strongest mead in the house. She figured she needed the alchohol, given her circumstances. A few days had passed with no sign of her uncle, and it was much to her satisfaction. Maybe Reiner had gotten into a drunken skirmish and someone had finally gutted him. If so, _good riddance_ , Astrid mused with a smirk.

A sudden, forceful banging on the front door caused Astrid to release her drink, coughing and gagging from inhaling a good bit of it in her sudden panic. She quickly picked up the bottle off the floor, not daring to further spill its contents. Her hands trembled, as she neared the inevitable. Of course that vile son of a bitch would come back. Just as she'd reminded herself before, she couldn't be so lucky.

She shielded herself behind the door, hesitantly opening it just a fraction.

"Astrid?!" a worried, familiar voice called out from the other side.

"...Delvin?" Astrid gasped, flinging the door open.

There he stood - her thief, her rescuer. Better late than never, she reasoned, feeling both joyous and relieved. Delvin's eyes were wide and his expression wild. "By the love of Mara, what did that bloody bastard do to you?!" His gaze scanned over the fading bruises on her arms and neck, before reaching the battered state of her face.

Astrid folded her arms, glaring off into the distance. "He made me cater to a bunch of thugs. While I was playing maid to them, they found one of my gold stashes. Needless to say, dear uncle wasn't very pleased with me. Some people argue or lecture in such cases, but one as refined as Reiner likes to use _other_ methods of retaliation..." she spat, her voice thick with bitter hatred for the man.

"Damn it..." Delvin growled. "If I knew that filthy asshole would go and do this, I'd have never let ya outta' my sight..."

Suddenly, the joy and relief inside of Astrid began to fade away with Delvin's words. Perhaps if Delvin handled things in a different, more forceful manner, this wouldn't have happened in the first place. Astrid began to grow angry with Delvin against her will. All she could think of was the fact that a bolder man would have Reiner's head on a stick by now. Astrid shook her head, prying away the unwanted thought. "No, it's alright...I know we have to play by the rules until I'm in the guild. I had to come back here. It's for our own good..." she forced the words out, hoping she'd eventually believe them herself.

"Astrid..." Delvin's voice fell hushed, as he gently caressed her cheek. "Forgive me, luv. This is all my fault. I should have moved things along a bit quicker on my end. I had a bad feelin' about that bloke, given what I'd heard about him. I should have listened to my gut. I'll make sure this is taken care of, luv..."

Internally, Astrid perked up hearing his reassuring words. She raised an interested brow. "What are you going to do to him?" Certainly something very violent and wrong, she hoped.

"He's gone for now, Astrid. We need to worry about _you_ , luv. Come back with me, will ya? Talk with Mercer - he's the Guild Master. If you pass the initiation - and I know ya will - you'll have our protection under the city. Whaddya say?" he asked in a pleading tone, pulling her into his arms.

He did care for her best interests, though Astrid had to admit, she didn't necessarily agree with his methods. Delvin was acting on the defensive, whereas Astrid felt he should've been on the offensive, ready to strike at any moment. However, she pushed this aside, realizing that their differences didn't completely wipe away the fact that he wanted to help her - to save her. She had to hold on to that.

"Let me get my things." she answered, getting right to the business at hand. If there was a way to permanently leave that bastard uncle of hers, she couldn't let trivial matters get in the way. She needed an escape, and Delvin was providing one for her. She wasn't about to let that go.

* * *

The Ratway was a dark, snaking series of moldy tunnels and filthy passageways. Shady occupants of various races seemed to line every wall. The heavy, foul-smelling air was simply nausea-inducing, and Astrid found herself holding her breath on more than one occasion.

After traveling for what seemed like an eternity, Delvin stopped in front of her, his torch illuminating a rickety wooden door. He turned, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Stay close to me, luv. This place is brimmin' with scoundrels. And not all of 'em are my people, either. We get all kinds of strange folk passin' though the Flagon." he warned, gently squeezing her shoulder.

"Alright. Lead on, then. I might as well see what I'm getting into." Astrid smirked, coaxing a grin out of Delvin's wary features.

Delvin pushed open the door, as Astrid cautiously followed behind him, taking in the dim, gritty atmosphere. The small, twisted tunnel opened up into a large, circular cistern. To their immediate right, an old, dingy sign read: "The Ragged Flagon". There appeared to be a dirty old tavern settled in the midst of the place, filled with suspicious-looking criminals.

"This way, luv." Delvin motioned, as Astrid followed him though another set of winding corridors, leading off into various rooms.

"Delvin! I see you've brought our potential member, eh?" A smooth voice with a thick accent called from behind Astrid. Delvin turned around, his torch lighting up the features of a handsome, ginger-haired young Nord.

"Aye, she's with me, Brynjolf. Where's Mercer? We need to meet with him." Delvin spoke to the man in a darker, business-like manner that he'd never once used with Astrid. As a matter of fact, his whole personality seemed to shift as he'd entered his dark home.

"I'm afraid he's busy with some personal matters. He's uh...Let's say he's taking care of that 'problem' he mentioned to us..." the man stated in a leery manner, then turned to Astrid.

"Good to meet you, Astrid. Delvin's told us a lot of good things about you, lass." He flashed a charming smile, holding out his hand.

"Likewise..." Astrid replied slowly, cautiously shaking the man's large, calloused hand. She watched as his eyes briefly grazed over the damage on her face, causing her to feel strangely self-conscious and scrutinized. He then gave Delvin a sharp, strange look. "Delvin, I need to speak with you a moment, lad. Would you kindly escort Astrid back to the Flagon to wait for us?"

Astrid watched as Delvin glared into Brynjolf's eyes, appearing bitter, before turning back to her. "Aye. Astrid, luv, I'll take ya back outta here until we're done with business. It'll only be a moment, eh?"

Astrid gave Delvin a wary look, folding her arms before hesitantly nodding in agreement. What was going on that had to remain so private? She was standing among the guild, and yet she still felt oblivious to the inner-workings of the organization. Perhaps she'd be let in on their secrets, once she joined their ranks. Their secrecy was likely just a formality, she reasoned.

A few quick twists and turns and she was back into the cistern, with Delvin briefly rubbing her shoulder to comfort her uneasy disposition. "I won't be long, luv. Just business, that's all." he stated before disappearing back into the dark passageway.

* * *

"Sorry, friend." Brynjolf spoke apologetically. "I couldn't let her around Mercer's quarters without his permission. Not sure what he's up to, but he said he's in negotiations with a very secretive entity. Has he told you anything else?"

"Nah. The bloke is as hushed up as ever. Not sure what that little "problem" is, but believe me, I won't disturb him. He gave you the okay anyway, didn't he?" Delvin asked, feeling hopeful that everything should run smoothly concerning Astrid's initiating mission.

"Yeah. I can officially give Astrid her first job. Of course, there is one thing, Delvin..." Brynjolf added, his voice trailing off into uncertainty.

"Alright, out with it." Delvin spat, feeling suddenly irritated. Just like Brynjolf to be prodding around in his business.

"What happened to her, lad? She looks like she's had the livin' daylights beaten out of her. It's a good thing I'm the one meeting with her instead of Mercer. He'd be wary of her." Brynjolf admitted, giving Delvin a concerned look.

"Yeah, what does he know? Mercer's wary of everyone! That guy's as paranoid as they come, I'd wager. She didn't get caught thievin' or anything, if that's what you're gettin' at. The girl lives with her uncle, who happens to be a slimy prick! The son of a bitch laid his hands on her! That's why we need to get her in here now, before he kills her next time!" Delvin huffed, feeling angry and more than ready to defend Astrid.

"Very well, Delvin. Just as long as she isn't a liability, she's welcome to join us. This uncle won't be a potential threat, will he? You know how Mercer is about-"

"Yeah, I know how he is!" Delvin snapped, cutting him off. Of course her uncle was a threat, but he wasn't going to sit back and let Astrid get murdered. He'd just have to keep the details about Reiner to himself. If Mercer found out she was connected to a man who once had bad dealings with the guild, he wouldn't give her a second glance. Delvin sighed, feeling frustrated with the whole situation.

Mercer had been their leader for nearly five years now, and Delvin tried his best to respect the crass, suspicion-steeped man, but he was no Gallus. Their former leader seemed to be much more level-headed and considerate to his guild members. Mercer had served adequately, but since Gallus' death and the banishment of a certain female member who'd been charged with the crime, Mercer had viewed everyone as a potential enemy. Apparently, he must have feared the same fate to befall him someday.

"Alright, friend. I will trust your judgement and withold mine." Brynjolf nodded, as a loud stream of fearful screams and raging growls burst through the passageway. As quickly as the commotion began, it seemed to end.

Delvin could feel himself freeze in the darkness.

A large, dark figure entered the passageway. He was a young, muscular, silver-maned Nord. The man donned a set of armor that Delvin was all-too familiar with. He was an assassin - a member of none other than the notorious Dark Brotherhood. The large, ominous man stepped between the two of them.

"I need to have a word with your Guild Master. You two would be wise to not interfere." he stated coldly, his voice deep and rough like gravel. The large Nord walked slowly past them, appearing to be well-aware of his intimidating presence.

Brynjolf sent Delvin a sick, worried look before the two decided to heed the dangerous man's word. Even a guild as shadow-bound as the Thieves' Guild knew better than to mess with the Dark Brotherhood. The two promptly decided it would be best to leave the area for a bit.

...

As Delvin walked beside his comrade, he saw Astrid standing where he'd left her. She had an unusual expression painted on her features. It was as if she was in some strange daze or trance.

"What happened out here?" Brynjolf quickly questioned her, after apparently noticing that the crowded cistern was full of deathly silent, fearful people.

"That man...The one with the silver hair...It was him. I heard someone scream from the door behind the bar. Then he came out of it...I think he may have killed someone back there..." she said in a low, calm tone that seemed as if she'd been hypnotized by the event. "I heard someone say it was a new member..."

"What?" Delvin asked, dumbfounded. The only rookie he knew was some young fellow who'd proved to be a bit weak and undependable. He'd made quite a few slip-ups, causing the guild's name to be muttered and brought up in ways that carried unwanted attention to them.

"Why in Oblivion was he going to see Mercer?" Brynjolf looked to Delvin, his features appearing worried and uneasy.

"I asked him where he was going when I saw him headed your way. I was worried he might try something. He just told me he was just going to collect a debt..." she replied, causing Delvin's stomach to churn.

"Oh, gods...Did Mercer...?" Brynjolf mumbled to himself, abruptly stopping before he said too much.

"I dunno..." Delvin sighed, for lack of anything better to rectify the shady situation. "I don't suppose we'll find out, either."

"Right..." Brynjolf muttered, attempting to regain his composure. "Well, Astrid...Are you ready for your first mission?"

Delvin noticed that Astrid's eyes fixated on him for a brief moment, as if questioning what all of this was about. Delvin wasn't so sure he wanted to know the truth himself. Of course, he wouldn't put it past Mercer to do something terrible. The man seemed more than a little unhinged at times, as it was. Feeling too uncomfortable with his own unsettling thoughts, he simply chose not to ponder anymore on the matter.

"Yes, I'm ready." Astrid nodded, calmly crossing her arms. At least _one_ person among the three of them didn't seem too rattled. He studied Astrid a moment, noting just how calm she seemed - unnervingly calm. A man had potentially slaughtered another man just out of her reach, and yet, she stayed so very... _calm_. He quickly changed his train of thought, realizing that it was yet another subject that was too unsettling to think about.


	15. Chapter 15: Troubled

**A/N:** _Hello everyone! Here's chapter 15, hope you like it! Thanks to my readers out there and those who have followed/fav/reviewed! Hope you guys enjoy, and I'll see you again next week!_

* * *

Chapter 15: Troubled

Delvin eyed Astrid's form as she hastily stood up from her place beside him in the bed. The room at the Bee and Barb was dark, save for the faint candlelight on a nearby end table. He felt uneasy inside, noting the frantic flame painting Astrid in ominous waves of light. He slightly winced, as the light illuminated the faded bruising on her pale flesh. "You sure you wanna do this tonight, luv? Perhaps you should rest up a bit...You know...It'll help you to heal quicker." he spoke softly, feeling unnerved by how little Astrid had spoken since their meeting with the guild. "Brynjolf already said to finish the job at your convenience. There really is no rush, luv." Delvin coaxed, hoping Astrid would take heed and not try such a task while in her current condition. It wasn't that he wanted to hold up her progress. He simply feared that she'd likely be caught, or perhaps further injured while in such a weak state. He'd given her a couple of small healing potions, which had helped to an extent, but what Astrid really needed was to rest. Besides, healing potions only helped one's physical form, and Astrid needed to mentally recover from such a horrific attack. Delvin not only worried for her physical being, but her state of mind, as well.

He watched as Astrid calmly dressed herself in the old guild armor he'd given her, seeming to pay no heed to his words. She then turned to him, her battered face seeming emotionless as the light twisted across her features. "I'm certain that taking our sweet time is what landed me in this spot in the first place." she stated plainly, her voice seeming cold and distant, even for her.

Delvin raised up, sliding to seat himself on the edge of the bed. "Look, I know I failed you. I ain't gonna deny it. But you're here with me now. I ain't lettin' you go back into harms way again. I want you in the guild as bad as you do, Astrid. I just don't want ya gettin' hurt any further, luv. You ain't in no shape to be goin' out on a job." Delvin insisted, hoping to persuade her to stay with him for the remainder of the night.

Blatantly ignoring his words, Astrid changed the subject as she pulled her boots on. "Delvin...Who was that man in the Flagon?"

"I dunno his name, luv." Delvin replied, not wanting to further the conversation about the previous events of the day.

Much to his dislike, however, Astrid pressed on. "Why did he kill one of your own?"

Delvin sighed, feeling defeated while wiping a hand over his face. "I'm sure you noticed the armor, didn't ya?"

"It was certainly different, if that's what you mean. He didn't look like one of the guild members." Astrid remarked casually, now sifting through a satchel.

"That bloke's a member of the Dark Brotherhood - an _assassin_. He was sent by someone to off one of our members." Delvin spoke apprehensively, staring at the floor and hoping she wouldn't question things further. He simply wanted those events to be as far away from his conscious mind as possible.

"Didn't he collect a debt from your leader, Delvin?" Astrid shot him a sharp, telling look from across the room. She knew.

Delvin averted his eyes from her intense gaze. "Look, what Mercer does is none o' my business. I can't go meddlin' in his affairs. I can't prove he did a damned thing, Astrid." his voice raised slightly in his exasperation. He just didn't want to face it yet. Sure the guild was a cut-throat place, but that usually wasn't the case. Besides, murder was almost always bad for business and bad for the guild. This was a rare occasion, and the guild was all Delvin had. He couldn't go around bad-mouthing his home - his _family_.

"Hm." Astrid shrugged, now pulling the hood over her head, shrouding her eyes from his view. "I'll be back later, Delvin. It's the dead of night and the tavern downstairs is usually empty at this hour. I need to take this opportunity while I can. It's an easy mission. I'll be back by morning."

"Alright, luv. If you say so..." Delvin sighed. "Just be careful out there, alright?"

"I'm always careful, aren't I?" Astrid smirked, leaving through the door and out of his sight. Delvin shuddered slightly, watching her disappear from view. Something was very wrong. She hadn't been acting right lately.

* * *

Astrid gazed at the twin moons, watching as thick, ominous clouds moved into the night sky, holding the promise of a storm in the near future. Throwing a small piece of tinder in the fire, she held up a valuable necklace, watching its jewel glimmer in the firelight.

Obtaining the precious item had been simple, really. Brynjolf had given her a beginner's location - another solitary house outside of Riften. The modest home was occupied by a small, feeble old lady and was located deep in the woodland area. A quick slip in and out and she'd obtained her goal, completely undetected, and with plenty of time to just... _think._

Placing the valuable back into her knapsack for safe keeping, Astrid promptly opened a bottle of Ale. She began to indulge herself, savoring the spicy flavor, while resting in the peaceful environment of the small campsite she'd created. She wiped her mouth, welcoming the burn of the alcohol on her insides and the numbing effect it had on her tattered emotions.

She leaned back on her elbows, feeling the cold earth beneath her, while staring up at the night sky and allowing her thoughts to drift. That man - that _assassin_ \- he had blue eyes. They weren't a warm, vibrant blue like Delvin's, but an icy, silver shade of blue. His eyes were cold and brutal when they locked with Astrid's back in the Flagon.

The man was large and fearsome, and obviously capable of atrocious things, given the way he'd killed an unknowing guild member in a matter of moments. She'd become fearful that he would murder Delvin as well, and when she asked the mysterious man where he was going, he paused. He didn't attack her, or turn violent in any way. He simply paused.

There was a familiarity in those eyes - a presence of some sort that Astrid couldn't quite put her finger on. Astrid could've sworn she'd even noticed a slight trace of surprise on the man's intimidating features. Perhaps he was shocked that someone had been bold enough to speak to him, given the horrific act he'd just committed. Maybe she should've been afraid, she mused. Of course, she didn't fear the man himself, only that he may harm the one she cared for. When he gave her his cryptic answer, he paused a moment more, studying her as he began to walk away. His voice wasn't angry or hostile in any way. He was actually quite collected.

When he walked past her, she absentmindedly took a step forward, beginning to follow him before she realized what she was doing. It was strange really - as if she'd been subconsciously drawn to him in some way. The man must've noticed her behavior, for he looked over his shoulder, watching her, and causing her to stop dead in her tracks. Astrid didn't want to antagonize him, so she simply stayed put. He merely paused, his steely blue gaze piercing her one final time before fading into the shadows.

Allowing her mind to wander to the next thought, Astrid found that she couldn't shake the feeling of doubt that began to bubble in her mind concerning Delvin and the Thieves' Guild. He spoke of them as if they were his family, and yet, what family would allow each other to be slaughtered without consequence? If she were to join among their ranks, would she be wiped out the moment she didn't please their Guild Master? And why did Delvin refuse to accept or admit that his leader was solely responsible for the member's death? Why was he being so... _weak?_

Astrid sat up, propping her elbows on her knees while wiping her forehead in her frustration. Delvin was helping her, she reminded and partially scolded herself. He had been nothing but kind to her since the day they'd met. But then again...How kind was too kind? Was he too kind to ever seek revenge on her uncle? He certainly didn't seem concerned with harming Reiner - the very man who had beaten her to a bloody pulp.

No, she argued with herself, he's doing this to help me! Delvin wants me safe. Of course...That's what he wanted from the start, and that didn't happen. Delvin hadn't kept her safe, and the very place he'd deemed his sanctuary was a threat as well. For gods' sakes, they were murdering each other there while he was turning a blind eye!

Astrid inhaled deeply, chugging the rest of her drink in an attempt to quiet the disturbing thoughts. No. She'd just push it away, she thought, as her eyes began to fill with tears. Against her own will, she began to weep, her face falling into her palms. Despite her feelings of desperation, Astrid just couldn't push it from thought. The pain was too deep and too severe. Astrid was hurt, and not just by Reiner's act, but by Delvin himself.

"You...lied..." Astrid whispered, feeling betrayed by the man who was supposed to save her. Hot tears scorched her cheeks as the wind began to pick up. She wiped her eyes, hearing the low rumbling of thunder in the distance. The campfire darted about furiously under the unyielding gale blowing forth.

Perhaps Delvin was kind, but he was also weak - just like her mother. He was leading her to be slaughtered, whether he realized it or not. Maybe she was better off facing Reiner herself. Delvin certainly wasn't going to do it, and as long as her miserable excuse for an uncle was cursing her existence by being alive, she would always have to look over her shoulder. She didn't want to live in fear of Reiner ever finding her. The man was demented enough as it was - she would certainly rue the day he'd stumble into her again. He would eventually figure out that she was close, and he'd get her. Even if he didn't, the Thieve's Guild themselves might decide to do away with her.

At least, she reasoned, she could be in control of her own fate. At least if she were to die living in that old farmhouse, it would be her own choice that she'd be well-aware of. It would be better than being told niceties and hopeful thoughts, only for them to be a ruse. She'd wind up dead, either way. Delvin could have stopped this long ago. He simply chose to be weak, and until he decided to pay back those who deserved it, she would go her own way.

Lightning flashed in the sky, as rain began to pour relentlessly. Astrid stood, pulling her hood over her head and walking deeper into the woods. If Delvin wouldn't make Reiner's life a living torment, then she would, no matter what consequences awaited her.

* * *

Rain plunged mercilessly from the gray sky above as Delvin walked outside the gates of Riften. He was following the trail that led to the small cottage Astrid had been sent to burglarize. Astrid said she'd be back by morning. Morning had passed long ago, and after hours of waiting for her return, Delvin grew wary. Fearing the worst for her, he began to run once he'd left sight of the city in the distance. His speed increased as he hit the edge of the thick forest. Hearing any signs of her was difficult, for the harsh rains continued to beat down, muffling out any other noises that could possibly alert him in the distance.

He mentally berated himself, feeling idiotic for ever letting her go on a mission in such a terrible state. The poor girl had been brutally beaten, for Noctunal's sake! She probably wasn't even in the right state of mind. Fearing the unknown, he stopped as he approached the small dwelling amid the forest. Brynjolf had told him that an old woman lived there, so he wasn't so worried about Astrid's chances with her. It was the outside threats that he feared most. What if bandits had abducted her? What if that bastard Reiner had found her? He called for her, time and again, only to be met with silence.

"Damn it..." he growled, balling his fists in anger. Why had he been stupid enough to let her go? He should've been a man and stood up to her, making her stay with him until she was well enough to do the job! Why did she have so much power over his ability to think straight - so much power over _him_?!

Overwhelmed, desperate, and not sure of what else to do, Delvin decided to head to the Ratway. Perhaps Astrid had taken matters into her own hands - as she often preferred to do - and decided to deal with Brynjolf herself after the job was completed. Delvin sighed, turning back to the city of Riften.


	16. Chapter 16: Bitter

**A/N:** _Hello everyone! Many thanks for the reviews, favs, follows, and those who simply stop in to read! I appreciate it all very much! Here's chapter 16, hope you all enjoy!_

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Chapter 16: Bitter

Astrid stared out the open front door of the farmhouse, watching the rain beat mercilessly on the ground. Thunder boomed in the distance, as if to emphasize the impending doom that surely awaited her. The darkness of night had fallen over the old farmhouse, with only bright flashes of lightning dotting the infinite blackness overhead.

Reiner's cattle bellowed nervously in the distance, with the same unease that Astrid had felt herself while traveling back to the old farmhouse. The whole time, even with her distracting emotions, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being followed. During her journey back through the wilds of the forests, every now and again she could hear the faint footsteps of an unknown being lurking just out of sight. Now, as she stood silently, staring out into the stormy night, she felt sure of the fact that something was indeed out there.

Astrid stepped inside the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of wine off the table and popping the cork out. She began to chug the drink as fast as possible, in dire need of numbing the pain festering inside of her.

Suddenly, a water-drenched figure bolted through the doorway. The man grabbed her forcefully by the arm, causing her to drop the bottle to the floor.

"Astrid, have ya lost your mind?! What in the plane of Oblivion are you doin' back where that son of a bitch can get to ya?!" Delvin yelled, his face red with fury. "I've been lookin' everywhere for ya - the Flagon, the city, the woods. Why?! Why here?"

Astrid jerked her arm from Delvin's grasp, glaring at him. "I'll tell you why. Because you lied to me, Delvin." she spat, her voice chilling and her hair raising on end.

"What?! I don't know what your talkin' bout, Astrid! You're not makin' any sense! I told you I'd get ya in the guild and get you away from here! And that's what I was doin' until you took off like a mad woman!" Delvin retorted, glaring back.

"No! You told me you wouldn't let him hurt me, Delvin! Well, he did! Now I know you weren't aware of it, and that couldn't be helped. But then you found me like this, and you did nothing to him! Nothing!" Astrid fumed, picking her bottle off the floor to take another inebriating dose.

"Astrid, he wasn't here! I took you so you'd be safe! I didn't think ya'd be loony enough to come right back!" Delvin barked, throwing his hands up.

"You see..." Astrid began, feeling her whole body turn to ice. "That is where you are wrong, Mallory..."

Delvin said nothing to her cold formalities, only showing the feelings of shock and hurt on his features. He lowered his hands, sighing while listening to her with a worried look on his face.

"Your little den of thieves isn't safe, either. You know Mercer had one of your own killed, and yet you go on pretending nothing happened. Just like you knew how Reiner was long ago, and yet you did nothing...That's why I'm in this mess. You keep telling me everything will be fine. Well, guess what, Mallory? Nothing is fine. My question is, just when is your looking on the bright side going to get me killed? Hmmm? Will I die because you won't punish Reiner, or will I die because you turn a blind eye to murderers just so you can live in your happy little lie?" Astrid seethed, her voice low and unnervingly calm.

"Look, I know I waited too long, Astrid. I let you get hurt, and I regret it. Believe me, luv. Every time I see the marks that bastard made on ya, it cuts me to the quick. Ya gotta believe me, luv. You can be as bloody mad at me as you want, but don't do somethin' stupid just to prove a point. I don't want him comin' back here and doin' away with ya! Just come to your senses and come back with me, eh?" Delvin stepped closer in an attempt to make physical contact with her, only causing her to back away.

"See what I mean, Mallory? Running...You're always running. I was running too, and now I'm tired of these weak, pathetic plans. I want him gone, understand? If I am to be in this little "guild" of yours, Reiner can't exist. You see, when I planned to move away from him, it was going to be _far_ away. Then you tell me I can be in your guild. Fine, I tried, until the son of a bitch nearly killed me! I can't stay in Riften, even in the Ratway with that maniac loose! He's a monster! He will eventually find me. I was stupid to believe that was ever the solution..." Astrid continued, losing herself amidst her fury.

"Just what are you sayin', luv? You want him dead? Is that it?" Delvin asked, his face twisted in severe worry.

"What do you think?" Astrid mocked, completely losing control of herself. For that moment, her tender feelings for Delvin seemed nearly invisible to her darkened heart. For that moment, she felt only hatred.

"Astrid, luv, I ain't no murderer. Sure I'm a criminal. I'm as slimy a' crook as they come, but I ain't one to take a man's life." Delvin's voice grew hushed, his eyes wide with fright.

"Then get out of here. I'll deal with Reiner myself." Astrid stated coldly, feeling nothing but numbness and emptiness fill the void inside of her.

"No! Don't do it, Astrid! I ain't gonna let you do somethin' you'll regret!" Delvin stepped up, Astrid seeing a stern look on his features.

Astrid smirked, "Who says I'll regret it?"

She watched as panic filled Delvin's features once more. "Look, luv, ya ain't in your right mind. He almost killed ya - that's bound to mess with your head a bit. Just, listen to me...okay? Come back with me, and I'll send someone to make him pay..." Delvin pleaded with her.

Astrid calmly walked over to the table, casually tapping her fingers against the old wood. "Ah, ah, ah, Mallory. I'm afraid that won't do. I won't have you lying to me again. If you punish him in any way, you'll have to do it here. I won't leave until I see something terrible happen to Reiner, understand?"

She looked on as Delvin sighed, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. He paced about, becoming as silent as death, until he finally turned back to her. "Fine, then. What if I called in a certain favor from the guild? Reiner is bad blood to my people. Perhaps, I can take everything away from him - punish him, as you say. They'll come in during the night. They'll threaten his life. You know, shake him up. Throw him around a bit! Rattle him! They'll raid his house - take all his valuables, his coin, his skooma, every damned thing he has! They won't kill him, though. It's bad for business and bad for the guild, luv. I know it ain't exactly what ya want, but he'll have nothin', understand? The bastard will probably off himself when we're done with him!" Delvin persuaded. "How 'bout it, Astrid? Will ya just come with me? I'll do it, I swear..."

Astrid seated herself, drumming her fingers continuously and noting how Delvin seemed to squirm under her hesitance. For some reason, she began to enjoy seeing him uncomfortable. It felt refreshing to gain the upper-hand. And maybe, just maybe, he had a point. Maybe she could deal a punishment worse than death to Reiner. Greed controlled him, and with nothing to his name, he'd be nothing. She had to admit, she'd like to see him suffer. Of course, she had to actually see it in person, or she knew she wouldn't feel satisfied.

"Under one condition..." Astrid finally spoke, as Delvin's ears perked up hopefully. "I'm staying here. I want to see it happen. Besides, if you lie to me this time, I'll know it..."

"But Astri-"

The sudden sound of hoof beats in the distance cut their conversation short. Astrid approached the doorway, seeing Reiner's carriage jostling along the trail, the stormy wind ripping at it.

"Well, there's your chance, Mallory..." Astrid said coldly, looking at his apalled face. She could see the fear in his eyes, and for once, she didn't feel any remorse for her behavior. He may have been a kind man, but kind men were like her mother, who would kindly feed her to the wolves. It wasn't really personal, anymore. She just needed to survive, and that meant by any means necessary.

Delvin sighed, appearing truly defeated. "Alright, Astrid. I'll send my people your way. Just don't let them see ya when it happens, luv. Mercer won't let you in the guild if he gets word that Reiner's your uncle. That's just the way it is, luv. Just hide somewhere - be inconspicuous."

"Very well, then. I expect to see them soon..." Astrid warned.

"Aye, as soon as I can manage, luv..." Delvin sighed. "I guess I'd better get outta here, seein' as your not comin' with me, eh?"

"Guess so..." Astrid spoke, her voice as freezing as the rain outside. She watched as Delvin slowly backed away from her before disappearing into the night, undetected by her approaching uncle.

* * *

Still standing her ground in the doorway, Astrid watched as Reiner jumped down from his carriage, the lightning clashing against his ominous features. This time Astrid didn't feel fearful. She simply felt pure, uninhibited hatred for the man who had tormented her ceaselessly.

She noticed how he walked toward the house, not seeming inebriated, for he wasn't staggering about like he was known to do. She simply stared at him, crossing her arms over her chest as she propped herself against the doorway.

Reiner stepped up, his face twisted in what seemed to be an attempt to hold back his anger. A little too late for that, Astrid thought.

Astrid smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Back so soon, uncle?"

"Let me in, girl." he spoke, ice in his voice. Astrid stepped to the side, as the demented man stomped his way in, grabbing a bottle of skooma out of the pantry.

Reiner seated himself at the table, gesturing to her. "Sit, Astrid. I need to tell you some... _things_..."

"Why?" Astrid's brow furrowed. Wasn't it a little late for lectures now?

"We need to make sure these little mishaps don't happen again," Reiner growled, drinking his illegal drink of choice.

Astrid silently walked to the table, seating herself. "What?" she spat, not amused with him. As a matter of fact, she felt the urge to provoke Reiner, but she quieted it for Delvin's sake. Maybe his little plan would work and she wouldn't have to do something _drastic_. Maybe.

"Where were you, uncle?" Astrid inquired, not fully resisting the impulse to gain control of the conversation.

"Why do you wanna know?" Reiner barked, already irritated as usual.

"Because you beat me in a drunken stupor and left for days on end, that's why. I could've died, you know..." Astrid spoke bluntly.

"If I wanted you dead, girl, you'd be dead. That's why I left. I lost my temper, niece. I had to stop myself, so I left your sorry arse alone. I was in Riften, if it makes any difference to you!" Reiner growled, with Astrid noting that it would indeed be likely that she'd run into Reiner sooner or later, and he'd discover the other part of her life - the part she'd been hiding from him.

Astrid's eyes briefly glanced over his face, noting that he had a jagged, deep scratch down the right side of it. "Who gave you that scratch, uncle?" Astrid asked, casually placing her chin on her fist.

"Certainly not you, young Astrid. All you could do was whimper and cry when I took to disciplining you! It was a night walker, niece. She tried to take my gold before I paid her, and she tried to fight back. She didn't win, if that's what you're wondering. Dumb bitch. She had it comin'. " Reiner tightened his fingers around the bottle, taking a large gulp.

"Discipline...? _That_ is what you call discipline?" Astrid raised an eyebrow, truly fascinated by how twisted he was.

"Yes, damn it! And it wouldn't have happened if you weren't hiding coin from me like a lyin' little hagraven! If I catch you crossing me again, I'll make sure you won't do it again. Now, I'm supposed to keep watch over you. Nona entrusted you to me, and so that means you are mine, Astrid. You got that? That means you do what I say, when I say it. And you won't question things or get ideas to run away. Got that?" Reiner leaned in, his alcoholic breath filling in her nostrils. He also smelled of sweat and something else that Astrid chose not to think about.

"Why can't I leave, Reiner? Why do you want me here?" Astrid blurted out, feeling the prickle of anger crawl up her skin.

"Because, you are mine. I gave you a roof over your blasted head, and you'll repay me. It's simple niece. Don't question it." Reiner spat, growing increasingly agitated with Astrid's questioning.

"And pray tell, uncle, how will I ever repay you?" Astrid scoffed, sitting back in her seat and folding her arms.

"However I wish for you to, young Astrid. Just do as I say, and we won't have no more problems." he stated. Just what did he want? Why was he so abusive? So possessive? Just what was his problem? Maybe she'd prod around and find out...

Astrid narrowed her eyes. "So...Why don't you have a wife by now? You're certainly old enough, uncle. I'm sure if you'd wed a good woman, you'd be taken care of. You wouldn't need me around. And you certainly wouldn't have to fight with your ladies in waiting anymore..."

She watched, feeling both uneasy and exhilerated as his eye seemed to twitch. It was as if she'd somehow hit a nerve deep within him. "I ain't had no need for a wife. Useless..."

"Haven't you ever loved a woman, uncle?" Astrid provoked, against her better judgment. She somehow couldn't hold back anymore. She wanted to torment him - _needed_ to, even at her own risk.

"No...They ain't no better than cattle. Only good for three things, they are: working, cooking, and pleasin' a man..." he growled, chugging the rest of his drink and throwing the bottle to the floor.

"What about Nona?" Astrid smirked deviously, raising a brow.

"WHAT ABOUT HER?!" he fumed, slamming a balled fist on the table.

"You loved her, didn't you? Or was she just like cattle? Tell me, dear uncle, which one of those things was she good for?" Astrid glared, her voice deathly calm. She just had to test him. She was just so full of questions, and so completely unconcerned about the risks. She just had this _feeling_ about him. She wanted - _needed_ to know what kind of monster he truly was.

Unexpectedly, he fell silent, staring down at the table. His mind seemed to drift to a black abyss, haunted by his own horde of demons. Astrid knew he was a terrible, twisted, and evil monster. If Delvin didn't make him pay, she certainly would.

Astrid stood, yawning and behaving as casually and apathetically as possible. "Well, uncle, if you don't mind...I'm going to bed now."

As she looked over her shoulder one last time, Reiner simply glared, his eyes piercing her, sharp like daggers.

"Goodnight, uncle..." she smirked deviously.


	17. Chapter 17: Vengeful

**A/N:** _Hello everyone - chapter 17 awaits! Hope you enjoy! As always, a very big thanks to you all! See you next Saturday!_

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Chapter 17: Vengeful

"What's wrong with you, lad? You look as if you've seen a ghost!" Brynjolf's brow furrowed, as Delvin quickly approached him.

"I'm fine, really. I-I just need to call in that favor you owe me, Brynjolf. I need some of our crew, and I need 'em quick, understand?" Delvin spoke, attempting to catch his breath. He had not, in fact, seen a ghost, but he may as well have. That beautiful, fragile, troubled girl he'd come to deeply care for had somehow turned. Into what, he wasn't so sure, but she wasn't the same woman he remembered. He could only hope that her behavior was a result of the severe beating she'd taken. Perhaps trauma had caused Astrid to come so unhinged. He'd also hoped that the effect wasn't permanent.

"At least tell me what it is first, lad! I need to know what I'm getting into." Brynjolf raised a brow, crossing his arms.

"It's for a friend. You remember that slimy fence our guild used to deal with? Reiner was his name. A fella' I know needs him shaken down a bit. We need to rough him up, take his valuables, and tear the whole place apart. I know where the bastard lives, so reachin' him won't be an issue. Like I said, it needs to be as soon as possible, eh? Preferably tonight, when the bloody bloke is at home not expectin' a thing!" Delvin explained, hoping to hurry things along. "Can ya do it?"

"Well, I need to ask Mercer first. He'll want to know why half the guild will be missing for a night. " Brynjolf insisted, stepping away from Delvin.

"By the gods, Bryn! Do we really have to ask permission for every bloody thing we do?" Delvin snapped, exasperated.

"Of course we do, lad! Especially when it comes to using half the guild for a simple favor. Besides, you know how Mercer feels about Reiner. He'd certainly not stop you. Unless, you're trying to hide something. It's not that lady friend of yours, is it? She hasn't returned from that job yet. Is there something you're not telling me, lad?" Brynjolf asked suspiciously.

"This has nothin' to do with the girl, Brynjolf! I'm keepin' her somewhere she'll be safe from that bastard uncle of hers. I told her to sit tight and heal up before she goes tryin' to rob somebody! This is business, and that's that! We'll go talk to Mercer, if it makes ya happy. Just hurry on with it!" Delvin growled, hoping to get to Reiner before Astrid did something she couldn't take back.

Brynjolf narrowed his eyes, as Delvin tried his best not to show signs of deceit in his body language. Part of him knew that Brynjolf wouldn't fully believe his story, but Delvin was hopeful that he'd be lucky enough that his comrade would dismiss his doubts. "Delvin, lad, I've never seen you so worked up over somethin' like this. You sure you're telling me the whole story?"

Delvin sighed, feeling like he was wound so tight he could snap at any moment. "What is there left to tell? Now you've owed me one, and I'm comin' to collect. Are you in or do I have to go about this myself?"

Finally, Brynjolf gave in, leaving Delvin secretly feeling highly relieved inside. "Alright, lad. Come on. Just don't make me regret this..."

* * *

Astrid sat in the open doorway, vacantly staring out into the gloomy morning. Rain still poured at a steady pace, both cold and unrelenting. She picked up her uncle's last bottle of wine, taking a generous drink to keep herself as numb as possible.

Her eyes traced over the horizon, while her mind told her she could simply run - far, far away where Reiner would never find her. She could forget about Delvin and his shaky plans for her future. She could forget her mother's tragic and untimely death. She could just dig up her remaining gold, start running, and never look back.

Astrid's vacant gaze began to harden, realizing that she couldn't do that. She didn't want to flee. Fleeing is what Delvin had done - what her _mother_ had done. She didn't want to be anything like them. It was then that Astrid realized that she no longer wanted peace. What she wanted - _yearned_ for was vengeance. She further realized that quick, cutting revenge wasn't going to please her either. No - she wanted to toy with Reiner as much as possible, just as he'd done to her. Risks were a mere footnote, for she couldn't have cared less. It was time she claimed what was rightfully hers, and what she felt truly entitled to at this point - his pain, in any shape or form she could muster to trigger it.

She drank another large gulp of wine, turning behind her to see the old farmhouse in all its disarray. She hadn't lifted a finger to clean it, or cook, or do anything she'd normally be required to do by that despicable monster. He'd just have to do it himself or kill her - that was, if she didn't kill him first.

Astrid stood when she heard his footsteps on the upper-level of the old house. She propped her back on the door facing, holding his wine close to her as she folded her arms across her chest.

He stayed silent as he slowly paced down the stairs, looking even more grimy and disheveled than he usually appeared. The look on his face told Astrid that she'd hit a nerve last night with her little comment about her mother - and she couldn't have felt more satisfied about it.

"Good morning, uncle..." Astrid spoke in a contrived act of politeness, practically tasting the malice in her own voice.

"What in bloody Nirn are you so chipper about? Nothin' good about it..." Reiner growled, seating himself at the kitchen table and rubbing his forehead. "And what are you doing with my drink, niece? Who told you to take my possessions? I damned well didn't tell you to."

"I didn't think you'd mind, uncle, seeing as you have nearly a whole pantry of ale and Skooma. You don't really care for wine that much, I've noticed." Astrid shrugged, taking another long drink from the bottle in front of him, smirking. "Now I see why you love this stuff so much. It really helps with forgetting things. I'm sure you can understand. You may have more regrets than I do." she said, narrowing her eyes.

"What in Oblivion is that supposed to mean, girl? You think you're being funny?" he snapped, while Astrid simply stood, staring into his bloodshot eyes.

"It means exactly as I said. A person like you must have many regrets. You know..." Astrid spoke, slinking over to sit across from him. "To be coexisting together, we know very little about each other, don't you think?"

"What do you care? You gonna try to butter me up so I'll go easy on you from now on? Look, I already know you're a lyin' little wench, so being all chummy with me ain't gonna work, girl." he muttered, glaring at her.

"Why so defensive?" Astrid raised an eyebrow. "Did it ever occur to you that I could possibly be curious?" she inquired, trying to appear as innocent as possible.

"Well, you never seemed to give a rat's arse before, young Astrid. I've dealt with crooks, thieves, and the like for the better part of my life. I can tell a liar when I see one." he snorted. "You may look like Nona, but you sure as Oblivion don't act like her. You got too much of your bloody father in you, niece." he snarled, appearing bitter by simply remembering that man.

Astrid seethed internally, feeling disgusted from being compared to either of those two. Even more so, being compared to her _mother_ , of all people. Her father may have been a monster, but her mother was nothing more than a self-righteous martyr. At least a monster was simply a monster. The latter could be far more dangerous, Astrid reasoned, for the "good" people in her life were the ones that had dealt her the most damage. They were more subtle and devious, dragging her down into harm's way without her realizing it until it was too late.

"I take it my mother was a very kind woman, then." Astrid simply replied, not allowing Reiner to see her true feelings about the matter.

"Yeah, well, she was too kind for her own good." Reiner muttered, his hands clenching into fists. Apparently, the man grew tense just thinking about her. "She let that bastard father of yours take advantage of her. No matter how she was treated, that woman just couldn't say 'no'."

Astrid glared into his eyes, noting the subtle hints of jealousy in Reiner's features. "I guess she never said 'no' to you, either." she provoked. "That is, until she met my father."

"...What?" Reiner shot her a look, his expression a mixture of rage and something unsettling beneath his surface.

"I simply mean that she must have been a very good sister to you, uncle." Astrid remarked, feigning innocence once more.

"Well, she wasn't a damn thing like you, if that says anything!" he spewed, standing up abruptly to get himself a drink. It must have been the memories - the _guilt_ , Astrid mused - that made him want that particular numbing effect. All the ale in Skyrim wouldn't be able to wipe away what he'd more than likely committed.

On the outside, Astrid calmly sat sipping on her wine and appearing indifferent. On the inside, however, she couldn't have been more happy with herself. This side of herself - the one she'd tried so hard to fight - was so freeing. Allowing herself to dive into the darkness was much like seeing life in a whole new way. She could finally travel to the forbidden recesses of her mind, where she could hone in on Reiner and see him for what he truly was. Now, she could slowly wound him on the inside, while waiting for Delvin's crew to wound his external layer. Even more freeing was the fact that if Delvin didn't deliver, she could put an end to Reiner whenever she fancied.

* * *

Astrid stared out from her bedroom window at the midday sky, which was still an ominous shade of gray from the stormy weather. Reiner had previously decided to go out to Riften for supplies, leaving Astrid alone for the day. She figured he simply wanted to leave because he was sick of looking at her for the day, and she was quite content with that. He wasn't exactly pleased with her as of late. Not that he ever had been, or ever would be.

She gazed into the distance, wondering just how much abuse her mother had put up with before she built up the courage to finally leave. She then curled her lip in disgust, slowly turning away from the light of day and walking to the vanity in the dim corner of her mother's old room.

She slowly slid a drawer open, pulling out the old Amulet of Mara and dangling it, watching its tarnished form gleam dully in the faint grey light. Her mother had terrible taste in men, Astrid thought to herself. If her father had been the lesser of the two evils, that was certainly saying something. That type of jealousy - the twisted, deluded sickness that etched itself all over Reiner's face - was both diabolical and unnatural. It had no right to be there, festering and spreading about like a plague. He was a sick, disgusting being. If Astrid did have any love left, or pity, it would be for her mother, even if the woman was pathetic.

A loud, urgent knock on the front door caused Astrid to return to the present. She carelessly dropped the amulet back on the vanity and left the room to see what all the ruckus was about. Opening the door, Astrid met eyes with Delvin, who had appeared pitifully worried.

"Yes?" Astrid raised a brow.

"Astrid! Look, I called in a favor. Me an' my people will be here tonight, luv. We'll teach that son of a bitch a thing or two." Delvin glared, his eyes now full of anger. Now, that look suited him much better, Astrid mused, smirking.

"I expect to see good things tonight, Mallory." she warned.

"I take it we're still on a 'last name' basis, then..." he mumbled, seeming disappointed by her reaction.

Astrid simply chose to ignore his negative emotions. "Reiner left earlier today. He should be back by nightfall. I'll be here, too." she hinted, making sure Delvin was aware that she wasn't budging from her position.

"I know, luv. I know..." he sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Look, just don't let my people get a good look at ya - especially Brynjolf. The man's already wary, as it is. Hide if ya have to. It's really best if you stay outside. They're gonna be raiding the whole house. They'll probably find you if you're in there."

"Very well. I'll see what I can do." Astrid spoke, not amused by the idea of missing out on a good view of Reiner's impending doom.

"I...uh...guess that's it, then..." Delvin fumbled about his words, averting his eyes from her. She could sense his uncertainty and hurt, and she chose to ignore that as well. It was certainly more convenient that way.

"That's it," she stated coldly.

"Look, luv. I dunno what's goin' on inside of ya, but I just wanna tell ya that-" Delvin began, only to be promptly cut off by Astrid.

"We can talk more once you keep your word, Mallory." she insisted. "I'll see you tonight."

"Alright, Astrid...I'll see you tonight..." Delvin nodded, looking at the ground, before slowly turning and walking away.

He may have been upset, but Astrid had no room to bother herself over his feelings. She'd simply watch and wait, and hope that Reiner would suffer greatly for his transgressions.


	18. Chapter 18: Exhilarated

**A/N:** _Hey everyone! First of all, I'm sorry that this was a little late. I've been out of town for a few days, and I didn't have the time to finish this chapter before I left. Of course, I'm back in business now lol! Here's chapter 18, hope you guys enjoy! Thanks to all who have read/reviewed/fav/followed thus far - you guys rock! Have a good week folks!_

* * *

Chapter 18: Exhilarated

Astrid stood behind a large tree, gazing at the farmhouse in the distance. The rains had subsided and the clouds had begun to part ways, allowing the twin moons to paint the landscape in a haunting glow. Long ago, the faint candle lights in the house had been snuffed out, and her uncle now lay sprawled across his bed in an alcohol-fueled daze of slumber.

How long she had been waiting, she could not recall - the anticipation of seeing that monster suffer had somehow blurred the passing of time. Though it had yet to happen, Astrid could already hear Reiner's pleas and smell the coppery scent of his blood in the air. If things were to happen as she'd planned, he would be without a coin or valuable to his name, his body damaged, and his ego severely battered. And, of course, if she wasn't satisfied by that point, there were always _other_ methods to sate her appetite for his pain. What Delvin didn't know, certainly wouldn't hurt him.

Suddenly, faint forms in the distance alerted Astrid to the guild's presence. Like a swarm, around a dozen silent silhouettes began to emerge from the shadowy depths, enveloping the house like a plague. Unconsciously, Astrid took a step out from her place of hiding, closer to the anarchy that was about to ensue.

She suddenly halted, catching herself pacing toward the farmouse. Did she really want to take the risk of being seen by Delvin, the guild, or even Reiner himself? One wrong move, and things could go terribly, horribly awry. Astrid sighed, stepping back to her hiding spot. At least if she stayed put, she could ensure that Reiner would be beaten senseless, and that he'd remain completely unaware of her involvement in his current misery.

Crossing her arms irritably over her chest, Astrid sighed, despising the fact that she could do nothing - _see_ nothing of Reiner's pain. Out of the corner of her eye, Astrid noted that a single, dark figure was searching about the property. Delvin. He probably wanted to make sure she was staying put - trying one of his attempts at keeping her out of harm's way.

Her eyes narrowed, watching him wander about aimlessly in search of her. Every hair on her body began to stand on end, and every nerve suddenly became raw and frayed. Why did she have to listen to _him_ , anyway? What purpose did it truly serve her to stay out of the guild's sight? She wasn't about to join the likes of _them_ \- of that, she was more than certain. Who did she have to fear? Reiner would remain in an oblivious stupor. She wouldn't let him lay eyes on her. Other than that, she was _free_ \- free from rules and restrictions. A malicious grin formed on her lips, as she happily reminded herself that she could very well do as she pleased.

Noticing that Delvin had wandered out of her sight, she began to sneak toward the farmhouse. A beautiful symphony of loud bangs and muffled screaming began to fill the heavy night air. The closer she crept, the more her heart began to pound with excitement. The front door of the house was carelessly flung open, and she simply glided in, unnoticed.

The kitchen table had been flipped over, and every cabinet or dresser had been purged of their contents. Astrid's smile only grew, as she carefully slinked up the stairs, following the enticing trail of his screams and the violent efforts of the guild members. She hunkered down on the staircase, hiding in the shadows and watching as members of the guild pillaged the upper floor.

Her eyes widened, hearing the sound of Reiner's punishment. What was she doing still hiding in the shadows? This was _her_ home, and this was _her_ mission. She didn't fear the guild. She wanted to see - she had every right to see. There were no consequences, only rewards - particularly the reward of seeing that monster's anguish.

Astrid slowly stood, emerging from the darkness, as a few members turned, falling still when they laid eyes on her. They must have remembered her from the Ratway, for they didn't react - they simply stood. Watching. Waiting.

Feeling quite satisfied with herself, Astrid followed her uncle's wails and snarls, and the brilliant melody of flesh striking upon flesh. Adrenaline began to surge through her veins when Reiner suddenly fell silent. Now was her chance. Now was the moment to see, and feel, and drink in his torment. He was certainly dead to Nirn at this point, and he would never know. It would be her perfect secret - a beautiful, magnificent gift to herself.

Astrid inhaled deeply, stepping into the faint light of Reiner's room that had been spilling through the open doorway. His door had nearly been torn from its hinges. She stepped in, her heart nearly pounding out of her chest, when her eyes fell on his defeated body. Two hooded figures held him, while another two stepped away from him. Suddenly, the two members holding him allowed his limp form to fall to the floor. None of the members reacted to Astrid - they knew who she was. They simply remained silent.

She scanned about his room - all of which had been destroyed and robbed of anything he held dear.

"...Astrid?" A form undetected in the corner removed his hood. Brynjolf stared at her, his face seeming blank and emotionless. "Why are you here, lass?"

Astrid simply met his gaze, sensing that he had felt quite surprised by her unexpected arrival. "Why am I here, you ask? I live here..." she purred, her eyes moving back to the sight of her uncle. She inhaled once more, taking in the faint traces of blood and sweat in the air, her heart now throbbing with the rush of it all. She turned back to Brynjolf, who seemed to appear as if he'd found her moment of elation a bit unsettling. "You do good work. The only way this could get any better is if you decided to kill him." she stated calmly, stepping out of Reiner's room and making her way out of the silent farmhouse and out into the night.

* * *

"Astrid?! Where in Nirn is that girl...?" Delvin muttered to himself in a panic. He'd searched the whole property, and hadn't found one trace of her. He began to feel ill as he realized that perhaps him not finding her may not have been a mistake.

He stopped, scratching his head and sighing in defeat, before turning to head to the front of the farmhouse. Haunting silence filled the air for what seemed like miles, as Delvin stood, eyes wide, staring into the gaping doorway. She couldn't be in there, could she? A large part of him dreaded the answer.

Delvin cautiously headed to the upper floor, noting where a door had nearly been torn off. Dim firelight spilled onto the hallway from the room inside, and he swallowed hard, deciding to follow it.

There, he met with Reiner's unconscious body, surrounded by his fellow members, and among them was none other than Brynjolf.

"I see you've done a number on 'em, Bryn. I can't thank ya enough for such good work-"

"Stop it, lad." Brynjolf demanded, his tone calm, yet stern.

"What do ya mean, 'stop it'?" Delvin gave him a leary look, feeling something unnerving travel through his mind and body.

"Enough with the lies, lad. I know she's here. She just dropped in to see our work, Delvin." Brynjolf continued, stepping out from the shadows.

"Who..." Delvin began, before being cut off once more.

"Astrid, damnit! You know who, lad! Now, stop with the lies!" Brynjolf spat, storming up to him, his face mere inches from Delvin's.

"Look, Bryn, I can explain-"

"No, Delvin! You lied to me. You told me this had nothing to do with that girl! I nearly let her into our guild, for Nocturnal's sake! Do you know what that would have cost me, if Mercer had found out that I'd been so careless?! What it would have cost _you_?!" Brynjolf yelled, poking a finger into Delvin's chest.

"Fine, then! Bloody fine, Bryn! I know I lied, damnit! That son of a bitch right there was beatin' the blue blazes outta' her! I couldn't just sit back and let him kill her, too!" Delvin countered, pointing a finger at Reiner's body. "What in Oblivion do ya expect me to do?!"

"Look, if you wanted to help her, even call in a blasted favor, that's your business, Delvin! But you should have never tried getting her in! Mercer would have both our heads if he knew about this! She's a liability - her uncle is bad blood to us! You don't just let your enemies walk right into your territory!" Brynjolf fumed, still in Delvin's face, causing him to grow more livid by the second.

"Astrid ain't no enemy! You'd better watch that mouth before you go makin' assumptions..." Delvin growled, refusing to back down.

"...Astrid...did...this...?" a weak, raspy voice bounced off the walls of the dark room, causing Delvin to grow as silent as death. His stomach began to churn, and his heart began to palpitate. No. Not this. Everything was unraveling - falling apart before his very eyes. He slowly turned to see Reiner slumped over, eyes barely open, and still completely aware.

"Brynjolf - damnit, order them to finish him! He's not out! Take him off somewhere! Get him away from here, at least until I find her!" Delvin yelled, his anger turning into sheer panic.

"You expect us to waste more time and resources messing with this, Delvin? We'll knock him out, but I ain't taking him anywhere. Besides, she's gone. She left before you even stepped foot inside this house! If you wanted to see her so badly, then you should have found her when we arrived!" Brynjolf fumed, nodding to another guild member, who smashed a bottle upside Reiner's head, finishing the deal.

"I _did_ search for her, Brynjolf! I couldn't find the blasted girl anywhere!" Delvin remarked, exasperated.

Brynjolf sighed, crossing his arms. "Then doesn't that speak enough volume in itself? She clearly knew your plans, and the girl avoided you and barged right in here. She didn't care if she was found out, lad. If you ask me, it's for the better..."

"Why would ya say a thing like that?" Delvin snarled.

"Look, Delvin. I know you care about her, but the girl isn't right. She came in here, took one look at Reiner, and the look on her face...She's unhinged, Delvin...Let it go..." Brynjolf warned.

Suddenly, white hot anger shot up inside of Delvin, as he shoved Brynjolf so hard he stumbled back, hitting the wall. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU BASTARD! SHE AIN'T NO DEVIANT!"

A swift punch to the face, and Delvin found himself staggering to the ground, being constrained by his fellow members. Brynjolf stood over him, with a pitied look on his face.

"This is not like you, lad. Just look at yourself! Look at what she's done to you! You're already raving around here like a crazed lunatic, looking for a way to save someone who doesn't want you to save them! Leave her alone!" Brynjolf demanded, causing Delvin to cringe, in realizing that at least some part of what he was saying rang true.

Brynjolf ordered the others to bind Delvin's hands, while he continued to try and talk sense into him - presenting Delvin with truths that he did not want to face. "Look, if you were anybody else, I'd already have told Mercer I thought that woman was bad news. I didn't though - for your sake. My gut told me you were lying to me all along. If anything, I could let our Guild Master know the truth and have you thrown out on your ass! But I ain't going to do that, lad. We've known each other a long time, Delvin..." Brynjolf continued, his tone softening to an emotion more akin to hurt than anger. "You're like a brother to not only me, but to the rest of us. You've been with us for so long, and you're one of our best thieves. Just...let this one go, lad. What you do concerning that girl is your own business, but know this - we can't let her in, understand?"

Delvin knew the man was speaking sense - and good sense at that. He didn't want to betray his family for the pure spite of it. He simply wanted to help a woman that was far too untrusting to be helped. If anything, Brynjolf should have made him stop with Astrid long ago, but he gave Delvin the benefit of the doubt. Delvin sighed, nodding in defeat. "Yeah...I know, Bryn...I know..." he whispered, letting the ache of losing her sink into his bones, where he knew it would fester and leave its own trail of scars in his memory. He couldn't leave his only family for her, when they were all he truly had. Astrid, however much he wanted to help her, comfort her, and protect her, was simply out of his grasp. He still loved her, and he'd still check on her if she'd let him, but his days of rescuing her were truly over. "You can untie me now, Bryn. I'm ready to go home..."


	19. Chapter 19: Shattered

**A/N:** _Hello everyone! Thanks to all who have followed/fav/reviewed! It means a lot to me that you guys are enjoying my story! Well, here goes...on to chapter 19! It's another big turning point in my story! See you next time and have a great week!_

* * *

Chapter 19: Shattered

Astrid grinned deviously, watching from afar as the last remnants of the thieves' guild disappeared off into the night. She had been formulating a plan - trying to find the right words to say to Reiner to remove herself from any suspicion. That was, until a howl - like that of a wolf, only much more powerful - echoed across the large expanse of land behind Reiner's farmhouse. Astrid's muscles tensed, as the cattle began to bellow and huddle together under the pale moonlight.

Astrid didn't find herself to be afraid of much, but this _thing_ , whatever it was, seemed to shake her in a way she hadn't experienced before. There was something otherworldly about it, and the damage it was capable of inflicting. It was alluring, and yet terrifying at the same time. Another piercing howl, and Astrid found herself briskly walking to the farmhouse once more.

...

Astrid stood in the entrance of the farmhouse, letting herself become engulfed in the shadows of the night. She felt simply elated at the moment, despite the bit of uneasiness that the powerful creature had induced inside of her. She listened to the howls in the distance, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. She smiled, taking in the outcome of her circumstances - taking in Reiner's silence and enjoying it to the fullest extent.

She calmly glided through the aftermath, soaking in the damaged state of his home as she proudly made her way to the upper floor. Perhaps she'd tell him they had held her captive, or that she had hidden herself from the thieves out of fear. Truthfully, any old excuse would do - Reiner was a complete moron, anyway. It wouldn't take much to convince him to believe her.

Astrid smirked to herself, shooting a knowing glance toward Reiner's room before entering her own, which had remained in a disheveled state ever since that bastard had nearly beaten her to death. Nothing new there.

Surprisingly, none of her things had been taken. Perhaps the guild didn't think removing her dresses would do much damage to her uncle. Astrid walked to her dresser, which remained in utter disarray, grabbing her deep green, velvety dress from out of the drawer. She then stepped up to her vanity, pressing the dress to her body and eyeing herself in the mirror. Her eyes moved to the old amulet she'd left laying there.

 _Nona..._ She thought, running her tongue over her smiling lips. Reiner thought she looked so much like her mother - and yet - seemed so very, very different. Now he would come to know just how _different_ she was.

* * *

Astrid stood in front of her vanity, gliding her hands down the silky fabric of the deep emerald dress she was now wearing. She couldn't quite fathom why she had such a strong urge to wear the dress at the moment, but the whole circumstance practically begged her to don it, if not for the sheer irony of it all. Green was her mother's favorite, after all. Perhaps she simply wanted Reiner to be reminded of the ghosts of his consciousness, while simultaneously realizing his complete and utter downfall.

Astrid simply couldn't help herself - it was all just too pleasing to ignore. She eyed the tarnished amulet, sighing to herself.

"Mother, Mother, Mother...You never did enjoy violence, did you? Ah, but little did you know...that I _did_..." she grinned to herself, rubbing the old chains of the amulet between her thumb and forefinger. Lost in a hazy bliss, Astrid strolled away from the vanity and down the stairs, until her foot met with an unknown object laying in the floor.

"Ah..." Astrid purred, picking up what was, quite possibly, the last bottle of alchohol in his demolished house. One of the thieves must have dropped it - they were a sloppy bunch, weren't they? It happened to be wine, of all things. Perfect.

* * *

Astrid sat in a chair next to the fireplace, sipping gingerly from her bottle and watching the flames both caress and destroy the wood engulfed in them. The eerie silence that the unknown being had caused had continued well into the night, and though it had now ceased its unsettling calls, the haunting air of quiet had remained long after.

Like the burning heat of the fire before her, Astrid also felt a burning inside - a burning that lingered and grew hotter than anything she'd ever felt before. The waves of satisfaction and the undertow of euphoria began to tug at her insides, pulling her into its current. She'd never felt so alive and full of power in her whole life. The possibilities were truly endless.

She could quite literally do as she pleased forever. She could leave Reiner damaged and without a coin to his name, dig up her own funds, and travel all of Tamriel. She had always wanted to see if the Imperial City was truly as large as she'd heard it was. Then again, she could stay at the farmhouse and drive him completely mad first, and just the mere thought of it had set her very soul on fire. She could always travel later, she decided.

The moment that she had genuinely felt the most euphoric, powerful, and invincible, however, was the moment that her mind had completely left her at her most fragile, vulnerable, and open to being completely broken.

Astrid had been so mesmerized and completely wrapped up in her enticing thoughts, that she had not heard the stifled breath in the dark, or the creaking of the old floorboards as they buckled under his weight. It was not until she felt a different heat - the searing heat of pain as an unknown object bashed the back of her skull - that she had felt completely and utterly _weak._

Feeling suddenly as if her world had caved in, Astrid stumbled to her feet, staggering a few steps before turning to face him. She winced, as the sting of blood hit her eyes. She tried unsuccessfully to wipe it away, and just as unsuccessfully to focus her blurry vision.

Reiner was hunched over, holding his abdomen. His form was bloody and battered, and in his eyes were traces of something much like a feral beast. Astrid, left without anything to say, simply glared back into his eyes with a fire of her own.

"Have you gone mad, uncle?" she asked finally, attempting not to sway as she stood on wobbly legs. "If you didn't notice, it wasn't me who nearly killed you in there, you fool."

Reiner curled up his bloody lip, laughing wildy. "Ah, you really are a piece of work, niece! You really think me to be so foolish? I know damned well what you've done...Next time you try somethin' like this, you'd better tell your little friends to keep their bloody traps shut about it!"

"...What are you saying?" Astrid remarked, her voice sounding far more nervous than she'd hoped it would. As a matter of fact, she was feeling something she'd rather have not at the moment, and it was fear.

"That worthless bunch of thieves you call friends...One of 'em let it slip. I know it was you, Astrid." he grinned, before falling silent and glaring at her in such a manner that her whole body froze in place.

"You stay away from me..." Astrid warned, as Reiner began to stalk in her direction with a certain burning in his eyes she'd never witnessed before.

"I already told you, you're mine, Astrid. I can do as I wish with you, girl..." he growled, as she backed away with every step he took.

The front door. She needed to get out of that house, and fast.

Without warning, Astrid spinted toward the door, only to have Reiner grab her by the hair, yanking her forcefully back, before slamming the door shut and standing in front of it, ensuring there was no way out.

Astrid, now fearful and full of adrenaline, clammered up the stairs. Why had she been so weak? Why had she never explored the possibilities of her plan never working out? Why did she have any hope that things would all work out for her in the first place? Her life had never been anything but a disgusting mess - one big, disgusting, pathetic wasteland.

She ran inside her room, well aware of the fact that he could still get in, since he'd all but torn her door from its hinges from their previous encounter. Still, she tried pitifully to shut and hold it in place, before the raging man ran into it, knocking her down to the floor.

Astrid strumbled up to her feet, her gaze meeting his. "What are you gonna do to me, uncle? Are you going to finish what you started?" she spat, her fear now turning into rage-filled defiance. If he was going to murder her, she'd make sure to fight him until the bitter end.

"You're mad, girl...Completely mad..." Reiner growled, seeming to loom over her. "I told you, I own you now, you little bitch, whether you like it or not..."

"Like what? Like cattle, right? Just like _Nona_ , right? I bet _she_ did exactly what you wanted..." Astrid hissed, nearly foaming from the mouth.

"LEAVE NONA OUT OF THIS!" Reiner yelled, hitting Astrid with such force that she staggered back against the wall. Reiner walked up to her, each hand against the wall beside her, pinning her in. His face now inches from her own, his eyes blazed with pure hatred. "You come in here, and you think you know all about me and your mother, huh? You think you got me all figured out, don't you? I know what you're thinkin' - that I'm a sick bastard for what I did, eh? Well, it wasn't like that, you little bitch! She was all I had! UNDERSTAND?! My Ma' was dead and my father nearly beat me to death on a regular basis just cause he could! SHE WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD!" he screamed, his saliva hitting Astrid's face and causing her to shut her eyes tightly.

When she opened them, she stared straight into the eyes of the beast. They were raging, vengeful, and full of the deepest, most twisted hatred she'd ever seen. Reiner's whole body was trembling from rage, as a single tear trailed down the corner of his right eye.

"But you, my dear niece...You ain't even close to her..." he growled, his voice shaking with white, hot rage.

Astrid's whole body filled with a horrified, revolted feeling. That look in his eyes made her want to gouge them both out. He was a filthy, despicable stain on the plane of Nirn, and his existence was toxic, killing her with every breath. The burning fire of deep, all-encompassing anger began to flood through her veins. She understood the monster now, as he stood before her in his true form. Astrid realized what kind of evil he truly was, and what kind of power he truly wanted. The most terrifying part of it all was that she truly believed he would do anything, and take anything from her at this point, and she realized with deep regret that she was right.

Even if she were to fall victim to his sick acts of revenge, she wouldn't go down without trying her best to murder him. She merely glared into his malevolent eyes, before spitting in his face in an act of bitter defiance. He was a sick man, and a vile soul who would never gain her approval or sympathy in an manner.

It was that single act of defiance that began his malicious acts of retaliation against her person. At first there was a struggle - he hit her, and she fought back as hard as her body would allow her.

Astrid screamed and writhed, digging into his skin until she felt his blood pool beneath her fingernails. She bit and kicked, realizing that she was fighting for not only her life, but for a part of her very soul as well. The ways that he began to harm her, much to her deepest, darkest horrors, were ways that she knew would damage her in too many ways to comprehend. The violation was far more than skin deep - it was to her very being. No amount of hitting, or clawing, or biting, or scratching was stopping this completely vicious and cruel act.

Time and all sense of being had slowed to a grinding halt. The world seemed hauntingly silent, and nothing made sense anymore. At one point, all Astrid could do was mentally leave her body. She could only look helplessly into the far corner of her room, desperately attempting to distract herself from the intense trauma. Her eyes fixated on a moth that fluttered frantically, caught hopelessly in a spider's web. She watched in horror, as the moth was wrapped up by the hungry spider, struggling less and less, until it was permanently silenced, never to flutter again.

She was that moth.

* * *

Dazed and feeling nauseas with pain, Astrid sat in her bed, hugging her arms around her knees. Time was still moving in slow motion, and her life seemed to have lost any semblance of reason or hope.

The monster had successfully trapped his prey and tormented her to the fullest extent without actually taking her life. Was this the same hopelessness that her mother had felt when the monster had destroyed her as well? Why did she wait so long to leave Reiner, if that was what he had been doing to her? _Repeatedly._ This was one time that Astrid truly regretted being right about something.

In a mere matter of moments, her life had been completely turned upside down. Astrid felt intensely ashamed, disgusted, and completely stupid for allowing herself to succumb to his vile acts. However, unlike her Mother, she wasn't about to let the situation repeat itself, as it was destined to do.

Astrid heard Reiner's delirious yelling from outside the farmhouse, where he decided to go after he'd found a bottle of Skooma that the thieves had failed to snatch. She hated him with every inch of her being. After what had happened, she hated herself nearly as much. Why did she insist on sticking around? Why was she such an idiot?

She cringed as she held her abdomen, stepping off her bed and sitting at the vanity, where she stared at her blank, hollow expression in the mirror. Astrid now firmly believed that she was never meant to be happy in this life, and that the fates were truly against her in every way possible. She was not meant for a life of peace and freedom to do as she pleased. She was not meant to live life in any way that did not lead to darkness. Her life, she realized, had been born into darkness, and now darkness was her only hope.

An eerie howl broke the silence once more, as Astrid grabbed Nona's old amulet, eyeing it in her hand. Her mother had let that monster take and take from her, and now he had taken from her own daughter as well. Delvin was no help either, and both of them had their precious false senses of morality and vain codes to live by.

Nobody once believed in Astrid's way, and even at her worst, she'd held back, if only for their sakes. They were both monsters hidden in priests' robes, Astrid firmly decided. They were monsters. Reiner was a monster. Maybe now it would finally be her turn.

Another piercing howl in the distance sent a shiver up Astrid's spine. That beast out there was merely surviving, even if it had to slaughter others to do so. Why was she any different. It was easy for others to sit upon their high horses and look at her as if she was a cruel, cold person, but who had truly caused the other pain?

Her mother had sacrificed her to the monster, and Delvin watched it all happen and did nothing to completely stop it. Who were the real monsters here? Astrid squeezed the amulet so hard that her hand began to throb from her anger. She glared into the mirror, tears now in her eyes. She hated everything and everyone in this moment. Only one act would bring her any semblance of happiness, and she knew good and well what it was.

* * *

Beautifully brilliant shards of shattered glass flickered about, as Astrid smashed the amulet into the mirror before her. The broken glass glittered in the faint moonlight, resembling the flecks of white snow that fell from the colder areas of Skyrim. She could feel the icy, sharp tickle of the shards against her skin, though she kept her eyes open, not fearing that she would be blinded by the sharp edges.

She breathed in deeply, her hoplessness overtaken by adrenaline, as she eyed the floor for a long, sharp piece to drive into Reiner's flesh.

She smiled when she caught sight of a perfect shard, picking it off the floor and caressing it lovingly. She walked over to her window, watching her uncle stagger about the property in his drunken state.

With purpose, Astrid held her head high as she calmly left her room, pacing down the stairs and out the front door. Another long, haunting howl, and Reiner began yelling again. She finally understood that he'd been daring the hidden beast to show itself. She promptly decided that he'd been focused on the wrong beast.

The night had grown calm and the air was slightly chilled and heavy. The moonlight was splendid, giving her a perfect view of the true monster before her. Astrid could see by his mannerisms that he was completely out of his head from intoxication.

Astrid creeped behind him, drinking in the moment that would somehow satisfy her existence, though she knew it would never have the same effect now that he'd violated her in the worst of ways. However, with each careful step, she knew that this was what the fates had wanted from her all along. Only she wanted to see his blood on her hands more than they did.

She began to smile, stepping only inches from him, undetected. Her only regret was that she wasn't strong enough to subdue and torture him for hours first. Another howl, and some unknown movement at he edge of the woods, had caused Reiner to become hysterical, cursing and yelling at the beast. This was her chance - she couldn't risk losing it.

She stood from her position crouching behind him, gripping the sharp mirror piece so tightly that her palm began to bleed. This was the moment, and there was no going back. Astrid inhaled deeply, and with the natural precision of the most accomplished killer, she grabbed him from behind, and quickly and deeply slid the sharp edge over his throat.

Astrid backed away, dropping the shard to the ground as Reiner coughed and sputtered up blood, falling to his knees. He fell to his back, desperately writhing and gasping for air. Astrid felt her heart pounding in her head as she became exhilerated from the thrill of his demise. She stood over him, as his dying eyes focused on her. "N-nona?" he choked, more than likely delirious from severe blood loss.

Astrid grinned deviously, glaring into his dying eyes. "I'm not Nona. Remember that."

She watched as the last traces of life drained from his body, soaking in the sight of his death and reveling in every moment of it. However, the moment was cut short by a tall, ominous shadow standing not far from Astrid, apparently watching her from a distance. She gasped, as the gigantic beast she'd been so allured by, bolted back into the woods as it realized she'd caught sight of it.

For what reason she'd been so strongly drawn to it, she wasn't certain, but she found herself bounding after the wild form before she realized it.

"Wait! PLEASE! TELL ME WHO YOU ARE!" Astrid yelled, watching the large silhouette disappear deeper into the forest as she trailed behind. She didn't give up, however, for she wanted to see the face of whoever had the ability to kill and slaugher so freely. She couldn't help but feel a deep connection, and a deep impulse to seek that beast out. She may have been out of her mind for doing so, but she didn't care. She'd just slit Reiner's throat, for gods' sakes! Nothing after that act would ever seem normal again. Nothing about her life had been normal from the very beginning, for that matter.

Astrid hunkered down, watching and waiting, as she crept through the thick brush. In what seemed like a lifetime later, she heard a rustle in the forest not far from her. Astrid crept closer, watching in awe as a large, silver-maned Nord stood, pulling his shrouded armor into place. It was him - the assassin from the Ratway. Astrid held her breath, boldly stepping out where he could see her.

"I-I know you..." Astrid spoke, as the large Nord's steely blue eyes met with hers, glistening in the faint moonlight falling from between the treetops.

The large man took a couple of steps forward. "Is he dead?" he asked, his voice firm, but not threatening.

Astrid simply nodded, feeling entranced by the man's presence.

"Good. 'Bout time someone put that bastard out of his misery." he smirked, before turning away.

"W-where are you going?!" Astrid inquired worriedly, somehow fearing she'd never see the man again.

"Can't say." he answered bluntly, folding his arms.

"Will I see you again?" Astrid asked, hoping his presence wouldn't be lost forever. She couldn't understand why, but she felt so in tune with this man. He felt so right. He was a murderer like her. He wasn't weak or didn't look at her like she was some sort of deviant. He was actually _congratulating_ her for killing her uncle.

"Don't worry," he smirked. "You'll be seein' me again _real_ _soon_. Just clean that mess up, okay? Don't want those asshole guards throwing you in jail if they catch wind of this." he stated matter-of-factly, before disappearing into the dense brush.

Despite all of her inner pain, Astrid faintly smiled to herself, standing alone and drenched in blood. Even if a huge part of her felt shaken to the core with trauma, there was another twisted part of her that felt a bit relieved when she met eyes with the mysterious man. Perhaps not everything was hopeless. Maybe this wasn't the end, after all. Maybe this was just the beginning.


	20. Chapter 20: Damaged

**A/N:** _Hello, hello! Here's chapter twenty! Thanks to all who read/review/fav/follow! You guys are awesome! Hope you enjoy, and have a good week!_

* * *

Chapter 20: Damaged

Just hours before the break of dawn, fog hung heavy in the air, as Astrid dropped two blood-stained satchels into the old well on the property. She sighed, wiping her crimson-painted forehead, relieved that those were the last of him.

"Nobody will look here for a hundred years, will they...?" Astrid smiled wickedly, remembering the words he spoke about the ancient well. She looked into its pitch black depths, the smells of mold and metallic blood reaching her senses. It was all just a fading memory. "I guess this is goodbye, dear uncle, and good riddance..." she stated in a moment of catharsis, while lowering the rickety bucket into Reiner's tomb.

* * *

Astrid stepped into the large tub, feeling the hot water pleasantly scorch her skin. She lowered her body into the beckoning waters, watching the clear liquid become stained with blood.

Feeling completely satisfied and at peace for the first time in her life, she eyed the doorway, which she now left carelessly open. She had nobody to fear this time - not one person who would come in and viciously beat or violate her.

Sighing, she began to wash it all away, in every sense of the word. The red stains on her skin began to subside, falling into the cleansing waters that surrounded her. Perhaps her methods weren't applauded by most, but they were highly effective. Indeed. And even if Nona or Delvin would never accept it, she did know of one person who did. She could only watch and wait patiently to see him once more. Then she would ask him so many things, for so many new and exciting questions were whirling in her head at break-neck speeds. She simply couldn't wait to learn more about him - to get closer to him.

A satisfied smile painted itself across Astrid's lips, as she eyed the red-tinted waters that surrounded her body. The calming steam rose to the ceiling, evaporating just like those terrible memories were. She closed her eyes, slowly bringing her head beneath the crimson waters, before she opened them again. The world rippled and distorted with the waves as it previously had. The fates could merely be tempted, while she held the power of her own life in her hands, just as before. There was only one difference at this very moment, and it was that the world beyond was now stained with blood. His blood. It was complete. It was meaningful. It was powerful. It was _perfect_.

She held her breath until she felt as if her lungs would nearly burst, with her soul hanging between Nirn and whatever plane awaited, feeling freedom in her power to tempt fate and win. Finally she came up for air, gasping and fighting for oxygen, before finally catching her breath and donning a large, satisfied smile.

Things were different now, and they would never be the same again. Astrid decided she was quite alright with that.

* * *

Nearly a week had passed, and Astrid found herself to be more content than ever. Sitting against the large tree on the front of her property, she inhaled, soaking in the warmth of the sun and enjoying the serenity of the moment. She'd single-handedly cleaned up the farmhouse and maintained the gardens and livestock properly once more. The same dull, laborious tasks that had seemed like an unjust prison sentence were now feeling like actual accomplishments, and all because her situation had completely turned for the best.

As far as Astrid was concerned, she was the next heir to the large stead, and so she acted accordingly. It felt refreshing to be so in control of her surroundings, even if that control included keeping a presentable living space or milking a cow. It was simple, it was nice, and it was sorely needed.

There was only one thing that hadn't set right with her for days now, and that was the mysterious assassin who'd been stalking the property. Sure, it was obvious that he'd hunted there, but lately he hadn't been killing Reiner's livestock. What had he been doing there? What were his motives? The man certainly seemed to be happy that her uncle was no longer in existence. Mostly, however, she wondered when he would return, and what he would do when he did.

* * *

Astrid jumped, startled from her sleep, when the loud scurries and hisses of multiple unknown creatures could be heard near the farmhouse. She quickly threw her fur blankets aside and let her bare feet hit the cold wooden floor, pacing downstairs to see what all the ruckus was about.

She opened the front door of the house, feeling appalled as she noticed several large, rat-like Skeevers fighting amongst each other at the old well. Suddenly, her stomach twisted into knots, as she grabbed a small dagger from within the house - the dagger that she'd found on her uncle's dead body.

"GET OUT! GO! GET AWAY FROM HERE!" she screamed, running full-force toward two of the foul creatures, who happened to be fighting each other over a dismembered arm. Most of them ran at the sight of her, though she had to repeatedly stab one of the oversized vermin to death before things were all said and done.

Astrid stood, clothes stained in Skeever blood, eyeing the disgusting remnants of her uncle. She grimaced, turning her head to pick up the appendage before tossing it back into the well. She decided to plunge the rodent down there as well.

Astrid stepped away from the disturbing scene, grimacing from nausea, and nearly retching from the distinct odor of decay hitting her with such force. Suddenly, she fell to her knees, collapsing from not only the physical aspect of it all, but the horrific thoughts spinning inside her head, as well.

She didn't want to be reminded of him. Of his eyes - those piercing, burning eyes. Astrid didn't want to think of his flesh, or of his existence, or of the mark he'd left upon her that she could never remove. Hot tears began to flood from her eyes, as she sobbed without ceasing, for her emotions were far too profound to obstruct in any way.

For what seemed like hours, Astrid laid there, weeping and feeling the weight of Nirn on her shoulders. When she finally found a small semblance of relief, she then mustered enough energy to stand. She held herself, wiping at her tears, as she entered the farmhouse once more.

When she'd finally composed herself, she began to think of ways to rid herself of the currently repulsive situation. Perhaps she would need some supplies - viles of poison maybe - to rid her of pesky vermin who could possibly undo Reiner's burial. She then decided she'd clean herself up and promptly head to the alchemy shop in Riften. Perhaps she'd load up with a few supplies while there, she thought.

* * *

It was a clear night when Astrid rode the last stretch of the dirt path that led to her farmhouse. She'd already visited the alchemy shop and purchased as many viles of poison as possible. Then, Astrid bought a heavy sack of ingots to throw on top of that disgusting mess, to keep it down there once she piled a heap of dirt on the remains. It wasn't the most precise way to dispose of him, but it was the best she could do.

She breathed calmly in the cool night air, watching her breath twist and writhe to the heavens. The moons were full and bright, and the stars glittered just like the shattered mirror had. Astrid felt relieved, not only that Reiner was gone for good, but that her trip to Riften didn't force her to run into the likes of Delvin or his people. It was just her, and her alone. She was free. There was only one person she desired to see again, and he had yet to return. Of course, for some deep, uncanny reason, she believed the assassin would meet her again. The trouble was, she wasn't sure exactly when that would happen.

"Miss? Miss!" An unrecognizable voice chimed a distance away from her carriage, alerting her to stop her horse. She pulled the lantern off of its post, holding it up to see him. She could tell from his clothes that he either worked in a mine or was a beggar of some sort. He was tall, and scraggly, much like her uncle.

"What do you want?" she asked warily, her eyes daring the man not to step any closer.

"I was wondering if you were heading toward Shor's Stone. I have a little gold, and I can pay you to take me, if you'd like." he asked innocently enough.

Astrid remembered her younger years when her mother and father were still together, and they actually had a small carriage of their own. It was nothing out of the ordinary for them to help a wanderer out for a few gold coins. She'd even helped out a stranger or two in her life, but for some reason she couldn't answer the man. She simply froze, glaring into his eyes.

The young man had blue eyes - large, blue eyes with no traces of manipulation or malice lining them. And yet, in Astrid's eyes, they suddenly shifted, and the world fell darker than the blackest night, and his eyes were those green, piercing, burning eyes full of hate.

"Is everything alright, ma'am?" the man asked, raising a brow.

Astrid swallowed hard, feeling tense and shaky. Her heart began to pound, and she began to sweat profusely. She couldn't move. She could barely breathe.

"Ma'am?" the man took a couple of steps toward the wagon, holding out his hands, as if he thought she'd faint.

Then the concerned hands of a stranger turned into those hands - those damaging, evil, intrusive, wounding hands. His hands.

"Stop! Don't come any closer!" Astrid pulled out her dagger, pointing it at the stranger. All she could feel at the moment was an intense urge to defend herself, even if that meant tearing a complete stranger apart. Things felt shaky and out of her control, which further terrified her. "I-I'm not giving any rides. Go back to Riften. There's a carriage there." she managed to choke out her words.

"But ma'am, I don't have the coin for it. I barely have a handful, as it is." he spoke, and the guilt began to settle and seep into her emotions. However, she could not and would not take this man anywhere. She knew good and well that she may harm him for no good reason in such a state of mind.

"HERE!" she finally snapped, cursing and throwing a full coin purse to the ground. "NOW GO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" she yelled, hearing the feral tone in her frantic voice echo above the treetops.

The bewildered stranger slowly nodded with a horrified expression on his features, before turning back off the path and into the darkness.

Astrid stood on wobbly legs, attempting to compose herself.

"What just happened?" she whispered to herself, allowing her new dark secret to sink in. Perhaps Reiner's body was rotting in the well on her property, but his memory was very real and alive. It painted its form over other men, who could be potential threats, and it poured through her mind in a way that even frightened her. It made her angry. It made her terrified. It made her want to kill again.

* * *

Delvin sat alone in the corner of the Ragged Flagon, downing one of many tankards of mead. He knew he had no choice but to leave Astrid alone, but that hadn't made it any less painful for him.

He eyed the dim candle on his table, watching the flame dance and remembering how beautiful that girl was in the candlelight. Unfortunately, he also remembered how troubled and fragile she was at one time. That was, until her inner-demons had won the battle, causing that sweet girl to turn into something else far more dangerous.

What made matters worse was that he overheard another member speaking of seeing Astrid buy a large amount of poison earlier that day. Rumors were flying that she was in the process of killing Reiner, if she hadn't already. Delvin sighed, rubbing his forehead and fighting the urge to ruminate over it forever.

He couldn't help that he still loved her. He couldn't help that she made him want to do crazy things. Of course, those things were far past his moral compass and loyalties to ever commit. It had been days now, and still he couldn't get Astrid off his mind. He took another long drink, before deciding that he needed some closure. He didn't want things to end with her on this note. Even if he couldn't be with her anymore, he could still care for her. He simply needed to check on her to see if she was okay.

Delvin sighed, realizing that would truly finish things for him. Their brief amount of time in each other's arms would forever remain a memory, and he'd have to pick himself up and move on with his life. She may have followed the dark road, but in his eyes she'd always be that sweet, fragile girl. Forever.

He sighed, fighting the urge to shed tears over his loss. He quietly finished his drink, and stood with his head held low. Tomorrow he'd go check on her, and then he'd check no more. He only wanted to tell her that he would always love her, and that if she ever needed anything she could call on him.

Delvin walked down the dark, twisted paths and corridors, making his way to his bed. He snuffed out the nearby candle, now covered in only darkness and memories of her.


	21. Chapter 21: Appalled

**A/N:** _Hello everyone! Here's chapter 21, hope you enjoy! As per usual, a big thanks to all who read/review/fav/follow! See you guys next week!_

* * *

Chapter 21: Appalled

Traveling the final stretch of the dirt path to the farmhouse had been a whirling, agonizing experience for Astrid. She felt shaky, terrified, and completely out of her own body. Reiner had seemed to take over her insides - her very _being_. Not only had Astrid despised not being in control of her actions, but she had become extremely frightened as well. Though she hadn't killed the harmless man, she had deeply experienced the urge to do so. She likened the sensation to that of a fearful animal - full of impulse, high from adrenaline, and ready to strike at any moment. She had only desired to kill Reiner, not every man that crossed her path.

Astrid inhaled, her breath shaky and her heart pounding. She stopped the carriage when she reached her destination, loosening the mare from its restraints with trembling hands. She led the horse into its stable, exhaling a long breath and patting its muzzle as she stared blankly into the distance. She had to get a grip on herself, she decided.

She stood a moment, mentally attempting to become grounded again, before going back to unload her items.

Upon returning to the wagon, Astrid grabbed various satchels full of poisons, deciding she'd come back for the much heavier ingots thereafter. As she walked by the side of the carriage, a slight breeze blew, tussling her hair about, while she heard a strange noise provoked by the gale. It sounded much like a piece of parchment flapping wildly in the wind. It also sounded as if it was directly behind her.

Astrid turned to face the side of the wagon, pausing when she noticed that it was, indeed, a piece of parchment that had been nailed to its side. She immediately placed the satchels on the ground and tore the piece of parchment from its spot.

The wind and darkness were working against her advantage, as she held the mysterious note tightly and allowed her eyes to focus. Of course, what she saw on it caused her muscles to tighten and her skin to crawl.

The black imprint of a large hand was blotted on the paper, with the words "We Know" scribbled underneath it. Who knew? Did someone figure out that she'd killed her uncle? What would they do to her?

Fear and panic traveled up Astrid's spine, as she hastily grabbed her things and entered the farmhouse.

...

The fierce wind beat against the old house, causing random tree branches to thud and bang against its exterior. The sound echoed ominously throughout the shadow-laden, lifeless rooms.

Astrid seated herself at the kitchen table by the weak flame of a small lamp, as she eyed the mysterious note. She racked her brain trying to figure out who would know such a thing about her. Perhaps the Thieves' Guild may have realized it, but this wasn't their style at all. Perhaps a group of Reiner's clients had smelled the horrific odor from the well and figured it out. Maybe they were angry with her for cutting their business relationship with her uncle prematurely. Anyone who dealt with Reiner was obviously a dangerous person, and Astrid had no desire to be stuffed down the well next.

She grabbed a small bottle of ale from the pantry to calm her nerves, before walking over to the fireplace to light the tinder within.

As she watched the small flame begin to grow, she heard a slow, deliberate knock on the front door, causing her hair to stand on end.

She crept silently to peer out the window. When she caught sight of who stood there, she didn't know whether to grow more fearful or feel relieved. It was the Khajiit from before - the one that had informed her about her uncle's true motivations. She narrowed her eyes, as he stood, patiently waiting, before opening his mouth to speak.

"This one knows you dwell inside. Dar'Sien has not come to harm you..." he spoke loudly, while Astrid scanned his appearance to make sure he wasn't holding a weapon of any sort.

For what reason she wasn't sure, but Astrid believed that the Khajiit was telling the truth, for he'd never harmed her before. She stayed alert however, for there could be a first time for anything.

She slowly unlocked the front door, creaking it open.

A telling, feral grin spread across the Khajiit's maw. "Dar'Sien wishes to congratulate you. He also thinks your uncle is far too busy rotting in the well to join our celebration. Dar'Sien is happy to see Reiner meet such a deserving end."

"H-how do you know?" Astrid asked warily, narrowing her eyes.

"Clever Dar'Sien figured it out for himself..." he grinned, licking his sharp teeth. "He caught wind of the Thieves' Guild raiding your uncle's house and wounding his body. He heard rumors that you were going to poison Reiner and finish him off. Alas, Dar'Sien sees that the rumor traveled too slowly, for Reiner's smell is already rising from the depths..." he purred, his feline eyes gazing at the well in the distance.

"Yeah, the poison was to keep the Skeevers from dragging him out again." Astrid spoke, her voice trembling from memories of the horrific scene.

"Very good...Reiner is not fit for vermin to consume. It would be committing a terrible disservice to the Skeevers..." Dar'Sien mused, causing a faint smirk to fall on Astrid's lips.

"Would you like to come in?" Astrid asked, feeling a bit safer with the Khajiit around. Perhaps he would know what the threatening letter meant.

"Ah, Dar'Sien would love to." he answered, his voice smooth like velvet.

Astrid invited him to sit at the table, as he happily accepted her offer. He then calmly pulled out a bottle of Skooma and popped the cork, before taking a gingerly sip.

"Dar'Sien would love to know how Reiner met his demise. Would you oblige him?" he asked, offering her a drink.

"No thanks. I have my own." Astrid shot him a wary glance for his gesture, and he simply smiled.

"Dar'Sien understands. You do not trust easily. You understand the serpents of the world. You see their existence - how they wrap around a soul and squeeze the life out of it, before devouring it whole. Reiner was one of those serpents, was he not?" Dar'Sien asked, his eyes sharp and cunning.

"He was. I slit his throat one night while he was outside, staggering about intoxicated and out of his mind. He harmed me...in a very bad way..." Astrid admitted, her eyes averting from the Khajiit's interested gaze.

"Yes, he has harmed many women in various ways. Dar'Sien is not surprised by his actions. He is glad that you used Dar'Sien's information against Reiner. You are cunning to use the guild for your purposes. If there was anything Reiner loved as much as himself, it would be his prized possessions. You were wise to strip him of his belongings before doing away with him. It gives one much more pleasure to witness the suffering of the soul before the body dies, eh?" Dar'Sien remarked. Astrid had to admit, she felt much the same way.

She slowly nodded in agreement. "You could say that. Have you ever murdered anyone?" she asked, now curious about just who Dar'Sien really was.

"This one has done many things. Murder happens from time to time, when circumstances become too inconvenient for Dar'Sien to use alternative methods. Though, he does not lust for blood like some do..." he remarked, his fierce eyes honing in on her. "Not that lusting for death is a negative trait. Killing has its place. Tamriel needs murderers to ensure that the living appreciate the time they are gifted. It can be cut short very quickly, can it not?"

"If need be." Astrid answered casually, suddenly feeling as if she'd known Dar'Sien for a lifetime. Perhaps they could grow to become quite close friends - _if_ he could be trusted, of course. Instantly, she became reminded of the ominous note she'd received. "Hey, can I ask you about something?" she inquired, hearing the concern in her own voice.

"Dar'Sien is all ears..." he purred, slowly tapping his long claws on the table.

Astrid pulled the crinkled parchment from a small satchel on her belt. "This was nailed to my wagon. Do you have any idea what this means?"

The Khajiit took the paper, eyeing it with a look that seemed very close to disinterest. "Dar'Sien does not know. He has never seen such a symbol. Do you have any enemies?" he asked, smirking.

"I don't think so, now that Reiner's dead." she shrugged, not sure of who could be doing this.

"Hmmm..." the Khajiit hummed, while stroking his whiskers. "Perhaps Dar'Sien could be of service to you in some way. Would you like for him to keep watch tonight? He could do away with any attackers, if need be."

Astrid ran the thought over and over in her mind. Perhaps it would be a bit wise to have some extra eyes and ears around the property, just in case. Of course, there was a possibility that he could be an enemy in hiding. If that was the case, however, she'd be able to slit his throat as well. She'd always heard that a person should keep their friends close and their enemies closer. Perhaps she'd take that advice tonight. It would be better than turning him down, only for him to come back and kill her while she slept. Tonight she wouldn't be able to sleep, anyway.

Astrid shrugged, deliberately not showing any signs of concern."Sure. How much do I owe you?" There was also a possibility that he'd taken the opportunity to earn a profit, so she promptly tested said possibility.

The Khajiit grinned wickedly. "Consider this a gift, much like the gift you've given Dar'Sien..."

"What do you mean?" her brows furrowed, as Astrid found herself suddenly thrown off by his answer. If this wasn't about money, it could only be the other two scenarios - one of which included seeking vengeance for cutting off his dealings with Reiner. All that talk about hating her uncle could simply have been a ruse.

"You have been such fertile soil for Dar'Sien to plant his black seeds of doubt. Alas, they have grown into a large forest from which the wicked fruit of death landed firmly on Reiner's head. This one is grateful to see his demise..." he answered.

"But why? I know Reiner was a monster, but he did have a working relationship with you. What did he do to provoke you so much?" Astrid questioned him, hoping to get to the bottom of the Khajiit's true motivations.

"Let us say that Dar'Sien has been shorted quite a few coins over the years. This one took the short end of many bargains, simply because your uncle knew he held a weapon or valuable that Dar'Sien could find nowhere else. He took advantage of this one, but little did he know that lying to Dar'Sien usually comes with a price..." he said, taking much satisfaction in the fact that he had somehow aided in Reiner's death.

Astrid paused a moment, thinking it over. His story seemed plausible enough, but she'd keep a dagger under her pillow just in case. If someone was indeed after her, she would need Dar'Sien's services. However, if the enemy sat before her, then he'd meet the end of her blade very soon.

"I see...Very well. Just stay here by the front door, then. If anybody comes searching for me, take care of it." she declared, as a satisfied grin crept over his maw. She stood, heading for the staircase. "Don't come up here. Understand?" she spat, making sure he got the point.

He nodded slowly. "This one will honor your distrust." he purred, his tail flicking about playfully.

* * *

Astrid laid in her bed, clutching her uncle's old dagger tightly in her grip. She'd been laying for hours, pretending to be asleep and listening for the slighest of movements. However, silence filled the farmhouse in such a way that it seemed to make her regret her choice concerning the Khajiit. Hopefully, she hadn't underestimated his feline abilities. Could he possibly sneak up on her in a far less detectable manner than a man or mer? She certainly hoped not.

A loud thumping noise downstairs alerted her to jump out of bed and onto her feet, holding her dagger at the ready. She instantly bolted out of her room and looked over the railing to see Dar'Sien splayed out on the floor, appearing unconscious.

Astrid gasped, glancing about herself wildy and gripping the dagger even tighter than before. Suddenly, as she stepped down the stairs, she heard footsteps from every direction possible. Then, before she could focus her attention on just how many people were in the farmhouse, someone had pulled a tight, binding hood over her head, instantly blocking her vision.

She began to flail and stab wildly like a caged beast, feeling large, calloused hands grip her arms. She managed to forcefully stab the assailant with all her might, before the person forced her weapon from her grasp. A raspy, hushed hiss fell from the attacker's lips, causing Astrid to fight even harder. Another set of hands forced something foul smelling against her nose and mouth, causing her to choke and gag until she lost herself to the dark abyss of lost consciousness.

* * *

The thick fog of early morning still hung heavy in the air, as Delvin inhaled deeply, preparing himself to face Astrid for what could be the very last time. His hands were trembling, his heart felt torn apart, and his mind was a complete wreck.

He forced himself to walk up the dirt path, only to stop dead in his tracks as the foul odor of decay hit his senses. A deeply troubled look twisted on his face, as he nervously eyed the old well in the distance, where a pack of Skeevers fought amongst each other, feasting ravenously. Delvin quickly turned his head away, feeling the deep sensations of nausea and horror overcoming him.

Still, he had to see her one more time, despite everything. Brynjolf had been right - Astrid truly was making Delvin a bit crazy. He'd never in a thousand years dreamed he'd be visiting a dangerous, unhinged killer just to say he loved her and he'd always be around. Of course, before falling victim to his own self-deprecating thoughts, he reminded himself of how that very thing was exactly why he couldn't be with her. Sure, he was a bit twisted himself, but not like _that_. He'd simply have to love her from a distance. Permenantly.

He approached the door, his eyes growing wide when he noticed that it wasn't completely closed.

"Astrid?! You in there?" he called. Only silence answered him. Becoming fearful, he barged into the house, frantically searching the place over. It had been cleaned up nicely since the raid, but there were still signs of chaos and struggle within. Namely, a crimson-stained dagger and a small pool of blood on the staircase. "What in Nocturnal's name?" he gasped to himself.

"ASTRID! ASTRID!" he yelled, running outside in a panic. Still, there was no trace of her. "Oh, gods...What happened?" he whimpered, before turning back inside for a final look.

...

He retraced his every step, only to find no sign of her. He stepped back into the kitchen, heading toward the front door, when a crumpled piece of parchment caught his eye. He hunkered down, snatching it up from under the table. Delvin quickly unraveled it, only to find his heart plummeting to Oblivion. From the telling symbol of the Black Hand, to the cryptic message beneath it, he realized just how deeply Astrid was plunging.

"No..." he gasped, fearful tears forming in his eyes. He was far too late.


	22. Chapter 22: Inspired

**A/N:** _Hello everyone! Here's chapter 22, hope you enjoy! As always, thanks to all my readers out there!_

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Chapter 22: Inspired

The world was a blurry haze when Astrid opened her eyes. She violently coughed and gasped, nearly retching from the sickening feeling she was experiencing. Apparently, someone had concocted a poison of some sort to knock her out. Who, she wasn't quite sure of.

"I see you've come back to the land of the living. _For now_." A smooth, deep, and elegant voice stated, as Astrid struggled to focus on the unknown speaker.

As her vision began to fully return, Astrid realized that she'd been placed in some sort of underground room. She could feel the binding sting of a thick rope, as she looked down, seeing that she'd been bound tightly to a chair.

"Don't worry. We're not going to murder you. That will only happen if you let it." the deep, rich voice continued from behind her.

Suddenly, a dark figure stepped out from behind her. He was aged, tall, lean, and muscular. He had deathly crimson eyes and deep gray skin. His long, midnight hair cascaded elegantly over his shoulders, giving him quite a regal air about himself. If it was not for his peculiar, telling armor, Astrid would never had figured out what had happened.

"You're an assassin..." Astrid rasped, still coughing. "What are you going to do to me?"

"Ah, I'm not just _any_ assassin, dear Astrid. I'm _the_ assassin. I'm quite sure you realize who you're dealing with, so I'll make this a quick matter. I'm the leader of this sanctuary, and I'll soon be your leader, too. That is, if you choose wisely. If you join my family, you will be protected from our wrath and will reap many benefits from your decision." he explained, pacing slowly with both hands clasped behind his back. He then paused, shooting her a menacing glare. "However, if you do not, you will not be protected. Now, I'm not saying that the Dark Brotherhood will actively hunt you down and destroy you. However, since you murdered a very well-known illegal weapons dealer, you may face our wrath from...let's say...a vengeful third party."

"So you're telling me I'll be dead if I don't join the likes of you?" Astrid glared, feeling much like cornered prey. However, she said nothing further, for his words did sting harshly with the bite of truth. When she thought of the probability of that very thing happening, it seemed highly possible. Her days were more than likely numbered, whether she wanted to admit it or not.

"In a word, yes. Now before you grow fearful or form any doubts about being among my dear brethren, consider the possibilities - the positives, if you will..." he trailed off, before gesturing to someone just out of Astrid's view. Her eyes grew wide and rageful, when Dar'Sien slinked into the room. His maw curled into a sly grin as his feline eyes met with her own. No wonder the Dunmer knew her by name.

"Dar'Sien tells me wonderful things about you. I sense the hate in your eyes, but rest assured, he has done a great service to you. If it wasn't for the encouragement of he and Arnbjorn, I wouldn't have found you in time, and you'd be splayed in twine by a bunch of filthy rogues for permanently removing their business partner." he assured, grasping Dar'Sien's shoulder in his long, thin fingers.

"I don't even know anyone by the name Arnbjorn..." Astrid growled, still feeling bristled and tense. "Is this what you wanted, Dar'Sien?! Why did you lie to me?! What are you getting out of this?"

"Ah, your anger is most certainly misplaced. Dar'Sien is not one of us, though he is an extraordinary ally. He works as my own personal fence. The only thing he will receive is my payment for helping us gain such a worthy recruit. He, as well as myself, know much of your nature. Tell me, Astrid, what is it that keeps you from embracing us with open arms?" the Dunmer asked, holding out his arms in a grandiose, welcoming gesture.

"You mean besides the fact that you abducted me and trapped me in this room?!" she spat, unable to calm herself, despite the fact that she probably was safer where she sat. It wasn't so much that her fear remained, but that she hated being unable to control the situation, even if it proved to be a positive one in the end.

"Those are merely standard protocols that we must take. Given how viciously you attacked Arnbjorn, I'm grateful we still take those precautions. He and Nazir had quite the time handling you. " he explained, spouting off yet another unrecognizable name.

Astrid inhaled deeply, beginning to relax in her chair. If they had wanted to kill her, she would've been dead by now. She then tried to calm herself in order to hear him out. "Well, I thought someone was going to murder me. What do you expect?" she countered, waiting to hear his cause.

"It is _exactly_ what I expect. I need members like you. I can see it in your eyes, Astrid. I can feel it in your presence. You are one of us..." his voice lingered, pouring out like a smooth, dark wine into the room. She had to admit, he had some sort of seductive quality about himself - perhaps a dark, refined charisma that she couldn't deny. He held such a powerful presence, that it seemed to fill the whole atmosphere.

"How so?" she raised an eyebrow, keeping her voice low and calm as she felt his allure begin to draw her in.

"You've been out _there_ , haven't you? You've been in the realm of those that are normal, healthy, good, and right-minded. I was there once, too. That is, until I broke the barrier between man and divine, between life and death, between Nirn and the Void. Where those weak mortals feared to step foot, I plunged into the depths. Where most men trembled and cowered, I drew my blade and chose freedom. So did you, Astrid. Have you not been divided from those you once thought were your family, simply because you saw the world in a whole, new way? Did those that thought they were of higher morality decide you were far too wicked for their love? Well, you were not the only one. I lost lovers, friends, and brothers to my decisions. However, they didn't witness the dark threads of fate that decided to sew themselves into my life so fondly. They didn't love me. They judged me. You will have no judgement here, Astrid. You will only have freedom." he spoke, his words brimming full of power and prestige, and with an understanding of her psyche that she had never encountered before.

It was as if this fellow knew every corner of her very soul, and it was truly undeniable. Her eyes left the Dunmer and moved back to Dar'Sien, who simply smiled at her. The look in his eyes seemed to be telling her that she was, indeed, a friend among friends.

"The fact is that you need us as much as we need you, Astrid. You won't regret your decision." the Dunmer smiled, gliding up to her and brushing a finger against her cheek affectionately, causing her to gently close her eyes. Astrid couldn't shake off the trance she had fallen under. The urge was far too powerful to give her any choice. She could feel it calling to her. She was among kindred spirits, and there was nothing left out in the world of normalcy for her. What would she really do out there, anyway - raise a few cows, and then be slaughtered like one when some pissed off bandit decided to do away with her? She had every reason to join and every reason not to look back.

Astrid smiled, her eyes still closed, breathing in the musty scent of her soon-to-be home. She opened her eyes, meeting with the crimson ones before her, who seemed to stare deeply into her being. She slowly began to nod, entranced by his enticing words. "This...feels right...for some reason..." she spoke, barely above a whisper.

"That's because it _is_..." he replied, his low, silky voice tugging on her emotions. He then pulled out a dagger, as Astrid's eyes immediately grew in sight of it. It was the Blade of Woe from before. "Are you ready to join the Dark Brotherhood, Astrid?" he asked, pulling on the rope and holding the edge of the sharp, jagged blade just inches from it.

"Yes..." she whispered, breathless.

"Good choice, sister..." he growled seductively in her ear as he cut the rope, allowing it to fall free from her body. He then turned to Dar'Sien, who leaned against the rock wall, arms folded, waiting patiently. "Dar'Sien, would you so kindly take Astrid to meet the others?"

The Khajiit nodded, grinning widely as he stood by the doorway, waiting for Astrid to join him. She stood on wobbly legs, stepping toward Dar'Sien, before the Dunmer caught her attention, once more.

"It may be of importance to know my name before you leave this room..." he warned, placing his hands at his hips.

Astrid turned back to him. "What is it?" she asked, curiously.

"Zirath, but please do call me _brother_..." he grinned wickedly, revealing his sharp, pointed teeth.

* * *

Astrid trailed behind Dar'Sien, who quietly led her to another room, where a warm bath had been drawn, apparently for her. He then stopped at the doorway, grinning as he turned to her. "Dar'Sien admires your distrustfulness. It proves your keen judgment of situations. Dar'Sien is also distrustful. He thinks our kind should stick together, so we can distrust each other in happiness, no?" he said playfully, causing Astrid to smirk in response. "Zirath instructed this one to lead you here first, should you choose to stay with us. Babette will be with you, shortly." he instructed, before slinking away.

Astrid closed and locked the door, before climbing in to the soothing waters. She promplty cleaned herself, before pausing. She thought to herself a moment, before holding her breath and ducking her head under the water. She eyed the red-tinted surroundings of the cavern through the rippling waters. The crimson hue reminded her of blood. His blood. A satisfied smile crept across her lips, before coming up for air. A new, exciting sensation began to fill her insides. At that very moment Astrid realized that she had, quite possibly, made the greatest decision of her entire life.


	23. Chapter 23: Accepted

**A/N:** _Hello again! Here's chapter 23, hope you enjoy! A big thanks to you all for reading, as always!_

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Chapter 23: Accepted

Astrid dried herself, eyeing a black robe that was draped over an old chair. She glanced at her filthy clothes laying on the floor, before promptly deciding to go with the more sanitary option.

After dressing herself, she studied her surroundings, taking them in before sitting down. A mixture of thoughts and emotions spun inside her head like a whirlwind. Part of her wanted to smile and laugh, and a much smaller, quieter side simply wanted to cry without ceasing. Astrid firmly decided against the latter, for she had made a decision, and she didn't want any traces of regret lingering in her system. Her days of being a fearful, troubled little girl were over.

Swallowing back her fears and doubts, Astrid was alerted by a quiet knock on the door.

Astrid inhaled deeply, before standing and wiping away any traces of uncertainty from her features. She gently opened the door, as a small, hooded figure entered the room - _quite_ small, Astrid noticed with a quirked brow.

"Who are you?" she asked, her face distorted in an expression of pure confusion. What type of creature was under that hood? That couldn't possibly be an adult human, mer, or anything else that she was used to seeing. Astrid wondered if it could possibly have been an imp - she'd heard of those, but not in Skyrim. She wasn't quite sure of their appearance, either, but she reasoned that this could possibly be one.

"Oh, forgive me, dear. I've been out in the sunlight. I must've forgotten to take this off again..." a tiny, child-like voice spoke, causing Astrid to unconsciously take a step back. The small person pulled the hood from her head, as her pale skin and dark, brunette locks were uncovered. She was a little girl, and she had the darkest eyes Astrid had ever encountered.

Astrid stood with her mouth slightly gaped, staring at the small child, who was currently digging through a satchel on her belt.

"Y-you're a child?" Astrid inquired, feeling completely dumbfounded.

The girl pulled out a small vile. " _Was_ a child, dear - precisely two hundred and seventy years ago, give or take a few months." The child grinned darkly, her smile bearing sharp, pointed fangs. "Now, I'm something else altogether. When a horde of Vampires turn your parents into human cattle and decide to bestow the gift upon you, you take it and run. Luckily, Vampirism is a wonderful preservative, don't you think?" the small girl chuckled, causing Astrid to feel quite unsettled.

"Oh..." was all Astrid could bring herself to say.

"It takes a bit to get used to, wouldn't you say?" she smiled sweetly, handing Astrid the vile. "Don't you worry, dear. You and I are much more alike than you realize. In time you'll see that. Here, take this. It should help you feel a bit better."

Astrid gave her a leary glance. "What is it?"

"It's an antidote to the poison I mixed to sedate you. I apologize that it was so strong, but it was necessary. Don't worry, though, it wasn't enough to permanently damage anything. It was quite potent, however, and this will help any side effects you're experiencing." she spoke, taking a step closer to Astrid and reaching the vile toward her.

Astrid hesitantly grabbed it, and swallowed it down even more hesitantly. Instantly, the dull pain in her skull subsided along with the churning nausea she'd been experiencing since she'd awakened. "Thank you..." she sighed, handing the child the empty vile.

"Please, call me Babette." she said, stuffing the empty container back into her satchel before stepping into the doorway. "Follow me, Astrid. I'll show you to your living quarters." Babette instructed, leaving the room like a small, dark shadow.

Astrid followed behind her, her eyes tracing every inch of the twisting corridor. She looked on, watching the flames on the sconces writhe and dance, casting black figures wickedly across every surface. Dark banners hung from the ceilings, and blood encrusted weapons lay casually about on the floors. Her whole surroundings reeked of pain and death, and she couldn't help the urge to internally ask herself just how she'd ended up here so quickly.

Babette soon stopped in a room scattered with small beds and chests for personal belongings at the foot of each. She walked over to a bed, pointing to it. "You're in luck, dear. This is our last empty bed, and it's assigned to you. We're a close-knit bunch, really, so I certainly hope you won't mind our constant presence. Just think of us as a dysfunctional little family who happens to kill people for coin." Babette grinned slyly, before leading Astrid down another winding hallway that led to a dining area of some sort.

As Babette passed into the next room, Astrid noticed that a young male Redguard sat at the table along with a middle-aged male Breton, apparently in the middle of a heated conversation.

"So you're telling me that you actually boiled an old woman to death in her own bathtub?" the Redguard asked skeptically, crossing his arms over his chest. "How?"

"Oh, please! It's not like it was hard or anything! You're making it sound like some sort of gods-forsaken miracle! All it took was a little bludgeoning from a mace, me shooting a nice blaze of fire at the bottom of her tub, and ta-da! No different than making horker stew!" the Breton boasted, with a satisfied smile etching over his features.

The Redguard furrowed his brow, smirking. "I thought you found the Arcane arts far superior to weaponry." he scoffed.

The Breton scowled, "Damnit! That doesn't mean one can't improvise every now and then!"

Astrid felt a faint smirk forming on her lips in overhearing the two men bickering. Her attention, however, turned to Babette, who had abruptly cleared her throat, grabbing their attention.

"Astrid, I'd like you to meet Nazir and Festus." she introduced them, pointing to each and giving Astrid a face to each name. Babette then smiled, seating herself at the table among them. "Don't fret, dear. They aren't always this insufferable - that is, if you can keep them away from each other." Babette gave them both a scolding glare.

"Ah, so good to finally meet the woman that stabbed Arnbjorn repeatedly! I've been meaning to congratulate you. That overgrown meathead needed to be taken down a notch!" Festus cackled, gesturing for Astrid to join them.

"I thought you said you were a family..." Astrid looked to Babette, confused by the hateful comments Festus was making about another member.

"A _dysfunctional_ family, dear. He doesn't mean anything by it. Festus is just a bit...contrary." Babette briefly reminded her of their previous conversation. This family certainly was different, Astrid noted. Of course, a strange sense of humor or an off-handed remark here or there was paradise compared to the family she once knew. Astrid figured she'd take that over her past any day.

"It's rather unfortunate we have yet another recruit that can't use one damned spell." Festus added, regretfully. "Of course, if you'd like to be different than this one..." He gestured to Nazir, with a scowl. "You're most welcome to learn from me. I once was a renowned teacher at the College of Winterhold, you know, before those bastards - "

"Yeah, yeah, we know. Before they kicked you out for being a wicked, murderous son of a bitch like the rest of us..." Nazir rolled his eyes. "And what's so wrong with using a weapon?"

"First of all, they didn't kick me out! I left, you buffoon! Secondly, any idiot can take a sharp piece of metal and stab something with it, but to learn the sacred art of the Arcane, takes a higher level of - "

"Ahem!" Babette interrupted the mage. "As much as I'd love to hear this debate all day, I really would like to hear more from our new sister, wouldn't you?" she inquired, her voice sweet, but her eyes cold.

"We hear you like to kill your relatives. An uncle, perhaps?" Babette continued, the question causing Astrid to instantly bristle. The last thing she wanted to think of - to remember, was him.

"Yes...It was..." Astrid answered slowly, trying to outwardly show no signs of fear or damage from the monster she'd slain. "I...slit his throat one night while he was drunk..."

"Bet he was a real bastard, wasn't he?" Nazir chimed in, leaning forward in interest. "I know my first kill sure was."

Babette smiled slyly. "Nazir has quite a history with murdering family members, too. Seems like you two have something in common already, dear."

"It's true. When I lived in Hammerfell, my father was the meanest, slimiest son of a bitch I'd ever laid eyes on. He beat my mother to death one night, and that same night I nearly sliced his head off his shoulders. Ah...good times..." Nazir sighed, reminiscing over his past deed.

Suddenly, the tense feeling inside of Astrid began to subside, washing her fears away like a calming spring rain. She felt her muscles begin to relax. "So...you had a horrible past, too?" she asked Nazir sincerely, feeling a chance for a true connection to another human.

He nodded, as Festus spoke up. "We all did, missy! We wouldn't all be in a blasted deathcult sending souls to the Void if we'd had one of those goody-goody, happy lives and all that mess!"

Babette grinned, placing her tiny chin on her fist. "Dear, I've been living in an undead child's body for nearly three centuries. You can't get much more disturbed than that. Like I told you, we are far more alike than you realize."

Astrid smirked, feeling not only relieved, but content inside. The cold isolation she'd suffered out there in the world of normalcy began to slowly melt. She then remembered the man she'd stabbed - they called him Arnbjorn. Suddenly, she began to grow curious.

"And what of this Arnbjorn?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, you'll meet him soon enough. If you think we're strange, just wait until you see _him_." Nazir chuckled. "I'll never let him live this down! I can't believe he let himself get injured so badly by a rookie!"

"Can it, Nazir! You haven't been here so long yourself!" Festus scolded him, seemingly just for the fun of it.

Babette turned to Astrid. "He's out on a contract, dear. He'll be back in a few days, I'm sure. Just get settled in and make sure to rest up. It's only a matter of time until Zirath gives you your first contract. It'll be a win-win, really. Just think, dear, you'll get to murder someone _and_ collect some profit. An assassin really is a dream job, if I must say so." she beamed.

At this point, Astrid finally allowed her guarded features to form into a full-blown smile. "It does sound nice, actually, now that you mention it..."


	24. Chapter 24: Euphoric

**A/N:** _Hello all! Sorry this is a little late - I just have a lot going on at the moment. I'd like to thank everyone for reading/following/fav/reviewing, as always! Well, here's chapter 24, hope you enjoy!_

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Chapter 24: Euphoric

After a long day of settling in and getting aquainted with a few of her peers, Astrid quietly slipped away from them, following the winding tunnel back to her sleeping quarters. In all honesty, she felt as if she was currently in some dazed state of shock or disbelief.

Step after silent step, Astrid watched the ominous dancing shadows as she breathed in deeply, smelling the musty scent of her new home. _Home_ , she mused. This was her home - her _family_ now. It was both a terrifying and freeing feeling, really. Astrid felt simply overwhelmed by the flood of support from people who were actually very similar to herself. It all seemed like a beautiful dream of some sort. She almost expected to wake up in the farmhouse at any moment, still soaked in Reiner's blood, and thrown cruelly into her previous life once more.

Astrid now stood at the side of her bed, taking in her surroundings. It certainly was comforting to feel a true connection to others for once. She sat on the edge of her bed, quietly reflecting on this strange, new life the fates had thrown her into. Besides Zirath and Dar'Sien, who actually didn't count as a member, she'd met three assassins. Just how many members were there, anyway? The group didn't seem to be very large. She still hadn't met this Arnbjorn fellow, either, since he'd presumably been on a contract.

She sighed, laying back on the bed, staring into the deep crags and crevices etched into the red-hued stone above. She began to think of that man - the one with the icy blue eyes. Was he out on a contract as well? He was rather mysterious. Hopefully, he wasn't that Arnbjorn fellow himself. If so, that would certainly be an awkward meeting, considering she'd stabbed him both viciously and repeatedly. She winced, trying to shake the unwanted thought away.

Astrid watched a dancing flame from a lamp on a nearby end table, feeling the intensity of her heartbeat grow as she thought of that silver-haired Nord. There was just some quality about him that she couldn't quite put her finger on, that seemed to draw her to him. He was the beast, both deadly and cunning. He, unlike Delvin, had actually _praised_ her for murdering her uncle. Astrid's lips curled slightly upward in a small, warm smile. And the way he looked at her the first time she saw him in the Ratway - it was like he already knew her somehow, both inside and out. How that was possible, she didn't know. Even more questionable was why she felt that way in the first place.

She still didn't know why he'd been lurking around that farmhouse all those times that he wasn't feasting on Reiner's cattle. Perhaps she'd find out soon enough. Astrid sighed, closing her eyes, hoping that she'd wake exactly where she was, and not simply be in some delirious dream.

* * *

Astrid gasped, thrashing against her fur blankets and jolting up in her bed, startling from the horrible nightmare she'd been trapped in. Those eyes were last thing she remembered before waking - those piercing, threatening, unforgiving green eyes. Thousands of moths had surrounded her, blinding her vision as she had flailed her arms about helplessly, trying to see through their thick, smothering fog. Then those haunting eyes were staring straight into her - shattering her all over again.

She wiped her sweat-drenched brow, staring blankly at the same stone ceiling she'd fallen asleep to. Thank the divines she wasn't back in that farmhouse that had previously imprisoned her so, she thought with much relief.

"Are you alright, dear?" Babette's tiny voice asked quietly, as Astrid turned to see her passing through the room.

"I'm fine. It was just a...bad dream." Astrid answered reluctantly, trying desperately to suppress the fear provoked by the horrible nightmare.

Babette simply smiled. "Nightmares are such pesky little things, aren't they? I used to have them when I actually slept during the night hours. Of course, those nights are long past." she mused, the maturity of her tone quite unsettling in such a childlike voice. "I'll see you soon, dear. I have a certain someone to suck the life out of - quite literally." Babette started to leave the room, before turning abruptly to face Astrid once more. "Oh, silly me! I amost forgot! Zirath needs to speak with you. He told me to tell you to meet up with him in the morning."

Astrid nodded, thinking of the Dunmer whose rich, enticing words had pulled her into this dark family. "What do you think he wants?" she asked the tiny vampire, curiously.

Babette simply grinned innocently, before turning to leave the room. "You'll see."

* * *

Astrid stood before an old iron door, eyeing the rusty doorknob. She was told that this was Zirath's dwelling place, and so she promptly followed his orders as soon as she had risen the following morning.

She inhaled, fighting back the tension that began crawling up her spine. It wasn't so much that she feared her new leader - she just wasn't sure what to expect, and that always made her bristle. It didn't help that Zirath emitted such a large, engulfing presence. If she was completely honest with herself, she would've considered him a bit intimidating. Of course, she wasn't going to pull any bit of inner-weakness out into her actual awareness. That would be far too inconvenient. So she simply straightened herself, remained calm, and knocked, waiting patiently for Zirath to answer.

After what seemed to be a long moment of silence, the large door finally creaked open. Zirath grinned, bearing his sharp teeth as he loomed over her. "Ah, I see you've woken early. Did you have a pleasant night's sleep?" he cooed, his voice soft and silky while his eyes remained cold.

Astrid nodded hesitantly. "Yeah, it was fine..." she mumbled, clearly aware of her blatant lie. The last thing she wanted to do was recount a horrible dream about _him_.

Zirath paused briefly, leading Astrid to wonder if he knew better. A sly grin spread over his lips, as he gestured for her to enter his room. "Please, follow me." he spoke politely, slinking into the shadows of his quarters.

Astrid stepped into the dim room, allowing the heavy door to snap shut behind her. Zirath's room was unbelievably dark, with only a small, solitary lamp to fill it with light. Large, intricate bookshelves lined the walls, and a small table sat in the corner with a bottle of spiced wine sitting upon it, along with rolls of parchment and a quill and inkwell - most likely for whatever business he was in charge of, Astrid reasoned.

Zirath quietly walked over to a dresser, pulling out the top drawer. "Here. You will need this." he pulled out what appeared to be a set of the Dark Brotherhood's signature armor, holding it before her. Astrid took the armor, watching him smirk. "We certainly can't have you killing targets in those common robes. Now you'll look the part you were born to play..." he spoke wistfully, pulling two delicate goblets out of another drawer, before motioning for her to follow him to the table.

"Please, do sit and indulge in this fine wine with me." he purred, pouring the violet liquid into the goblets. Astrid seated herself, glancing warily at her leader before taking the drink in her hand. She gave her best effort to remain cool and collected on the exterior, but inside she felt rather skittish. What exactly did he want?

Astrid hesitantly took a small sip of the deliciously sweet wine, before clearing her throat. "So, is that what you wanted to see me about? Was it the armor?" she asked, prying for his motives.

"The answer is yes and no. It is part of it, but there is more..." he answered cryptically, holding up his goblet, while studying it in the faint light. "Tell me, Astrid, what was your motivation for killing your uncle?" he inquired smoothly, still eyeing his drink.

Astrid's every muscle instantly tightened, as she shot him a look. "Why do you want to know?" she replied, her voice wavering nervously against her wishes. _He_ was the last thing she wanted to think about. Ever.

"Hmm..." he hummed dismissively, gingerly sipping the wine before continuing. "I am simply curious about my newest initiate. You've chosen to be a part of this family now, and so I yearn to aquire more knowledge about you. This is obviously a touchy subject. I assume that he was a vile being, no doubt. I've learned that in most experiences, the first victim is usually quite deserving of his or her fate. I did hear word of his profound violence toward women, in particular. I take it was an act of revenge, correct?"

Astrid grew silent, averting her eyes from Zirath, who simply continued to study her. "I see..." he continued, seeming as if he knew something deep within Astrid that she didn't dare discuss. Perhaps he sensed that she was terribly damaged by that monster. Or maybe she was simply imagining things. Either way, she wanted to do anything but talk about that particular subject.

"Perhaps it would help if I told you a bit about my own nature. My first victim was my very own mother..." he admitted, instantly catching Astrid's attention. "Much like you, I committed my first murder as an act of revenge. To this very day, I feel no remorse, guilt, or shame for what I've done. I simply re-aligned fate - tampered with it, if you will." he began, his words pulling Astrid in like a moth to a flame.

"Oh?" She quirked an eyebrow, clearly feeling intrigued.

"You see, my siblings and I lived very poorly under her care. True, we weren't poor in the financial sense, but what we held in wealth, we profoundly lacked in love and devotion. My mother was a strikingly beautiful creature, and so she became a mistress to a very wealthy nobleman. My father was absent in my life, and mother would conjure up pretty little lies about his alleged heroic deeds and fashion beautiful stories as to why he simply couldn't be with his own children. It did keep us placated...for the time being..." Zirath smirked, his velvety voice lined with malice, as he continued on.

"Therefore, her double life consisted of ignoring the needs of her neglected children while frolicking among the elite. The life she lived away from us was very glamorous - filled with fine jewels and gifts, beautiful garments, and lavish feasts. We barely saw her anymore - the maid was more of a mother, truth be told. Mother gladly let us starve for her love and affection, and so when she came home one night, tipsy from exotic wine and drunk with infatuation for her new lover, I glady set her ablaze. I simply gave her what she was entitled to..." he smiled, pouring himself a second drink by this time. "It was the greatest gift I could offer...to myself and my siblings. Since that moment, I have honed my craft and ultimately fulfilled my destiny. I was born to do this, and so were you..." he spoke as he leaned forward, his crimson eyes locking onto Astrid's.

"So your father left too..." Astrid spoke quietly, barely above a whisper. Getting aquainted with her family the previous day had been a positive experience, but this current conversation seemed to feel so large in comparison. Zirath's story was such a mirror to her own, that she almost couldn't believe it. His father was completely absent, and his mother was such a terrible example to live by. So was Nona, albeit in a different way. After the pain she'd caused Astrid by this point, she hardly felt the need to call Nona her mother anymore. She was simply a person who used to exist.

"Yes, he did. For what reason, I could never fathom, nor do I care. If anything, I'm grateful. Fate worked out as it was intended, and all pieces fit nicely into place. His absence simply sculpted me into the being I am today - a mortal soul with the divine capability to end one's life without a care..." Zirath mused, seeming perfectly content with his past demons, which further led Astrid to believe that joining the Dark Brotherhood was a wonderful decision. She had tormented herself, fighting the inner battle just to remain good and unblemished. She had fretted over, suppressed, and denied her darkness for so very long. She'd despised her murky past, and even when she'd embraced her current nature, she still hated the those memories that had long haunted her mind. Of course, Zirath, among others, quite openly embraced his demons. It was such a freeing experience, and Astrid felt it all so deeply. This was what she'd truly wanted.

"Perhaps it was better that my father left me, as well..." she thought aloud, tasting her thoughts on her tongue, along with the sweetness of fine wine.

"Trust me. It was. Father abandoned you, Mother was most likely a dissappointment in her own right, your divine calling eventually emerged, and my lucky self hand picked you, like the finest fruit on the tallest tree...Believe me, Astrid, when I say that this was meant to be your destiny..." Zirath leaned even closer, his sweet, wine-laced breath filling Astrid's nostrils. He smiled warmly, sliding his hand over her own. "So tell me, now...Who are you, Astrid? I've given so freely of my own knowledge. What of you? Will you indulge me? Will you tell me what happened?"

She couldn't understand why or how, but Zirath was somehow peeling her layers away with such ease. Perhaps she could finally speak her truth, and revel in who she really was. Perhaps she could confide in him. Truly, she wanted to. He was just so magnetic and willing to share his experiences with her.

"Nona died. Then her brother showed up one day, and I found out that she'd been corresponding with a man I never even knew. He was evil, and she knew it, and she fed me to him like a worthless piece of meat. He was an abusive monster, in every and all senses of the word, and he hurt me in every way possible. I met someone who was supposed to help me, but he...lied. Let's just say that there was a point of no return, and Reiner had to die..." Astrid spoke, inwardly amazed with just how cold and unrelenting her tone came off. "I'd do it a thousand times over if I had to. He deserved it..."

"And you simply tugged on the strings of fate..." Zirath cooed, pouring Astrid another drink. "This 'Nona' was your mother, I presume?"

"I'd prefer to call her by her name, but yes. She was..." Astrid replied, somehow feeling a surge of power from her willing attitude of coldness and apathy. She'd felt this way before, but being with these people, particularly Zirath, seemed to be stimulating that yearning desire for power.

"Ah, you are very dissociated from your biological family. I find that to be an excellent quality, when it comes to being one of us." Zirath beamed proudly, taking a piece of parchment and writing some information on it, before sliding it to Astrid. "This is your first official contract. You'll receive coin from our client, and you will keep a portion of it. The rest goes to fund our needs as a whole. Understand?" he asked, his tone deepening and becoming more stern.

Astrid nodded. "Very well."

"You will meet the young man who's name and location I've written down for you, and you will do as he says. You will receive payment, and you will return to me. Any questions?" he asked, his face now emotionless and unreadable. There was definitely more to Zirath, but she didn't know exactly what. Either way, she felt strongly compelled to follow his orders. Astrid normally didn't enjoy being told what to do, but this fellow was such an inspirational being. He was intelligent, charismatic, deep, and he viewed life in a spectacular way. He was everything she aspired to become. She yearned for his deep knowledge, and his forceful power.

Astrid's heart began to race, her head began to spin, and a flood of euphoric feelings flowed through her veins. This was her first assassination, and she was exhilarated by the freedom of allowing herself to find pleasure in this fact. She didn't want to supress herself any longer. The time of liberation had come, and that time was now.

Astrid smiled deviously, looking into his burning eyes and feeling as if she'd been reborn this very moment. "So, when do I start?"


	25. Chapter 25: Content

**A/N:** _A thousand apologies for the lateness. I thank you all for reading and those who have follow/fav/reviewed. It means a lot to me. Here's chapter 25, hope you enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 25: Content

"Ah, this should be a perfect beginner's contract for you, dear..." Babette smiled, her dark eyes grazing over the piece of parchment Zirath had given Astrid.

"So where exactly is Falkreath, anyway?" Astrid inquired, only vaguely remembering the name of the town that her new client supposedly lived in.

Babette chuckled, bringing a small hand up to her mouth in such an innocent, childlike manner that Astrid nearly smiled in reaction to it. "Why, this _is_ Falkreath, dear! Well, not the city itself, of course, but this very sanctuary lies in Falkreath. It's only about two miles from here. That's a rather convenient contract, considering you won't actually have to travel far. That young man lives just on the outskirts. It'll be simple, really."

"I see..." Astrid studied the name as she took the parchment back from Babette. Though she wouldn't admit it, Astrid was actually quite relieved that this contract would be so simple. It wasn't everyday that one had to actually begin murdering people for coin. True, she had killed before, but never had she murdered in such cold blood. Before, she had been emotionally driven and full of the desire for revenge at any cost. Now, she had to do it because it was her new profession. Without her previous motivations driving her to do the act, she wasn't quite sure how difficult this task would actually be.

"You'll do wonderfully, dear. I know it. Now go out there and knock 'em dead...literally." Babette grinned fiendishly, bearing her menacing fangs.

* * *

Night had crept upon the city of Falkreath as Astrid spotted a large, well-fashioned home in the distance. _This must be it_ , Astrid thought, as she noticed the way in which the large house sat off to itself among the more modest homes nestled together in town.

She silently crept throught the shadows of the night, walking the small, winding trail until she now stood before the front door. Astrid sighed, pondering just how one would enter the home as an assassin. Obviously, the young man would be expecting her, but what if he had guests or family who didn't realize his plight? Astrid then realized that this assassin business was a bit more complex than she'd initially thought.

Biting her lip in a mixture of anxiety and frustration, Astrid held her hand up, ready to knock on the front door, when another idea hit her. She stepped back, before creeping back into the shadows. She began to crouch, circling the house, watching, waiting, and listening for any signs of more occupants.

She was met by nothing but darkness and silence. Only one window on the top level of the home shown the faint glow of candlelight. Astrid shrugged, standing and returning to her starting position at the front door. Perhaps her client was alone - if that was her client in the first place. She thought to herself a moment, before knocking and darting behind a large tree, where she watched the front door to see who would actually emerge. Sure, it wasn't the smoothest method, but it would be an effective way of hiding herself from unwanted company.

Astrid listened as the floorboards creaked, moving from the upper-level to the lower, and heard footsteps approaching the door. The lower-level windows began to glow from the lighting of candles. Finally, the door swung open.

"Hello?" the inquiring voice of a man echoed into the night, as Astrid caught sight of him. The Imperial was young, and he seemed to fit the description. It had to be him, she decided.

She inhaled deeply, before calmly stepping out into his view. The man turned to her, startling, before getting a good look at her and smirking. "Oh...I see...Come with me."

Astrid slowly nodded, before adjusting her cowl to make sure her identity was secure. She followed behind the man, entering his home.

Her eyes gazed upon the lavishly furnished home. From the expensive looking furniture, to the exotic rugs and vases, it was apparent that this fellow had coin, and plenty of it.

He turned to her with a slight scowl now etched on his features. "It's about time one of you showed up. I've been performing that disgusting ritual for two weeks! Do you realize how many servants I sent out before one actually found a dead corpse? Lucky for me that there's a high population of homeless beggars about this region, or I'd still be waiting." he spat, his lips curled in a snarl.

"...Ritual? What ritual?" Astrid inquired, with an equal amount of venom in her voice. She realized she'd have to do what this man requested of her, but after only a few moments in his presence, she wasn't exactly fond of his petulant demeanor.

"You are an assassin, aren't you? You mean to tell me that you're a member of the Dark Brotherhood, and you don't even know your own practices?" he asked, seeming to grow more irritated by the second.

Astrid began to seethe. There was a certain disgusting trait about this man's character that reminded her of someone else. This arrogant, snotty man appeared just as selfish and despicable as _him_. Needless to say, that didn't sit very well with her.

"Enough!" Astrid hissed, surprised by just how furious she'd instantly become. "Do you want me to murder someone or not? Just tell me what I am to do, or I'll pick someone myself...and it won't be in your favor..."

"Sir, would you like me to bring your nightly wine?" an elderly woman asked, coming into view, before turning to Astrid and freezing into place. Apparently, she was a maid or servant of some sort.

"NOT NOW!" the man fumed, obviously redirecting his anger to a much safer target. The old woman nodded anxiously, before quickly scurrying off. Astrid rolled her eyes, realizing that there was more than one person to catch sight of her.

"Very well, then." he continued, appearing to collect himself due to her outburst. At least the whole intimidation thing came naturally, Astrid mused. "He's upstairs. I'll leave you to it." He waved his hand dismissively.

Astrid raised a brow. "Who is?"

"Ugh...I'm not paying you to ask questions." he replied, his snotty voice grating on Astrid's last nerve.

"Tell me. I need instructions." Astrid demanded, her inner desire to control the situation kicking in. She wasn't going to take any lip from this arrogant, ungrateful monster. She'd dealt with his type before, and it hadn't ended well.

"Fine! He's my grandfather. He's been laying on his deathbed for months now, and I'm sick of him stinking up the place! I thought the old bastard would be dead by now, but he's just lingering on to spite me! He knows I'll get my inheritance, and he doesn't want me to have it! Just go murder him...Oh, and make it appear natural. I don't want the other villagers to get any ideas about me. I'll be travelling to Solitude now to visit with some cousins, so I'll be away when that wrinkly sack of dung ceases to exist. I'll have the perfect alibi, actually." the man grinned slyly, seeming utterly proud of himself, and causing Astrid to cringe from the conceited way in which he spoke.

"What about the maid?" Astrid asked, reminding him that someone else had witnessed a Dark Brotherhood member in his home.

"What about her?!" he sniveled, in an almost mocking tone. "She's already been given an extra allowance to keep those ugly lips sealed tight. Now, get to it - and lock the door when you leave. My maid will pay you when dear Grandfather is nothing more than a rotting corpse." he remarked, before leaving the house, slamming the door behind him in what seemed to be a final idiotic act of defiance.

Astrid took in a deep breath, attempting to calm herself, as the elderly woman timidly re-entered the room. "I'll show you to the Master's room."

Puzzled by the strangess of the whole situation, Astrid simply followed the old woman up the stairs until she stopped at a large, finely engraved wooden door. The maid simply bowed her head, before leaving her alone.

Astrid straightened herself, before slowly turning the knob and creaking the door open. Darkness. Silence.

She let her eyes adjust to the dim room, only illuminated by the soft light flooding in through the open doorway.

Her eyes finally caught sight of her soon-to-be victim. He was old, broken, and extremely frail. She studied him, taking soft, quiet steps to his large, luxurious bed. Faint light spilled across his haggard features, which seemed to have hardened into a permanent scowl over the years.

"You have the wrong room..." the elderly man, whom Astrid had assumed was asleep or unconscious, uttered.

"...What?" Astrid insquired, surprised that he was, indeed, talking to her.

"I...said you have the wrong room...It would be my _dearest_ grandson that is in need of your services. Now go...harlot..." he rasped, as something inside of Astrid shifted in hearing the venom in the frail man's voice. There was something strikingly familiar there, something vile and disturbing. His demeanor was not one of a kind or compassionate man. Of course, Astrid felt the need to provoke her curiosities out of him.

"I'm not a prositute." she spat. "Your beloved grandson sent me to kill you."

"Hah!" the man scoffed, before coughing violently. "If he sent you, then you'll likely be as daft and worthless as he is! A woman killing me? That's...extremely laughable..." he mocked her, before another fit of coughing began. "In my experience, women are only worth what they provide...which is heirs, and the ability to satisfy a man. Now, what is this, harlot? Are you planning to rob me? I'll have you know that my fortune is located far away from here, and not even my filthy little skeever of a grandson will be allowed to have it, much less you! Just go back and kindly inform him that he's been excluded from my will...slimy little bastard..." he raged, rasping and fighting for air with each spite-filled sentence he spoke.

Astrid simply stood there in the shadows, glaring daggers into the vile old man's cold, cruel eyes. Those heartless eyes were much like those of his spoiled, ill-mannered grandson. Now she realized where the younger man had learned his apalling behavior. Then she insinctively realized that they were both monsters. She could just feel it. That frail old man that laid helpless before her, his eyes were like those of the monster she once knew - ruthless, menacing, unforgiving. Those grey, sickly eyes turned to green in her mind. Those eyes were the same as _his_.

Time began to slow, and Astrid's surroundings began to shift. Her hands began to tremble and the world around her began to quake. Those eyes were glaring into her, as the elderly man cursed and hurled obscene remarks with his every fighting breath.

Her eyes traced the bed - the furs blankets and lush pillows. It wasn't just a bed. It was a deathbed. Nona's voice filled Astrid's mind, as did her face, her letter - the one that had sent Astrid away to be devoured by the monster. And now, Astrid herself had become a monster in her own right, ready to murder a man she barely knew - but another monster, nonetheless.

Fear, pain, and rage began to fill her insides, spilling out into her surroundings. She could've sworn the monster from her past was actually there, abusing her, harming her, and violating her.

"I...hate...you..." her trembling lips hissed, as her wild eyes darted about, landing on a large, embellished pillow at the side of the bed.

"Have you gone mad?!" the old man taunted, now hurling more insults her way. His words, however, had fallen on deaf ears. She could only hear her uncle's voice berating her. She could only see him, and feel the pain he'd inflicted, damaging her in every sense of the word.

Not being able to stand it any longer, her world fell in, as she pounced on the old man, grabbing the pillow, and pressing it on his face with all her enraged strength. She not only needed the monster to die - she d _esired_ it.

The more she felt the old man fighting against death - against her- the more she reveled in it. At this point, murdering this frail, venom-filled aristocrat was the same as murdering him all over again. It was _him._ He had that same expression, that same despicable sense of entitlement, the same selfish indulgence at the expense of others.

Astrid breathed heavily, feeling a complete rush of euphoria flood her system, as the man struggled and writhed, fighting like a caged sabercat. Eventually, however, his attempts to live began to fail, and he began to wither and grow still under her.

Finally, the monster had been quieted, and Astrid found herself removing the pillow and smiling at how his lifeless face had frozen, twisted in agony.

Slowly and calmly, Astrid climbed off of her victim and now stood, examining her surroundings once more. Everything had, indeed, returned to its previous form. The world was no longer a dark, tormenting abyss in her mind. She had twisted fate in her favor, and now things were nearly perfect once more.

* * *

A light drizzle had begun to fall, as Astrid made her way through the woods, now on the final stretch to her new home. The night was cold and the rain was chilling, but Astrid was more than content. She had successfully completed her first contract and gained a hefty coin purse. She found herself grinning when she thought of telling Zirath the details of her kill.

Suddenly, the rustle of leaves followed by a low growl alerted Astrid, causing her to freeze in place. Quickly, she hid herself among thick brushes, watching and listening to the low, gutteral noises until they ceased.

The rain began to pour as thunder rumbled in the night sky overhead. Astrid's eyes grew wide as a dark form walked past her, following the same trail she had. She stood, narrowing her eyes and trying to figure out who this could be. Then, she caught sight of his hair - it was silver. It was him.

Without hesitation, Astrid quickly stepped out onto the path. The man instantly heard her movements, whipping back to lock his cold, blue eyes with her own. Astrid's heart began to race, when the mysterious man's lips curled up in a charming grin.

"Hello, again..." Astrid smiled slyly.


	26. Chapter 26: Baffled

**A/N:** _As always, a big thanks to all my readers out there! Here's chapter 26! Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 26: Baffled

Astrid watched as the silver-haired Nord approached her. His eyes were so intense and cold, and yet his smile was so charming and infectious that she felt herself grinning like a small child. It actually alarmed her just how much of a hold this complete stranger had over her emotions. She couldn't help but to remember the way he'd praised her for killing the monster, and how free and relieved that had made her feel inside that night. In the midst of her darkness and despair, this person she barely knew had given her a tiny inkling of hope and happiness. She then fell silent, watching and waiting for him to speak.

"I see you've made it back in one piece." he spoke, his voice rugged and deep, causing Astrid's heart to beat just a bit faster as it hit her ears. What was it with this fellow? Why did she suddenly feel so alive in this moment?

"Yeah...I'm sure it wasn't much of a feat, given that my first contract was practically handed over to me..." she shrugged, feeling suddenly small and modest in his presence. Surely this beast of a man had taken many lives and had countless contracts. Her rookie contract was probably nothing to him.

"You'd be surprised how many meatheads get their asses killed the first go. I'd say you're doin' pretty good, compared to them." he replied, smirking.

Astrid smiled, averting her eyes from his unwavering gaze. There was just something about the way he looked at her - much like the way he had in the Ratway the first time - it felt as if she'd known him a lifetime. Astrid found herself feeling quite uncomfortable, so she attempted to remain as cool on the exterior as possible. She wasn't used to such overwhelming sensations flooding her in such a way, and that was a bit unsettling.

"If you say so..." she folded her arms, trying not to fidget about. The last thing she wanted this man to know was what a strange effect he had on her. "So, were you on a contract or...?" she began, secretly wondering if this man was the Arnbjorn fellow the other assassins had spoken of.

"I was. Not now." he answered in a terse manner, not giving her much information to go on. She had a terrible feeling that this could be him, and that didn't sit well with her. He was the last person she'd wanted to stab, and it was more than likely that she'd done just that during her abduction.

Astrid sighed quietly, not being able to keep the thought to herself any longer. "Are you...?"

"The name's Arnbjorn. You must be Astrid." he took another step toward her, as she cringed inside, feeling more awkward than ever.

"Oh, gods..." she sighed, rubbing her forehead. "You were the man I attacked, weren't you?"

"Heh. You've got a damned good grip. I had to pry that blasted dagger out of your hand." he chuckled, seeming more amused than anything.

"Yeah, well I wasn't exactly given a heads up that I was going to be abducted, if you get my drift." Astrid replied, feeling somehow embarrassed for harming him in such a way. Why she felt this way, she had not the slightest idea. It wasn't as if she'd asked those assassins to throw a hood over her face and run off with her.

"Remind me to tell you next time." he said, with just as much sarcasm as she'd thrown at him. Caught off guard by his remark, she glanced up to see that he still wore a slight grin. Automatically, she felt her lips curve up again in response. "C'mon. We're both beginning to look like a couple of drowned rats out here." he spoke, motioning for Astrid to follow him out of the rain and back to the sanctuary.

* * *

"So, what were you doing out there? You said you weren't on a contract..." Astrid inquired, sipping wine from a tankard as she glanced up at Arnbjorn, who seated himself beside her at the dining table.

"I'm pretty sure you're aware of what I am by now. I'll give you three guesses." he smirked, drinking straight from the bottle.

"Ah..." Astrid raised a brow, realizing he'd been on a nightly prowl. She then remembered the times when she'd lay in bed at night in the farmhouse, listening to his haunting howls echo in the distance. She recalled the uncanny way her heartbeat would intensify, her skin would tingle, and how she felt somehow envious of the precious, fearsome power he held. Astrid traced the mouth of her tankard with her finger, remembering just how beautifully the blood from his fresh kill sparkled in the moonlight. "Did you...go there tonight?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Where?" Arnbjorn grunted, curiosity in his tone.

Astrid faintly smiled, her insides a mixture of euphoric feelings and confusion in the Nord's presence. She couldn't help but feel bewildered by her own deep desire to find out just why he'd been hanging around there. True, he found easy prey in Reiner's livestock, but he hadn't always been hunting. "The old farmhouse." she replied, hoping for an answer to satisfy her yearning.

However, she began to feel even more flustered when Arnbjorn began to fidget and appear uneasy. He gazed off in the distance, as if his mind had somehow wandered far away from that moment. Quickly, he took another large swig from the bottle. "Nah...Figured I'd stay local this time. No use draggin' my ass all the way to Riften right after a contract."

"I see..." Astrid nearly sighed, feeling slightly disappointed that he didn't say something about the fact that she wasn't there anymore. Then she began to mentally scold herself for such silly thoughts. Of course he only went there to hunt! It had nothing to do with seeing her! However, that didn't seem to quiet her strange attraction to him, or her insane hope that he'd been lurking in the shadows to watch her from time to time. Now feeling like a complete fool, she simply switched her mind back to the business at hand. "I guess I'd better go see Zirath. I still need to pay him half of my profits..." she mumbled, standing from her seat.

To her surprise, Arnbjorn's expression grew into one of displeasure. "Figures." he blurted out to himself.

Astrid furrowed her brow, feeling baffled. "What?"

"Looks like our fearless leader started with that split-the-profits bullshit again. Happens everytime our contracts get scarce - and that's pretty damn often." he explained bluntly, not holding back on his thoughts about Zirath. Astrid had to admit, Arnbjorn seemed very bold, and that was something that only intensified her already bewildering emotions. However, she had not the slightest idea why he'd be angry at Zirath for a lack of contracts. Perhaps when she grew more aquainted with the inner-workings of the Dark Brotherhood, she'd find out more, she mused.

"Is this something I should be concerned about?" Astrid inquired, raising an eyebrow. "Or do you just dislike him?"

Arnbjorn finished the rest of the wine, before standing and beginning to leave her to her business. "No use worrying. Nothing you can do about it, anyway. As far as your second question goes - no, I don't like him." he grumbled, before stepping out of her sight. Not only was Arnbjorn mysterious, but so was his particular problem with their leader. Perhaps, in time, she'd find out more. Until then, she figured she would need to adhere to her leader's instructions. Zirath had given her the gift of joining the Dark Brotherhood, after all, and for that she was truly grateful - grateful enough to follow his rules, even. That, in and of itself, was completely and utterly baffling.

* * *

"Back so quickly? Such remarkable timing, Astrid..." Zirath purred, as Astrid handed him half of her earnings. He beheld the coin purse, eyeing it with a hungry look in his crimson eyes, before despositing in inside of his desk.

"Well, it wasn't like I had far to go..." Astrid shrugged casually, secretly elated by his praise. It was such a wonderful rush to hear someone compliment her ability to slay another human being.

Zirath stood tall, clasping his hands behind his back and pacing about. "As true as that may be, I'm afraid you don't realize how many new initiates do not return from their first contracts. Easy or not, what we do for a living is quite dangerous. You not only survived - you excelled. I see big things for you in the future...should you listen closely to my word, that is..."

Astrid paused a moment as she briefly recalled something her client had mentioned. "The man who sought our services - he mentioned some sort of ritual he'd performed..."

"Ah, the Black Sacrament. Yes, though we don't actually work by the rules most other sanctuaries are accustomed to working under, our potential clients do not realize this. That ritual is an ancient one in which a desperate soul summons our kind. The tormented being will gather various items and pray to the Night Mother, our beloved matron, who will then relay the message to our Listener. The Listener will learn of our contracts through that dark, divine power." he explained, though Astrid still found herself feeling bewildered.

"Who is our Listener? Is that you?" she asked, hoping to learn more.

Zirath simply smiled, chuckling. "No. As I mentioned, we do not operate as the other sanctuaries do. Our Listener resides in Cyrodiil, as do our remaining families. The body of the Night Mother rests there, as well. However, as much as I respect our Unholy Matron and the power she wields, I am the leader here. You could say we're a bit unorthodox here. I have my own methods, and those work quite splendidly."

"So who exactly is this Night Mother-" Astrid began, before being interrupted by the Dunmer.

"I'm very sure Babette would be more than happy to fill you in on those insignificant details. Unfortunately, I have my own duties to tend to, and I have little time to educate you on our history. One would most likely benefit from learning more about our family, I suppose. However, those ways are not our ways. I am ruler here. Do not forget that, my sister." Zirath remarked, as he returned to his desk, writing something on a blank piece of parchment.

Astrid could feel a strange tension in the room, as if she'd spoken of something that Zirath wasn't very fond of. Perhaps she would have a little chat with Babette to help clear up such confusing matters.

"I guess I'll be going now..." she muttered, not wanting to linger around and frustrate her leader any further. He simply smiled, nodding in agreement with her decision to leave.

As she turned to leave, she heard his silky voice one final time. "Astrid..."

"Yes?" she asked, stopping dead in her tracks.

"You should be proud of your accomplishments tonight. You've done beautifully..." he commented, causing her to feel that light, free feeling inside once more. She couldn't help but to appreciate his kindness, despite Arnbjorn's opinion of him.

Astrid smiled, as a warm feeling filled her insides. "Thank you." she replied softly, closing his door behind her.


	27. Chapter 27: Longing

**A/N:** _Ugh, I just can't seem to stay on time lately. This time of year just seems more busy for me, so forgive my constant tardiness. Anyway, thanks to everyone who reads, follows, favs, or reviews this story. I always appreciate it! :) Here's chapter 27, hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 27: Longing

"And that is basically how our little establishment is supposed to operate. Any questions?" Babette lifted her eyes from an old leather alchemy book she'd been casually studying as she informed Astrid of all the ancient customs and traditions of the Dark Brotherhood. The little vampire recalled so much and with such ease that it wasn't difficult for Astrid to tell that the girl had been familiar with the Dark Brotherhood for a very lengthy period of time.

Astrid ran the information through her mind - the Tenets, the Night Mother, and the infinitly mysterious Sithis, who seemed to act as a godhead for her dark brethren. Then, she remembered what Zirath had told her - this sanctuary wasn't like the others. The word unorthodox came to mind. Astrid hesitated a moment, before speaking. "I do have one question."

"Ask away, dear." Babette replied, flipping through a couple of tattered pages.

"Zirath said we aren't like the others. He said our sanctuary operates differently. How differently?" Astrid inquired, her curiousity growing more by the second.

Babette paused ever so subtly, before gently closing the ancient book. "Ah, I see. In some ways, we aren't so different, and in others..." she trailed off, seeming to gather her thoughts. "Technically, we still follow the Five Tenets, mostly because they allow our little family to operate smoothly, more than anything. We don't steal from one another, murder within our group, we don't disobey our superior, give away our secrets, and we don't disrespect the Night Mother simply because we have no reason to do such a thing. However, as I said, these are common sense really, and we simply go with it. Can't really be a unit if everyone is murdering each other now, can we?" Babette grinned slyly, before continuing. "Of course, there are some rather telling differences. Zirath is our leader. We have no traditional Dark Brotherhood hierarchy. It's quite refreshing, actually."

Astrid raised a brow. "Have you been in another sanctuary before?"

"Long, long ago I was..." Babette trailed off, her dark eyes seeming distant and lost in memories long past. "Near immortality is a tricky little thing, really. Life is stretched far beyond the mind's capacity to find it exciting. People, places, traditions...They all grow old and tiresome after a while. Let's just say that it was time for a change. Here, in this small sanctuary, I found that change. You see, our sanctuary is set apart from many of our brethren by the Jerrall Mountains. They are quite the nasty patch of land, really. I once heard tale that communications across the trecherous mountains had proved difficult, and our family simply decided to fend for themselves over time. Why wait for words that will never reach your ears, when you can choose to liberate yourselves and live by your own choices? That is exactly what our ancestors did, and it's been that way ever since."

"I see..." Astrid spoke, taking it all in. Deep respect began to pool inside of her for the ways of her new home. Why not take matters into one's own hands, instead of bowing to ancient traditions that were no longer helpful? She reasoned that she would've done the same as her predecessors in such a situation. "It does seem refreshing to live by one's own rules."

Babette nodded in agreement. "Indeed."

Suddenly, another question bloomed in Astrid's mind. "And what of this 'Sithis' that we are supposed to worship and obey?"

Babette seemed to ponder the question a moment, her tiny fingers rubbing her chin in contemplation. "I can only speak for myself, as I'm not sure about the personal views of my fellow siblings. No one I know has ever laid eyes on Sithis. They say the Night Mother became his bride, but still nobody knows his appearance - if he has a physical form, that is. There are only descriptions. Sithis is said to be blackest night, the deepest torment, the most necessary and perfect chaos. He is love, hatred, lust, sorrow, life, and death. He is everything, and yet, he is nothing."

Listening to the little vampire's description somehow caused a cold chill to race down Astrid's spine. The way the girl's voice lowered and became hushed, the way her body grew still, it was all as unsettling as the description itself. "I'm...not sure I understand just who Sithis is." Astrid admitted, still feeling baffled and left in the dark.

"Then you know as much as the rest of us, dear." Babette smirked. "Many years ago I chose to follow Sithis, as he is rather fascinating. As I said before, I grow weary when it comes to monotonous, repetitive things and concepts. Sithis, however, has remained an enigma to me for all of my days. That must count for something."

Astrid ran the information over in her mind. "You do have a point." she agreed.

* * *

Astrid lay awake in the night, her mind too full of whirling information and questions to peacefully drift into sleep. All her dreams would only twist into nightmares anyway, she reasoned, watching mangled shadows dance across the ceiling due to a single, small candle on an endtable.

The distant rumbling of the Black Door alerted her to the return of a certain member who'd been missing for a few days. Now she would certainly not get any rest, she realized. Her heart began to pound when thinking of his cold eyes and brutal nature. Arnbjorn was such an enigma, and his aloof demeanor only drove her curiosities further. Astrid simply couldn't shake the powerful feeling of connection with the Nord, no matter how strange and ridiculous the thought sounded in her head.

Endless strings of questions drifted throughout her mind. Why was he following her the night she finally left the guild and returned to the farmhouse? Why was he always watching, waiting? Curiosity quickly turned to impulse as she crept out of her bed, stepping lightly to follow the echoes of his footsteps.

* * *

Astrid silently stepped into the large, circular cavern in the center of the sanctuary. She watched as Arnbjorn seated himself at a grindstone after grabbing a large, fierce battle axe off of a nearby rack. She stood in the shadows, simply observing him, intrigued by his every move.

"You can come out now." he spoke flatly, without so much as even turning his head in her direction.

Astrid lightly gasped, caught off guard by his immaculate senses. "H-how did you know I was..."

"I heard you the moment you snuck out of bed." he smirked, glancing at her from the corner of his icy blue eye. "Kinda goes with the whole turning into an animal thing."

Without conscious thought, Astrid found herself smiling sheepishly as she stepped out into view. "So...Do you leave like that all the time?" she inquired, yearning to know more about him.

"I do now." he answered plainly, holding the steel against the grindstone, as Astrid watched tiny sparks ignite from the friction. "Mostly to feed on small game or whatever I come across." he shrugged casually, continuing his work.

"Hmmm..." Astrid hummed to herself, feeling unable to contain her many questions. "You don't hunt near Riften anymore, do you?"

Arnbjorn paused, lifting the battle axe from the grinstone and turning to her. He furrowed his brow, seeming either confused or annoyed. Which one, Astrid wasn't so sure of. "Why does it matter?" he asked, as Astrid sensed a bit of tension inside of him. Maybe if she prodded him enough, she'd find the source of said tension.

Astrid simply smiled contently, pulling up a nearby stool to seat herself. "You used to hunt near my uncle's farm quite frequently. I even heard a rumor about you once - that you were a beast that had taken off from the city of Whiterun. I was always so curious about you..." she admitted so freely that it actually felt alarming to her. Usually a deeply guarded individual, she felt completely unnerved by just how much she revealed about herself when she was in Arnbjorn's presence.

She swallowed, waiting for his reaction, as he set his weapon to the side and slid around on his seat to face her. "Who told you that?" he asked, visibly peeved.

"I overheard a woman telling it to my uncle. Is it true?" she continued her inquiry, unrelenting.

Arnbjorn sighed. "Yeah. Got any other questions?"

"Yes. What happened?" Astrid asked, folding her arms and waiting for an answer.

Arnbjorn hesitated before reluctantly answering her. "I was a member of those milk-drinking Companions once. Let's just say that those damned bunch of do-gooders weren't my style. I didn't just 'take off', either. I told them I was leaving and dared any of them to stop me. Needless to say, they didn't try." he huffed, clearly not happy with remembering the whole ordeal. "At least with the Dark Brotherhood I can kill assholes I don't like instead of live with them."

Hearing his last remark, Astrid's lips curved upward in a genuinely amused smile. "That's not too bad. It's better than the story I have to tell, anyway. Just a poor, useless girl that nobody cared for." she shrugged, nonchalantly. "At least you get to turn into a werewolf." she teased.

Much to her surprise, Arnbjorn's stern features seemed to soften as he grinned in return. "Yeah, well...At least you murdered that asshole uncle of yours. Real piece of work, that one."

"Oh?" Astrid raised a brow, her interest soaring due to his mention of the monster she used to live with. "Just how much do you know about that particular asshole?"

"Enough to know that son of a bitch treated you like a slave. Just what are you getting at?" Arnbjorn grew still as Astrid felt a tension so thick between them that she felt she could slice it with a blade.

This was it. She had to know or she was quite certain it would drive her mad. Astrid inhaled deeply, before speaking in a low, hushed tone. "Were you watching me?"

Arnbjorn's reaction unfortunately only made things murkier in Astrid's eyes. He narrowed his eyes at her, before turning back to the grindstone in a way that made him seem very uncomfortable with the question. She could tell that Arnbjorn was even more like her than she'd initially thought. He was a very guarded individual, and his walls were quite difficult to penetrate. Astrid wasn't sure what else to do other than sit and patiently wait for him to reply. As uncomfortable as things were, she wasn't one to back down, and certainly not when her emotions were so confusingly attached to another person.

Finally, much to her relief, he began to speak. Unfortunately, much to her dislike, his manner of speaking wasn't exactly pleasant. It was more akin to a tirade, to say the least.

"Why in the bloody Void would you ask that?! What do you want me to say? Yeah, I was stalking you cause I'm some sick bastard who likes watching you? What're you gonna do? Call me an asshole and be done with it? What do you wanna hear, Astrid?" he spouted off, standing up from his seat and breathing heavily with complete anger and frustration.

Astrid had every reason to reply in a similar manner for his less-than-polite outburst, and yet she did not. Her heart began to pound wildly, as she realized that there was a great deal of truth to his ranting. Apparently, he'd felt it as much as she had. It seemed that his actions and feelings were great enough to have disturbed him in some way. At least it appeared that way, given how enraged he'd become while admitting things. Everything from his body language to his tone of voice and change in demeanor said it. He was apparently afraid that she'd judge him for his behavior and label him a sick deviant. Ah, but little did he realize who he was actually speaking to, Astrid mused with much satisfaction.

"Actually..." Astrid stood, feeling such a flood of euphoria in her realization that she couldn't contain it any longer. "That was exactly what I _wanted_ to hear."


	28. Chapter 28: Unsure

**A/N:** _Hello everyone! Here's chapter 28, hope you all enjoy! Thank you all for reading/following/faving/reviewing, and putting up with my constant lateness (sorry!). I appreciate it all! See you next week!_

* * *

Chapter 28: Unsure

"What?" Arnbjorn stared at her blankly, as she noted a look of near-disbelief on his features. Suddenly realizing the strange intensity of what she'd admitted, Astrid began to feel uncharacteristically nervous and awkward around him. Perhaps he'd consider her deluded and mad, but seeing as the powerful feelings inside herself had clearly overpowered her, she simply stood there, waiting on him expectantly.

He paused briefly, his eyes never leaving her. As much as a part of her wanted to, she simply couldn't tear her gaze away from him. As much as her defenses wanted to kick in and downplay her emotions or quickly shrug things off and distance herself, she simply couldn't. Deep down Astrid realized that this man had seen things about her - dark, hidden things that had caused her to lose love and affection time and again. She couldn't admit it to herself, but she secretly feared his rejection. That saddened, desperate, fragile girl inside found herself clinging to the hope that he wouldn't backpedal from his previous position. She wanted his acceptance of her statement - _needed_ it. Unconsciously, Astrid began to breathe quickly and clinch her fists, bracing herself for his reaction.

Finally, like a breath of fresh air, he released the tension built between them once more as he began to smirk. "Heh heh...I've seen some crazy women in my life, but this is the first time I've seen one to match the likes of me."

Astrid sighed through her nose, letting out the pent up fears and anxieties within. Somehow, he was right. In some uncanny way, it was as if she was staring straight into a part of herself when she looked into his cold, blue eyes. Relief was an understatement when it came to the way she was currently feeling from his words of not only acceptance, but perhaps even a strange form of admiration.

Her jubilant emotions spilled onto her lips, forming a very telling smile. "I guess there's a first time for everything." she shrugged, trying her best to downplay her excitement.

"You've got that right." he casually agreed, causing Astrid to wonder if he was, in fact, using the same method of understating his emotions that she was. She watched as he briefly looked away from her, as if contemplating something. "So you couldn't sleep, or what?"

Astrid ran her fingers through her hair, feeling rather uncomfortable about the subject altogether. "You could say that."

"That makes two of us." he muttered to himself, seeming equally unhappy.

"Really?" Astrid asked, deeply curious and quite astounded by their similarities all at once.

"Yeah, having the blood of a wolf doesn't exactly lull a person into sleep, if you know what I mean." he explained, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "Hey, uh...Since neither of us are likely to sleep any time soon...I sometimes go out and have a few drinks from time to time - you know, get outta this blasted hole for a bit when I'm wide awake..." he began, as Astrid's insides began to tingle. "It's not like we'll have contracts any time soon, anyway. You wanna go?"

Inside, Astrid felt like a giddy child. Of course, she still felt apprehensive about revealing just how elating her feelings were, so she simply shrugged. "Sure."

* * *

Astrid glanced around the dim tavern, her eyes fixating on the burning coals in the firepit that rested in the middle of the area. Seeing as it was incredibly late, she and Arnbjorn were the only two patrons in the whole place. "So, what's this place called again?" she began, her eyes focusing back to him and noting that he'd been staring at her while her gaze was elsewhere. The intensity of his eyes caused her to avert her own once more.

"The Dead Man's Drink." he answered, before waving the barkeep over and requesting two ales.

"Hmmm...Interesting name." Astrid remarked, watching the soft amber glow of the flames illuminate the contours of his masculine features.

"Yeah, it's some kind of running joke here. This whole damned town is obsessed with death. They say Falkreath has the biggest graveyard in Skyrim. I guess it's fitting, considering we live next to them." he grinned slightly, taking his drink from the barkeep as Astrid did the same.

"You could say that." she returned his crooked smile, before taking a sip. She preferred wine, but the ale was stout and satisfying, along with the soothing crackling of the flames. For the first night among many, she felt relaxed and almost peaceful. Only the slow pounding of her heart reminded her of the uneasy assortment of delightful feelings this man had stirred inside of her. Of course, he had also stirred her curiosities. "So, how did you end up where you are now?"

He shot her a brief look that could only be described as a slight glare. "You first." he retorted, clearly uneasy.

"You already know my story. You were watching me, remember?" she raised an eyebrow, turning the tables once more.

"Hmpf." he grunted, downing his first tankard before waving the barkeep over for a second round. "Alright. I already told you about those scatter-brained Companions. That's how I became what I am. After I went my own way, I dabbled around as a mercenary for a while. I used my new abilities to my advantage. That's how all those damned rumors got started."

Astrid chuckled, starting to feel more relaxed due to her potent drink. "Those rumors weren't _that_ awful."

"Except for all the 'fleeing from Whiterun' tripe. Probably some bullshit story those meatheads made up to save face after I backed them into a corner. All that honor and glory nonsense is just an excuse to play it safe and stroke their egos. They're nothing but glorified exterminators." he huffed, clearly irritated with that part of his past.

"Just why did you join them, anyway?" she asked, intrigued by his reactions.

"Damn, woman. You don't let up, do you?" he sighed.

Astrid sipped the last drop of her first tankard, before wearing a satisfied grin. "Just curious." she shrugged, feigning innocence.

"Let's just say it was a misunderstanding on my part." he muttered, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. "When I was a boy, I looked up to my father. My mother died giving birth to me, and he was all I had. He was the toughest, most rutheless man I've ever known. One of the biggest damned Nords I've ever seen, too. He was a sell sword - lived by his own rules, made his own way. He was as mean as they come, but I never went without food on my plate. When I'd reached only eight winters, he began to train me. By my thirteenth, he was dead. He left on a contract and never returned."

Astrid watched him intently, fixated on his every movement. His normally fierce expression grew to be somewhat distant and an ever-so-subtle tone of sadness laced his gravelly voice.

"When I heard about the Companions, I figured them to be just as strong and daring as my father. I'd heard rumor that some of their members had contracted Lycanthropy, and the thought of that power only made my hunger to join that much stronger. I eventually did join them - I was a grown man by then. I participated in all their stupid initiations and customs, and I chose to carry the blood of the wolf myself - the only part I don't regret. Of course, after time I'd grown to realize that these people were nothing like my father. Nothing like _me_. The day they told me that my ways - my father's ways - were too 'unorthodox' for their liking, I snapped. I dared them to come at me. I transformed right in the halls of Jorrvaskr. Those bastards were lucky I didn't take their heads right then and there. Long story short, I did as my father before me. I became a sword for hire - that is, until the Dark Brotherhood recognized my talents for slaughtering others. That's pretty much it. There, ya happy now?" he grunted, obviously hoping she was satisfied with his answer.

Astrid smiled innocently. "Quite."

"Alright then." Arnbjorn smirked, finishing up his second drink. "You've had your fun. Now it's my turn to ask the questions."

"Oh, really?" Astrid asked playfully, resting her chin on her fist. "Do ask away, then."

"What were you doing hanging around that bunch of pickpockets?" he inquired, his voice laced with something akin to annoyance.

"Oh..." Astrid instantly drew back, crossing her arms uncomfortably over her chest. Traces of painful memories mixed with anger and disappointment began to trickle in. Of course, he had complied with her request for knowledge, despite his own discomfort. The least she could do was try to return the favor. "Let's just say that you weren't the only one who had a misunderstanding. Someone I once thought of as a friend was supposed to help me join the Thieves' Guild and get away from my uncle. Needless to say, that wasn't what happened. I thought it would be my way out, but they were nothing but a bunch of liars."

"Yep. Sounds like the same Thieves' Guild I've known all these years. Too crooked to be honorable and too cowardly to actually do any real damage. Doesn't surprise me that they'd screw you over." Arnbjorn agreed, instantly pulling Astrid's attention back to the present. For the first time, someone had seen them exactly as she had. As a matter of fact, Arnbjorn saw many things just as Astrid had. It was a beautiful feeling of validation, actually.

"I left the likes of them. They swore they didn't kill people because it was bad for business, yet they were hiring you to kill their own right under each other's noses. I didn't want to always be watching my back." Astrid admitted, revealing more of her concerns. It felt so freeing to be able to openly discuss these matters with another person.

"That's the good thing about the Brotherhood. We may be assassins, but we're pretty open about gutting people like slaughterfish." he chuckled, signaling for his third ale. "I think you made a good choice."

"Yeah, me too." she agreed, smiling as she glanced away.

"Our leader is an asshole, but the rest of us are pretty tolerable. I guess that's what makes me stay after all this time." Arnbjorn mumbled, relaxing in his chair as his drinking began to affect him.

"Why don't you like him?" Astrid furrowed her brow, still baffled as to why Arnbjorn felt that way.

"Look, none of these little groups are what they claim to be, and the Dark Brotherhood is no exception. I was promised not only coin for my assassinations, but plenty of it. That means plenty of contracts. Zirath didn't hold up on his part of the bargain. Contracts have been dwindling ever since. He sends his pet cat out to find them, and then what Zirath does with them, gods only know. To my knowledge, sell swords are making quite a profit around here, while we're barely scraping by. And to boot it all, he's taking half our profits!" he growled, slamming his drink on the table. "I would've already left this dump if it wasn't for the others."

Astrid remained silent for a moment, taking it all in. Was this the truth, or just a simple case of two strong personalities butting heads? It certainly didn't make any sense, considering Arnbjorn had supposedly helped convince Zirath to recruit her. "Wait...If the Dark Brotherhood is doing so terribly, then why did you urge Zirath to take me in?" she questioned, in need of some clarity.

Arnbjorn sighed, chugging the contents of his third tankard quite impressively. The man could certainly handle his alchohol, Astrid mused. "Look...You'd just killed a man - a man who dealt with all kinds of sons of bitches who could come up there and slit your throat at any moment. That thief fellow you were hanging around certainly wasn't doing you any favors by taking his damned time with things. That's why you had to kill that bastard uncle of yours in the first place! Zirath may be an idiot, but the Dark Brotherhood is where you belong. You'll be safe with us. Besides, you're a natural." he shrugged, as things began to make more sense to Astrid. "You'd be here anyway, even if I hadn't said a word. Dar'Sien seemed to take a liking to you, and he's more or less Zirath's right-hand."

"Ah, let me guess. You don't like Dar'Sien either, do you?" Astrid smirked, prying for more information.

Arnbjorn chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. "Nah, he's not the one I'm worried about - he's just a fence. He follows coin, and if I gave him enough he'd do as I asked, too. Problem is, Zirath has almost all the coin - the _power_. Besides, Dar'Sien is a bloody cat. Can't expect too much from him."

Astrid grinned, somehow relieved by the fact that Arnbjorn didn't seem to have any issues with other members. Perhaps it was mostly because she figured things would be more simple that way. Contrary to Arnbjorn's attitudes, Astrid couldn't help but to find Zirath's company quite enjoyable. Of course, her opinions on things had been changed before. They could always change again.


	29. Chapter 29: Doubtful

**A/N:** _Hey everyone, here's chapter 29. Once again, sorry for it being a little late. Thanks to all my readers out there and all who follow/fav/review! It means a lot to me :) Have a good week._

* * *

Chapter 29: Doubtful

Traces of daylight had barely begun to spill over the horizon, as Astrid followed Arnbjorn up to the Black Door. Her head was currently pounding from a mixture of exhaustion on top of a little too much alchohol. However, she'd had a wonderful time basking in Arnbjorn's company. If anything, her strong feelings had only flourished in his presence.

"Ugh...I shouldn't have had that last drink." Astrid muttered, placing a hand on her throbbing forehead as she stood on wobbly legs.

"I thought a tough girl like you would be able to hold her drink." Arnbjorn teased, before gently grabbing hold of her arm to steady her. Instantly, upon his contact, Astrid felt as if someone had lit a fire inside of her. She had the deep urge to passionately kiss him right then and there, but even in her inebriated state, she willfully resisted. She'd had acted on her urges with Delvin before, and that hadn't ended well. Even more, a faint current of shame began to trickle in as she began to feel such impulses. In her delighted state, she had forgotten that she had once been terribly damaged. Further more, Arnbjorn didn't know about just how she'd become that way. She quickly cleared her thoughts away, overcome by the disturbing memories that had emerged.

"Yeah, well...I didn't realize that tavern served ale that could down a mammoth." Astrid replied, causing Arnbjorn to chuckle from genuine amusement.

Arnbjorn replied to the question of the Black Door, before turning to her. "C'mon, let's get you to bed before you hurt yourself."

Astrid wobbled along beside him, feeling unbelievably safe in his presence. As large and ominous as the man was, he could be extremely gentle with her, which was quite surprising, given his attitude.

Of course, as they stepped down the stairs and winding tunnels and out into the wide, open cavern, Astrid was stopped in her tracks by the smooth tone of Zirath's voice as it echoed from the stone walls.

Her eyes wearily followed his voice until she saw him standing among the others. Apparently, he was speaking of something important, given the expressions of those surrounding him. Zirath then turned to them, a menacing smile painting itself across his lips.

"Ah...So glad you could join us..." he remarked, gesturing for them to join the others. "As I am to be leaving for a few days, and I need all of your assistance considering a decision."

Astrid could hear Arnbjorn sigh from beside of her, as he assisted her to the group. She couldn't help but to feel a bit foolish about her state of intoxication. However, she tried to push that feeling aside and simply listen to what Zirath had to say.

"Dar'Sien has informed me of a potential group of people in need of our assistance. A noble family in Solitude with great wealth obtained from an underground Skooma ring. Fortunately for us, with such wealth and power, they also have a steady flow of enemies in their midst. That could mean possible contracts for us. Dar'Sien has arranged for me to meet with them in person. First order of business: I am in need of assistance." he explained, his silky voice enough to hold Astrid's attention despite her current state. She noticed that he'd briefly glanced at her from time to time, before staring a hole through Arnbjorn.

"Arnbjorn, friend, _brother_...I need you to accompany me tonight during my travels. If we should come across any dangers, I will be in need of your bestial abilities." Zirath spoke, as he slightly bowed his head with a devilish grin on his features.

"Very well." Arnbjorn stated flatly, as Astrid began to sense a strange tension between the two assassins. She also noted how Zirath's piercing gaze lingered on the Nord for just a fraction more than a mere glance. Perhaps he knew of Arnbjorn's dislike for him. Or perhaps it was something else entirely. Astrid wasn't so sure.

"Splendid...We will leave at nightfall. Onto the next topic. While Arnbjorn and myself are away, I regret to inform you that I only have two contracts available at the moment. All are welcome to share and split profits, _minus_ the half needed for our sanctuary, if need be. Now comes our decision, friends. Who will take them?" he questioned, calmly placing his hands on his hips and waiting patiently.

"I'm feeling up to roasting a few heads! I'll gladly take one, even if I have to share." Festus chimed in, seeming more than ready to go.

"I'll take one, but I'd rather not have any company this time - especially raving lunatics who ramble incessantly about bastards at the College of Winterhold all night long." Nazir remarked, shooting Festus a glare.

"Careful boy. I've set giants ablaze before. Torching you would be like lighting a twig." Festus replied, scowling.

"I'll go with Festus, if he doesn't mind. I haven't witnessed a good death in a while. I'll even help, if he'd like." Babette smiled sweetly, revealing her fangs.

"Sure. At least strategic poisoning has some thought put into it. Better than watching Nazir mindlessly stab someone to death with the sharp end of a pointy object!" Festus agreed, causing the young Redguard to roll his eyes.

"It is settled, then. I will assign your contracts before I leave tonight. That will be all, dear brothers and sisters." He waved them off, before stepping up to Arnbjorn, his smooth demeanor somehow fading as the others left the area. He briefly looked to Astrid before glaring into Arnbjorn's eyes. "You'd best get her off to bed. She'll need to sleep off her intoxication. Just remember, she's a new part of our family. You wouldn't want to introduce her to such bad habits so early on. She needs to stay alert. Insobriety is quite sloppy for an assassin." he warned, before stepping away.

"What about the cat? Is he coming with us?" Arnbjorn asked, with a bit of irritation in his voice.

Zirath paused, before slinking up to them again. "I'm afraid our companion won't be joining us this time."

"He used to come along all the time. I don't see why this is any different." Arnbjorn continued, in what seemed like an attempt to provoke their leader.

However, Zirath remained as calm and collected as ever, simply smiling. "Ah, that is true, dear brother. However, things change. Astrid," he turned his attention to her, causing her to straighten as best she could, given her state.

"Yes?" Astrid inquired, trying her best to appear halfway sober.

"Get some rest, sister." He gave a lop-sided grin as he gently brushed her cheek with his long, thin fingers.

She simply nodded, glancing to Arnbjorn to see a deep scowl on his features toward their leader. It was certainly an awkward and confusing situation, to say the least.

* * *

Astrid flopped onto her bed, eagerly pulling her fur blankets over her slightly chilled body. She turned to Arnbjorn, who was now standing bedside, appearing rather irritated.

"What was that all about?" she questioned him, still unable to reach any conclusion about he and Zirath's situation.

"Nothing. It's late. We both need sleep." he dismissed her, before turning away.

"Technically, it's early." Astrid remarked, as he glanced back at her, smirking.

"You just have to have the last word, don't you?" Arnbjorn teased, before disappearing into the shadows.

"Yes." Astrid smirked, hearing his footsteps echo in the darkness. She decided to give up her inquiry for now, for she was far too exhausted to continue. For the first time in a while, sleep gently welcomed her.

* * *

Astrid awakened a few hours later, amazed by the fact that she had not been tormented by a single nightmare. Perhaps she should drink herself to sleep more often, she reasoned. She slipped out of bed, changing from a peasant dress to some comfortable black robes before the sharp pang of hunger ate at her insides.

Upon traveling to the dining area, she realized that the sanctuary seemed to be completely empty. She called out a few times, before confirming this fact after hearing no answers. Apparently, the others had eagerly left to complete their contracts.

She meandered up to the dining table, hungrily eyeing a half-eaten block of cheese, before a low, purring voice startled her.

"And how is Astrid enjoying the company of her dark brethren?" Dar'Sien spoke slyly, slinking out from the shadows. The large scar on his maw made him seem quite ominous in the dim lighting of the sanctuary.

Astrid grabbed the piece of cheese anyway, seating herself. "It's nice, actually." she admitted, biting into the wedge.

"Dar'Sien knew you would fit in nicely. The dark blood of death flows in your veins. It is only appropriate that you should put it to good use." he spoke, seating himself across from her.

Her hunger slowly being sated by the hard block of food, she then realized that she could also sate her inquiring mind as well. It would be a perfect opportunity, she reasoned. "I do have a question, however..." she began, watching Dar'Sien's ears prick up.

"Ah, you are curious about something, no? Do ask." he urged on, seeming intrigued.

"Is Zirath cheating us somehow? I spoke to Arnbjorn, and -" she began, only to be interrupted by the Khajiit.

"Is your distrustfulness at work again? Do you sense that something is not right with us?" he fired back questions, only causing more confusion for Astrid.

"I don't know. Arnbjorn told me Zirath isn't giving us as many contracts as he should. He said Zirath used to allow you to come to his business dealings. I just want to know if there is any truth to all of this." she admitted, now growing frustrated with the whole ordeal.

"So you do not trust, then? I see..." he mused, rubbing his whiskers. "Tell Dar'Sien, do you fear you will be lied to again? Do you fear being betrayed by the souls you should rely upon?"

Astrid knew that Dar'Sien was clever, and that he could easily read her doubts. She simply replied, "Yes."

"Then you remain very sharp. Dar'Sien has told you he distrusts as well. Those who walk with the dagger are bound to plunge it in one's back sooner or later, no?" he asked, licking his teeth.

"So, it is true?" Astrid furrowed her brow, growing tense. The last thing she needed was to be betrayed in the only place she'd found some sort of solace.

"You want truths, then? Very well. Dar'Sien believes something is amiss. What, he has not fully discovered. If Dar'Sien held the complete seeds of knowledge, he would plant them and watch the great tree of death prosper from them. This time, he must wait...and he must watch. He has formed ideas, but this one is not aiming to share so quickly with assassins. This one is sure the foul odor of betrayal will fill this sanctuary eventually. It will eat and consume like decay on a corpse. As for now, this one has no seeds for you, Astrid. For now, this one simply waits...and watches..." he spoke cryptically, leaving Astrid to realize that she'd eventually have to use her own judgment on the matter.

For now, the only choice she seemed to have was to follow in Dar'Sien's footsteps. She would watch and she would wait.


	30. Chapter 30: Haunted

**A/N:** _Hey everyone, so sorry for the usual lateness. Thanks to all who have read/reviewed/fav/followed! It means a lot and I appreciate it greatly :) Here's chapter 30!_

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Chapter 30: Haunted

Nearly a week had passed since Zirath and Arnbjorn's departure, and Astrid found herself staring into the small flame of the candle on the dining table. It was late and the nightmares had been relentless that night, so she'd simply given up attempting to slumber. Every night his piercing, green eyes haunted her dreams. His alchohol-laced breath filled her nostrils. His cruel words and brutality echoed through her psyche.

She found herself thinking of the farmhouse. It would be dead, silent, and lifeless at this hour, she mused. The thoughts of her former prison sent a forceful shudder through her spine as she realized just how many demons of the past dwelled on that cursed piece of land.

"What in Sithis' name are you doin' up so late, girl?" a rough, tired voice bellowed out, causing Astrid to nearly jump out of her seat.

She abruptly turned to see Festus seating himself at the far end of the table. She'd completely forgotten that he and Babette had returned from their contract earlier that day. "I...couldn't sleep." Astrid admitted, feeling secretly ashamed of what had actually been keeping her up.

"Then that makes two of us..." the old mage grumbled, popping the cork from a bottle of wine. He poured himself a drink, before gazing into the same flame.

"Why can't you sleep?" Astrid's brow furrowed.

"Eh..." Festus shrugged, fiddling with a nearby rusty fork. The expression on his face was distant, troubled, and completely unlike his usual self. "One could say no reason, but that'd be a damned lie. It'd be more truthful to say everything."

"What do you mean?" Astrid asked, intrigued by the somber quality of his voice.

"You've only begun this life, girl. If you haven't realized already - and I'm sure you have, since you're in this gods-forsaken hole in the ground - the life of an assassin is a tormented one at times." he mused, seeming to stare into another life - a life long past.

"I think that's basically life in general." Astrid remarked, remembering that the better part of her life had been nothing short of a nightmare.

Festus finally turned his head away from the flame to lock eyes with her. "For us it is, anyway. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy roasting people to death as well as the next assassin, but it wasn't my first priority to be what I currently am. Regret would be the word to come to mind. Of course, there are plenty of things I _don't_ regret in this life. I don't regret leaving that putrid college. Those damned idiots were far too stupid for my liking. They claimed to love the Arcane, but how can a person truly love something if they don't embrace the whole thing? Sure, it's all sunshine and mountain flowers with them when it comes to protective wards and healing spells, but gods forbid they ever delve into studying the destructive incantations - and I mean _really_ study them. Learn how to summon enough fire and lightning to liquify whole villages! If those little flower petals are interested in power, then let them embrace it all! The dark as well as the light! Yes, leaving those ignoramuses was, without a doubt, an excellent decision."

"Then what do you regret?" Astrid chimed in, attempting to steer the mage's tirade away from the college and back to the subject at hand.

"Well, for one, I could have really been something. I truly believe I was born with an exceptionally high aptitude for magic. Of course, I was also born with an incredibly low tolerance for morons. I know I'm a crabby asshole, and I'm that way for a reason. It's because I hate people. I hate how stupid they are. We live in a world where highly intelligent, albeit brutal, races like the great Dwemer once existed and descended into the realm of knowledge, creating ingenious ruins that numbskulls today could never even begin to replicate. Ever heard of the great Aetherian Forge?"

"No, I can't say that I have." Astrid slowly shook her head, wondering just where he was going with all this.

"Exactly!" Festus exclaimed, throwing up his hands in what seemed to be a bout of frustration. "Something along the passages of time went horribly wrong, and each era has gotten far more stupid than the last! We'll be lucky if our successors will be able to walk and breathe at the same time!"

Astrid simply stared into his angry, scowling eyes. "So...your point?" she asked, still wanting to understand just what all of his rambling was about.

"My point is that I regret living in a society where all the truly intelligent and capable are having to live cooped up underground like a bunch of damned hostages! Sure I may singe a face or two off every now and again, but at least I realize that I have that ability! And I embrace it fully, just as you do yourself! We each contain just as much darkness as light. People simply refuse to see such a thing about themselves - weak-minded they are! We need death as much as we do life itself! It's better to realize our whole selves than to run around all willy-nilly, waging useless wars and following redundant customs. People do not realize that following these politics and traditions is only an indirect way of doing what we assassins so boldy do ourselves. Common folk root for one side to slaughter the other! They yearn for certain beings to die, and they follow those who kill them. Why are we so different if we do the same with our own hands?" he continued, as Astrid began to see just what Festus was getting at. She slightly smirked, feeling relieved that she wasn't the only member to feel like an outcast in a world of blind followers believing to be living a just and moral life.

"I know what you mean." Astrid stated, in full agreement.

"That's not the only regret I have...It's not the one that keeps me up like this..." he sighed, drawing Astrid's attention once more.

"What is it?" she inquired, once more deeply curious.

"My damned wife...er...former wife..." he grumbled, stabbing the rusty fork into the old, wooden table.

"What about her?" Astrid continued her interrogation, secretly shocked by the fact that someone like Festus had even married at all. Someone so stubborn and contrary hardly seemed like the marrying type.

"I shouldn't have killed the little twit." he huffed rubbing his forehead as he sighed deeply.

"Why did you kill her?" Astrid asked, now dying to know what happened. Not only was it entertaining to hear her fellow siblings stories, but it was something that Astrid could usually relate to, and that was, in her opinion, a very rare and valuable gift.

Festus shrugged, with traces of pain wrinkling the corners of his eyes. "Eh, I had a temper. Always have. We married when I was a young man and she was a pretty young thing - like a flower or a little bird. Problem was, even during the short time we'd courted, she was so damned empty-headed and clingy. We never really had a proper honeymoon, and she'd always bitch and moan about it. She'd try little niceties in a vain attempt to make me happy, but failed miserably at each. I tolerated her inability to follow simple commands until one night..." he paused, inhaling deeply, before continuing.

"It was the night we were to leave to Solitude for our belated honeymoon, which was a complete joke in and of itself. Of course, the misses wouldn't shut up until we'd had a proper one. I'd spent a whole damned day arguing with the professors, came in spitting mad. I'd already torched two farmers on the way home. I knew I'd leave that wretched college soon and never look back. Then I came home to my ugly little shack, and there she was. She told me supper was on the table and that she'd draw me a nice bath before we departed. The food was bland - the same garbage she'd always prepared. The baths were never nice, though I stomached her inadequacy often. That was, until I laid in that wretched iron tub, staring a hole through her. She asked me if anything was wrong, like she always did. Only this time, instead of call her a thousand names and send her away, I said 'yes'. Then I preceded to jump out of the tub, push her in it, and douse her with a million lightning bolts..." he admitted, now downing his alcohol as if to numb the pain of his cruelty. Astrid simply stared, speechless.

"She was a gods-awful wife, but she didn't deserve that. Just lost my temper. Just fed up with all the morons, and at the time I thought I'd rid the world of one more. I should have just up and left. She'd probably have gotten herself a dumb husband and had a couple of mediocre children, but that was the life she wanted. I was never a common man. That life was not mine to live. Sometimes I still dream she's pouring my bath. Keeps me up at nights." he admitted, shrugging as if to shrug the unwanted memories away. "Now, here I am. I joined the Dark Brotherhood here, years ago when we were strong and fearsome. Now, even this isn't what it used to be."

Astrid raised a brow, internally wondering if Festus knew anything that Arnbjorn had metioned to her. "Does Zirath have anything to do with that?"

"I see you've been talking to Arnbjorn, eh?" he chuckled. "He seems to think our lack of contracts is something of Zirath's doing. However, I've been around a few years more than that scatter-brained pup, and I can tell you that everything in Skyrim is going downhill at a brisk pace. Just a sign of the worthless state this gods-forsaken province is in, if you ask me. A young person would be smart to move to a thriving land like Cyrodiil." he stated, matter-of-factly.

Astrid mused over his words for a moment, before asking, "Do you like Zirath?"

Festus paused a moment, before snorting and bursting into maniacal laughter. "Me? You're asking me if I like someone? I thought you learned quicker than that, girl!"

Astrid, not feeling amused by his crass sense of humor at the moment, simply crossed her arms and waited for his reply.

"Eh..." he began to wind down, apparently noting that Astrid was still waiting for a response. "He's an asshole, but we're all assholes here, so I guess he fits right in." he shrugged, before standing from his seat and stretching.

Suddenly, Astrid heard the rumbling of the Black Door in the distance.

"Well, whaddya know? Looks like our fearless leader and that mutt are back. Oh well, I'm going to bed." he grumbled, stiffly hobbling away.

Astrid stood from her chair, feeling puzzled. "Aren't you going to see if they have any contracts?"

Festus turned to her, scowling. "One thing you'll learn about me is that there are many moments where I just don't give a damn. This is one of those moments." he replied, his voice thick with frustration and bitterness, causing Astrid to scowl in return.

"Thanks for being so hospitable." Astrid spat, feeling a bit put off by his rude reply. She then turned to meet up with the other two assassins.

"Astrid."

She looked over her shoulder in hearing the mage call her name. "What?" she asked, still feeling displeased with his attitude.

"Don't take it personally. I really am just an asshole." he grinned, before disappearing into the shadows of another winding tunnel.

Astrid paused a moment, sighing and shaking her head, before stepping into the shadows herself.


	31. Chapter 31: Admiration

Chapter 31: Admiration

Astrid stepped out into the large, central cavern, following the echoing footsteps of Zirath and Arnbjorn. Her eyes narrowed in on the dark passage that led to the entrance of the sanctuary, watching as the two assassins emerged into the dim light of the open area.

"Ah, Astrid. I see you are indeed awake." Zirath purred, stepping out from beside Arnbjorn, who appeared to have a slight scowl on his rugged features. "I believe it's safe to assume that you aren't accustomed to sleeping well during the nights?" he asked, his pointed brow arching up in curiosity.

Astrid paused a moment, feeling instantly tense with the subject of her current insomnia. However, she brushed the underlying dreadful memories away, reminding herself that this was a simple question that one did not have to delve deeply into. "Yes. I guess you could say I'm a light sleeper." she shrugged coolly, hoping that none of her inner-turmoil would bleed through enough for Zirath to detect.

She watched as the corner of his lips curled up in an ever-so-slight smirk, causing her to ponder on just what was currently traveling through his thoughts. "Ah, I see...As I stated before, you are born for this life among us, sister. Being so easy to wake is another necessary quality for an assassin." he beamed, clasping his thin hands behind his back as he analyzed the matter. "One never knows when one will be gutted in their sleep. Those who slumber heavily never live to find out."

An involuntary smile spread across Astrid's lips as instant satisfaction and gratitude began to seep into her emotions from his seemingly endless praise. She found herself watching with fascination as his own features reacted with the same appearance of contentment.

Arnbjorn crossed his arms and grunted to himself from behind their leader, before leaving them and heading toward the dining area. Astrid watched him make his abrupt exit, while feeling her insides prickle with a strange wave of unease. Something inside of her wanted to follow him, yet Zirath's strangely engulfing presence urged her to stay put.

"I-is he alright?" Astrid asked before thinking, instantly cringing from the unusual vulnerability in her voice.

Despite the strange tension that had once again formed in the air, Zirath remained as calm, suave, and effortless as ever in his demeanor. "Our brother will be just fine. He simply becomes angered by that which he does not understand. However, he is but a whelp. Arnbjorn has not yet grasped the magnitude of my actions. If our clients insist that I meet with them in private, then in private I must go. The subtle art of negotiation is something he has yet to learn. Let us say that the foundation of our livelihood must be laid with all the nuances of diplomacy when need be. I expect that he feels I am...hiding something from him..." Zirath explained, pacing about slowly and dismissively studying his surroundings. He paused briefly, before turning his crimson gaze to her once more. "Do you understand this concept, Astrid? That one must be flexible when the situation calls for it? That if one becomes too hard and rigid, that under the right pressure one can break?"

Astrid thought over his words for a moment, before slowly nodding. "I think so." she replied, feeling a bit interested in why a supposedly powerful force such as the Dark Brotherhood would bend to anyone's will. Apparently, Zirath had noticed her doubt, and instantly honed in on it.

"But you are conflicted, Astrid." he interjected, stopping her thoughts from wandering any further with his accuracy.

Astrid sighed, feeling a bit put on the spot. She hated to admit it to herself, but things had been quite murky when it came to the mixed opinions and lingering doubts among her dark family. The fact that Zirath was being so secretive and cryptic wasn't helping in the least. Why would he bow to any demands? "It's just...Are you hiding something?" she boldy asked, knowing that he was remarkably talented at gaging her honesty. Astrid was no stranger to boldness, and that in and of itself allowed her to question him in such a challenging manner. Of course, a hidden side of herself was a bit unsettled in the same way that a small child would fear challenging his or her father. However, that part still remained hidden in her subconscious, with her only vaguely feeling its effects.

Astrid tensed a bit, watching the gears turning in his mind, as he seemed to calmly formulate a response to her inquiry. Apparently, he'd noticed that subtle tightness in her body language as well. "It is fine, sister. No need to fear. You have right to question me. I would expect no less from such an astute observer." he began, drawing her in with yet more praise, in spite of her questioning nature. It wasn't that she wanted him to affect her in such a powerful way - it was simply that he did, somehow against her will. He did possess an uncanny ability to both peak her curiosities and fill some pieces of her deep void with such precision, praise, and flattery. She simply stood speechless, waiting for his next words.

Zirath calmly stepped over to a weapon rack, slowly pulling a sword from it and examining it in the dim lighting. "You are aware of the nature of children, are you not?" he asked, eyeing his reflection in the blade.

Astrid furrowed her brow. "I'm not sure I follow..."

"You will, sister." he stated with a hint of coldness in his tone, before running his finger slowly down the sharp weapon. "Allow me to explain..." he began, placing the weapon firmly back into place. "You see, the nature of a child is rather egocentric. Children only think of the benefits or harm to themselves, as they are not yet capable of seeing yet a larger picture. They only realize the immediate results of the here and now, and are not tempered to see the long-term effects of an event. A parent, however, is in complete and utter obligation to do this for them, in order to preserve the child and teach the child. Often, the child will not understand the things the parent says or does. The child will feel need to rebel and take matters unto himself, due to his inability to see the greater picture the parent has long known. All the while, the ever patient parent still performs those actions that the child despises, and all for the greater good of the child, despite the outbursts and rebellious nature displayed. Such is the nature of children, Astrid." Zirath explained, stepping toward her with purpose. "Are you beginning to understand, my child?" he asked, stopping in front of her.

Astrid stared into his eyes, feeling him analyze her every minor movement and expression. "I take it we are the children." she commented, attempting to hide the strange feeling of confusion she was beginning to feel.

"Hm." he hummed briefly, seeming unimpressed with her tone, before continuing. "I do what I must to help my dark family survive. If that means I displease them with my actions, then so be it. Even so, it must be this way. I hold obligations to you all - to care for you, provide for you, nourish you..." he cooed, stroking her hair and causing a strange yearning for his approval to resurface. "I do not ever wish to offend our brother, or _you_ , for that matter, precious sister..." he spoke, nearly whispering in her ear. "But I must love you all and remain devoted, despite upsetting some of you. I must provide your contracts, and this family holds wealth and much power. They only wish to communicate with me in confidence, and in return for my silence, I will nourish you all with blood and gold to be claimed. Is that not my calling in life - my obligation to you, Astrid?" he breathed, now holding her face in his hands much as if she were, indeed, a small child.

She nearly gasped as something buried inside of her reached its breaking point. Astrid couldn't contain the alarmingly wonderful feeling that had overcome her. She simply gazed into his eyes, feeling such deep fondness and affection for him. It was as if Zirath knew her every empty space and need, and how to fill them all. Her leader held guidance, devotion, and a disturbingly accurate understanding of her dark, hidden spaces. Gazing into her eyes, he'd proclaimed to serve both Astrid and her dark brethren in any and every way. He was her inspiration - her protector.

"I...see...now..." Astrid whispered, feeling almost hypnotized by his close proximity.

Zirath nodded with satisfaction, before allowing his hands to leave her face. He swiftly turned away, pacing slowly toward his quarters. "I knew you would, Astrid." he paused, turning a final time. "I figured you far too sharp to remain shrouded in misunderstanding. You continue to excell, sister..." he purred, before slinking out of her sight.

* * *

"What?" Arnbjorn asked flatly, his back turned to Astrid, as he sucked the meat from a nearly devoured rabbit haunch.

"My, aren't we polite..." Astrid remarked, seating herself beside the scowling Nord.

He took a large gulp from a greasy tankard, before locking eyes with her. His icy expression seemed full of anger and hostility. "What did he tell you? That he's just doing what he thinks is right? That all this bullshit secrecy is for our own good?" he growled, pushing his plate of discarded bones away.

Astrid shrugged, remaining as calm as possible, despite feeling a bit unhappy to see Arnjorn so irate. "Something like that."

"Figures." he muttered, before downing the last contents of his tankard. "He'll say whatever you wanna hear to get his way. Don't listen to him." Arnbjorn spoke in a stern, demanding tone.

Unfortunately, Astrid had not only did just that, but did so intently. She couldn't help the fact that, despite Arnbjorn's complete distrust and Dar'Sien's cryptic doubts, she felt completely intoxicated by their leader. It wasn't necessarily lustful or romantic - it was far more hidden, confusing, and deeper than that. It filled the empty spaces inside of her with fire and warmth. All the rejection and humiliation dissipated in his presence. He was devotion, acceptance, and love. He was every kind word she'd never received. He was every warm embrace her father never wrapped her in. He was every validation her mother never offered her. He was the sole symbol of those wonderful feelings she'd been so cruelly deprived of in her existence. He was to be observed. He was to be _admired_.


	32. Chapter 32: Surprised

Chapter 32: Surprised

Astrid awoke to the bustle of what she presumed was morning, given the fact that she had no immediate way of knowing. She examined the sleeping quarters for any signs of another sibling, before quickly slipping out of her night gown and into the plain, black robes she'd grown accustomed to wearing for the time being. The smooth, silky vibrations of Zirath's voice echoed through a nearby passageway, alerting her to the fact that some sort of meeting was taking place. Without wasting a moment, she pattered hurriedly down said passageway, hoping she hadn't missed out on anything of importance.

Astrid abruptly entered the large, open cavern, causing her fellow assassins' heads to turn in distraction.

"Ah, good morning, dear Astrid." Zirath greeted, his velvety voice amplified by their surroundings, and sounding much like royalty to her ears.

Feeling all eyes on her, Astrid cleared her throat. "I...didn't mean to be so late." she replied, feeling strangely apologetic in his presence.

"No worries. I have merely begun..." he spoke, a slight look of deviousness crawling across his sharp features.

"What's so damned wonderful about this family again?" Festus blurted out, his arms crossed in his usual stance of annoyance.

"Why, that is a very good question, brother. As I have stated before, they have plenty of criminals in their midst at any given time, and that means plenty of connections - eyes and ears to observe, and of course, mouths to relay much-needed information. Not to mention, when illegal businesses are being run, bloodshed is as routine as a man's morning supper. It is their company that we must keep, for we will obtain many contracts from these people." Zirath explained, as Astrid heard Arnbjorn grunt in obvious disapproval.

"If they're so great, then where are all these contracts?" Arnbjorn challenged, folding his arms in a stance much like Festus Krex himself. Astrid began to feel that strange tension growing in the air once more.

"Watch your tone." Zirath warned Arnbjorn, his voice suddenly lowering and growing bitterly cold. He glared into Arnbjorn's eyes as a brief moment of deathly silence filled the area. Seeming immediately aware of his demeanor, he cleared his throat and promptly lightened his tone once more. "Brother, it is not that I shall return with large amounts of contracts at any given moment, but that by negotiating with these persons I shall obtain a steady source. Numbers may not pour in, but a steady trickle is better than nothing, correct?" Zirath questioned his audience.

"Well, I don't see why in Talos' trousers any of us are surprised!" Festus growled, shooting a look toward Arnbjorn. "This _is_ the province of Skyrim we are talking about. It's a bloody disaster, if you ask me! It's full of weak ale and even weaker minds! Everything is either scarce, filthy, or poor in this cursed part of Tamriel, so I don't see why our contracts or loot would be easy to obtain in all this wretched mess! Most of the miserable beggars in these parts probably don't have enough coin to keep their asses clean, let alone hire an assassin!"

Astrid watched the strange argument unfold, allured by the mystery of it all. Were contracts really so difficult to obtain in Skyrim? Who was right in all of this?

"Oh yeah?" Arnbjorn growled, taking a step toward Festus. "If that's the case, then why are all those damned sellswords getting so much business?"

"If the life of a sellsword is one you preferred, then you would have remained a sellsword." Zirath interjected, his demeanor remaining curiously calm. Astrid watched as the two bickering assassins turned their attention back to their leader. "Festus has a very considerable point. We are living in a land of growing civil unrest. Wages are meager and souls are quite poor. Not to mention, those sellswords you speak so fondly of are careless. They care not for allegiance, for loyalty, or for family. They are not secretive, nor are they bound by shadow and darkness as are we. Many take petty bounty jobs from Jarls. Of course, many others fight for the same job, and many of those men die. We, however, do not bow to any Jarls, Emperors, or High Kings. We may have fewer contracts because of this, but we also live to keep our heads on our shoulders. Tell me, whelp, do you want gold, life, or both?" Zirath raised an eyebrow, looking to Arnbjorn, who Astrid could tell was clearly holding his tongue.

"So you're telling me that life is hard here, and that's the excuse? Life is hard everywhere, and yet some people still have coin in spite of it." Arnbjorn replied in a manner of what seemed to be forced calmness.

Zirath snickered, before turning away. "You will learn one day. You are young still...Now, moving onto the actual contracts..." he began, with a slightly dismissive tone. "For now, there are only two..." Zirath announced, and though his demeanor remained quite controlled, his eyes seemed to dare anyone to argue with this fact. "And, technically, there will only be one, as I will be using the other for my own purposes..." he declared, causing the assassins to look to each other in confusion.

"So we get one gods forsaken contract from all those days on the road? That's it?" Arnbjorn spat, clearly enraged.

"You speak before I inform you of my true purpose, and that purpose, I assure you, will benefit one of you greatly..." Zirath replied, his eyes fixating on Astrid, somehow causing her insides to tingle from his piercing gaze. "Now," he continued, clearing his throat. "Who will take it? Join together if you must..."

Astrid watched Zirath's eyes, which seemed to keep her strangely silent. His gaze lingered on her, as a slight smirk crawled across his lips, silently telling her that she was making a wise decision in doing so.

Festus and Babette both shrugged, looking to each other in quiet agreement.

"I wouldn't mind going on the hunt again. What do you say?" Babette looked to the old mage, who sighed, nodding in what seemed to be disinterest.

"Might as well. It'll get me outta this dump for a few days." Festus grumbled, now looking to Arnbjorn. "Well? You tagging along or what?"

"I'd rather stay. By the time the coin is split three ways, we'll be lucky to have any to damned gold left to spare." Arnbjorn growled, looking back to Zirath. "And that's before you get your cut..." he muttered, yet Zirath seemed to pay little mind to his ranting.

"Very well, brother." Zirath proceeded. "You can remain here. Perhaps Nazir will finally return from his contract and keep you company."

Astrid watched as the room suddenly fell quiet, and a worried look appeared on Babette's tiny features. "I do hope he returns. He's been gone for some time now. Exactly where did he go?"

"He had quite a way to venture, dear sister. His target dwelled in Windhelm. Any day now he should return. Of course, should he not..." Zirath replied, his voice trailing off as his mind wondered. He paced about a few steps before finishing the thought. "Unfortunately, only the strongest survive. Such is not only the way of the Dark Brotherhood itself, but such is an unspoken rule of life. Hopefully, our dear brother will prove himself quite strong, and will return unscathed. Of course, if fate proves otherwise, then we have no choice but to move on..." he finished, as Babette shot a look of concern to Festus, who sighed tiredly in return.

"I thought our dark ways were supposed to keep our heads on our shoulders..." Arnbjorn challenged, glaring into Zirath's eyes.

"And they will, _if_ Nazir adheres to them. Our brother is a skilled young man - born of the crystal sands of Hammerfell. He is light on his feet and quick with his blade. If Sithis wills it, he shall return home. I wouldn't be so loose with my tongue when it comes to our ways, if I were you, brother..." Zirath warned, pacing closer to Arnbjorn. "That will be enough on these matters, for now. Astrid..." he turned his gaze back onto her, as she felt that familiar, icy prickle travel up her spine.

"Yes?" she raised her brow, noting that Arnbjorn's expression had instantly changed from anger to one of concern.

"You are the newest member of our family. You have successfully completed your first contract and proven yourself more than worthy of a higher level of training. That is what I shall bestow upon you, my sister. I want you to come with me tonight. We'll be leaving for the city of Dawnstar. The climate there is cold and brutal, and the journey will take days. I'll meet with you later for details." he informed, his silky voice becoming more stern and formal.

Astrid nodded briefly, trying her best to remain calm, despite the intensity of the excitement growing inside of her. She had to admit, she found herself to be completely surprised by Zirath's plans. Her eyes then moved briefly to Arnbjorn, who simply averted his worried eyes from her own. A slight pang of guilt welled up in her chest as she realized that he wasn't pleased in the least with this particular situation. Of course, she promptly reminded herself that this wasn't her doing in the first place. Zirath was her leader, and this would be a splendid opportunity to observe him in action, to soak up his every detail, and to possibly learn more about her enigmatic leader.

"Wouldn't it make sense for one of us to be training her? At least we could profit from the contract, given we don't have many in the first place. You get your cut either way..." Arnbjorn questioned, yet again. Astrid began to grow uneasy, fearing that one to many harsh words would have less than pleasant results between the two assassins. Of course, that emotion was then followed by a more pleasant sensation when she realized that Arnbjorn himself seemed to want to train her. Astrid simply remained silent, fighting the urge to smile in reaction to Arnbjorn's words.

Suddenly, Zirath's smooth disposition vanished, leaving the atmosphere feeling cold and empty around her. "The last time you were alone with our sister, you failed to teach her anything of value. She returned in a state of inebriation. I'll allow every assassin in this sanctuary to teach her before I'll allow you. Now, enough of this. Our meeting has ceased. Carry on with your day, brothers and sisters." he half-growled, the level of intimidation in his voice enough to cause Astrid's skin to crawl.

Astrid simply watched, as Zirath slowly paced back into the shadows leading to his quarters. As soon as he was out of the area, the heavy feeling in the atmosphere began to lighten, and she and Arnbjorn were the only two remaining in the large room.

She turned back to Arnbjorn, who was simply standing in one spot, staring a hole through the passageway that Zirath had previously exited.

"Is everything alright?" she asked him, hoping to break the awkward silence that now filled their surroundings.

"Just be careful around that guy." Arnbjorn stated bluntly.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. He is our leader." Astrid replied, hoping to reassure him that she'd likely be unharmed.

"He may be our leader, but I sure as shit don't trust him." Arnbjorn growled, beginning to walk away. "Just watch your back."


	33. Chapter 33: Desire

**A/N:** _Hello everyone! First of all, my sincerest apologies for being away temporarily. I'm sorry to keep you guys waiting and I'm so sorry that it seems like I've forgotten about this fic. I really do enjoy writing and I will definitely finish this story. I've just been really terrible at managing what little free time I have, and it seems as I just fell behind because of that. I really appreciate all you readers and your kind words always make my day :) Here are chapters 33 and 34. Hope you enjoy them!_

* * *

Chapter 33: Desire

Astrid sat at the edge of her bed, lacing up her boots and feeling the slight tingle of excitement crawl through her chest. Sure, Arnbjorn wasn't necessarily happy with Zirath's decision to take her to Dawnstar, but the decision wasn't hers to make in the first place. She couldn't help the fact that whatever small trickle of guilt she felt inside wasn't enough to remove the strange yearning for Zirath's company.

Astrid rose to her feet, examining the inside of her small leather satchel of belongings before strapping it to her belt. The usually cool, damp air had become slightly cooler, validating that night had, indeed, fallen upon the sanctuary.

She briefly checked her side, adjusting the dagger that she'd placed there, before stepping into the dark corridor ahead. Through the dimly lit passageway, she spotted a tall, broad silhouette standing in the shadows.

"Astrid." Arnbjorn's gravelly voice reverberated from the stone walls, hitting her ears. "You leaving?"

Astrid grinned in the dark, feeling her heart beat intensify as she soaked in his voice. Apparently, he'd been waiting to see her, and that in and of itself brought a wave of pleasant emotions through her body. She stepped toward him, eyeing his broad, muscular form in the darkness. "Have you always lurked around like this, or is this a new thing for you?" she teased him, stopping close enough to see the outline of his face and the small glint of light reflecting in his icy blue eyes.

"You think you're funny, don't ya?" he snapped, though Astrid could see his lips curl into a slight half-grin in the shadows. She smiled a bit wider, casually shrugging his feigned irritability away. "You got your weapons packed?" he continued on, despite her previous remark.

"I have a dagger at my side, if that's what you mean." she replied flatly, trying her best not to show just how much his concern for her was affecting her emotions. Astrid bit her lip slightly, in an attempt to stifle her grin and not appear too pleased by his behavior, although she certainly felt that way.

Suddenly, Arnbjorn's expression twisted to one of both shock and displeasure. "That's it?" he huffed, causing Astrid's smile to fall completely.

"Yes. Why?" Astrid scowled, suddenly feeling a bit foolish due to his tone.

"You'll need more than that. Wait here." he replied, stepping away from her and disappearing in the shadows. After a small moment of silence had passed, Astrid heard his footsteps heading her direction once more. Before she realized what he'd done, he stepped up to her and pulled her hand open, while she felt a cool, thin shard of metal on her skin. She looked to the object, seeing that it appeared to be a small shiv with a very sharp point.

"Hide that one. You'll never know when you'll be disarmed by a bunch of asshole bandits on the road." he explained, now handing her another dagger. "Keep it on you. Never take just one weapon, understand?" Arnbjorn asked, the concerned tone of his voice causing Astrid to involuntarily smile like a giddy child once more.

Realizing her blatant display of joy, Astrid averted her gaze from him. "What? You don't think I can handle myself?" she remarked playfully, hoping to focus the attention away from her obvious display of affection for him.

"Whether or not you can handle yourself isn't my concern. You ever get ambushed by a bunch of savages?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Can't say that I have." Astrid replied, still smirking from the way he seemed to scold her out of concern for her well being. Normally, she wasn't very fond of being told what to do. However, she found herself feeling surprisingly content when it came to his protective demeanor.

"Well, let's just say you'll be thanking me for that pointy little piece of iron if you ever do." he remarked, as Astrid heard the soft echo of footsteps intrude upon their conversation.

She briefly looked past Arnbjorn to catch sight of Zirath's dark form enter her line of vision. "Are you ready to depart, sister?" he inquired, his voice flat, icy, and seeming rather unenthusiastic about Arnbjorn's presence.

"Yes. I'm ready now." Astrid answered, briefly glancing at Arnbjorn, who's features also seemed quite displeased in the shadows.

"Very well. Come along." Zirath instructed, his shadowy form turning and leaving abruptly, implying that he was in no mood to wait around.

Astrid grew silent for a brief moment, before turning back to Arnbjorn, who was now equally as silent. "I'll see you around..." Astrid spoke, her voice trailing off a bit due to both the awkward situation and the slight pang of sadness she felt for leaving him.

Astrid took a few steps ahead, attempting to wipe the confusing emotions away and focus on the task ahead, only to feel a firm grip on her wrist, holding her back. She turned in the darkness, meeting eyes with Arnbjorn. In the dim light, his eyes seemed to be deeply fixated on her own, and a look of worry and something else deeper was lingering in his gaze. Feeling his rough hand holding her in his grip sent a feeling akin to a jolt of electricity up her spine. A rush of elated feelings swept over her. Something inside of her wanted more of his gaze - more of his touch. However, just as quickly as the wave had hit her, it dissolved into something a bit more like fear and panic. She just couldn't act on her impulses. It left her too exposed - too vulnerable. His eyes were nothing like those eyes, and yet...the damage had been done, all the same. Frozen in place, she simply gazed into his eyes, too confused to say or do anything.

"Just watch out for that guy. I don't trust him..." he spoke in a low, hushed growl before gently releasing her and stepping quietly back into the shadows.

* * *

Astrid poked at the blazing campfire with a stick before briefly glancing at her leader's face, which remained remarkably unreadable the whole carriage ride to the outskirts of Dawnstar. The two of them had donned plain black robes covering their armor per Zirath's instruction and set up camp in the icy terrain just out of the city's reach.

Astrid had to admit, she began to feel a bit baffled by her leader's behavior, which had become completely aloof during their time traveling together. As a matter of fact, Zirath had only spoken a few commands to her and nothing more, leaving Astrid wondering just what was running through his mind the whole journey. At first sight of this behavior, she'd simply remained silent, observing him and studying for what motivated his actions. However, after days of coming up short, her patience was growing increasingly thin.

"So, when are we going to meet our client?" Astrid plainly asked, watching the flames crackle and spark when meeting the slight dampness of the tinder.

"Soon, child." Zirath replied, remaining just as distant and mysterious as he'd been the whole time.

"Will we be going to the city?" Astrid pried further, raising an eyebrow.

"Quite the contrary, dear sister...Our client has left specific instructions to meet with us in this very spot. He has eyes and ears hidden in the shadows. Once they have seen the flames, they will know. Our friend will be meeting with us, shortly..." he continued, his eyes gazing upon the dancing flames as if mesmerized by them. Much to Astrid's dislike, he fell silent once more, fixated on the fire before him.

The secrecy and strangely distant behavior Zirath continued to show was beginning to nag at Astrid's insides. Why wasn't he conversing with her as he normally would in the sanctuary? Finally, curiosity and slight irritation overtook her.

"Is something the matter?" she inquired, hoping to make some sense of his uncharacteristic behavior.

She watched as his crimson gaze lifted from the burning embers to meet with her own. A subtle smirk curled on his lips, as he straightened himself and began to speak.

"I see that the lack of words passed between us has unnerved you, sister..." he began, his voice returning to its usual smooth, velvety form. "I can assure you that there is no problems or strife in our midst, my child...I am merely... _preparing_..."

Astrid's brow wrinkled in deep confusion. "What?"

Zirath smiled, his razor-like teeth gleaming in the firelight. He then pulled out the Blade of Woe from its sheath on his side, seeming to watch the reflecting flames on its surface. "Have you ever seen a play, Astrid? A grand performance? Have you ever dined on the finest cuisine from the most remote lands of Tamriel? Have you witnessed the beauty of a lavish ball full of the wealthiest nobles alive?" he asked, slowly running his long finger down the jagged blade.

Astrid began to scowl. "Of course not. I was a half a step away from being a beggar." she spat, feeling as if he'd hit a nerve within her. He was fully aware that she hadn't grown up wealthy, which led her to ponder on if he was actually going somewhere with these questions or attempting to mock her. Against her own will, her subtle, yet constant undercurrent of anger and shame came to the forefront of her emotions. Whatever pleasurable feelings his presence often gave her were completely covered by a sudden, overwhelming feeling of inferiority.

Apparently, Zirath had sensed that he'd caused her some discomfort, and seemed to want to reassure her. "Forgive me, deal girl. My intention is not to frown upon you...It is to show you...what I see..." he trailed off, his words somehow both calming Astrid's insides once more and confusing her further. Since when had she began to hang on to another person's words so tightly? Since when had she allowed her emotions to become so visible?

"Just what _do_ you see?" Astrid narrowed her eyes, waiting for an explanation to all of his cryptic actions and words.

"Ah..." he grinned devilishly, sheathing his weapon. "A worthy question indeed...To begin, do you see what quality all of those lovely things share? When you look, do you see?"

Astrid could find no reason or answer for his strange inquiry, and so she simply shook her head, baffled by the whole conversation.

"You will. You are young yet...untrained...You see, as a child of such wealth and status I witnessed many things. I saw the most beautiful women, heard the loveliest music, dined on the finest feasts...And be it that under all of that exquisite allure and beauty, I truly had a loveless existence. I began to see things for what and how they really are...Life, nay - _fate_ is nothing more than a grand play. All of these fine things - all of Nirn's existence is a brilliant masterpiece that needs to be twisted, shaped, and bent by our own hands. The finest things in my existence took painstaking _preparation_..." he explained, though Astrid still felt as if she remained in the dark. However, she began to feel that familiar, hypnotic pull drawing her eyes to him and leaving them there, unmoving.

"My eyes began to open, and I began to finally see...From my mother's feigned love to the false words of every lord and lady she came in contact with. I began to see them for what they were - a finely crafted display, much like the work put into preparing a vintage wine or a rare delicacy. Or better yet, they were a divine play. All of the actors were into place, all the right whispers fell into the right ears, the right embraces and lovers in the dark...All the motives and hidden agendas slithering about in the shadows, feeding those whom they served. Ah, but none of those serpants served my purposes...Behold this fire, Astrid..." Zirath gestured to the bright, blazing flames twising before her eyes. He then stood, holding out his hand to her. She gazed into his crimson eyes, grasping his hand in her own and standing beside him.

"You see how it engulfs the things it needs, feeding itself for its own existence..." he purred, as he held out his other hand. Astrid watched, mesmerized by the flames that began to grow in the very palm of it. "I am that fire...You can be that fire, too..." he spoke, his every word sounding more delicious than the last. Zirath knew exactly what Astrid realized long ago, and that was the fact that a person could, indeed, twist fate to their liking. She certainly had when she stopped Reiner from ever taking another breath in the plane of Nirn. Zirath knew. He understood. He urged her to follow her desires, which were the same as his own.

"It's no different than a wolf..." Astrid mumbled aloud, her mind lost in memory. Suddenly, images of a sparkling, bloody bovine corpse in the light of the moon and stars began to flood though her thoughts. The feeling of that night, the air, and the reek of death in it overtook her.

"Far better than a wild beast, sister..." Zirath corrected her, seeming to instantly know what she'd meant. "We are the divine actors in this life. We create the roles, we move the pieces into place, and we decide fate...We are the flames, Astrid..." he explained, his blood-red eyes causing her heart to pound wildly with excitement.

Nothing had ever been so true in that moment. She'd known it from the time she was a little girl tempting the fates every time she'd held her breath under the warm waters of her bath. She'd known it from the way she constantly bristled like a caged beast under Nona's false righteousness. And she had known it when Reiner took his dying breath.

"You're right..." she spoke, her voice breathy and full of that strange hunger for power.

"I know what happened to you, sister. I've been observing the inner-workings of men nearly all of my days. I know what he did to you. I know he left a mark. I can see it." Zirath continued, causing Astrid to draw in a shaky breath from merely speaking the horrific truth. Against her own will, her eyes began to glaze over with tears. It was as if Zirath had instantly spotted her deepest pain and penetrated it, causing it to release. "I know it is a deep, festering sickness that lives inside of you. When one leaves a mark so deep, it never truly fades. Of course, now it is your turn. Sister, you can take that mark and bend it to your will. You are one of the divine actors now. Now it's time for _you_ to leave a mark. Tonight, we will create a spectacular masterpiece together. The power is yours..." Zirath smiled, his face appearing dark and sinister in the light of the fire he beheld. "What do you say, sister?"

A cunning smile crept across her features, as she reached toward his fire, her fingertips feeling the welcoming warmth of his flames. "I'd want nothing more..."


	34. Chapter 34: Disturbed

Chapter 34: Disturbed

Astrid watched warily as a shadowy figure approached the two of them. She and Zirath stood as a young man about Astrid's age stepped into the light, his young, innocent features strangely contradicting the bandit's attire he was currently wearing. Her eyes traced the various scars and bruises that littered the young man's exposed limbs. She then looked about herself, hearing various shuffles and movements in the snow beyond the light of the fire.

"Ah, you must be in need of our services..." Zirath purred, slightly bowing his head. Astrid's eyes lowered, noting that her leader's hand was subtly caressing the dagger at his side as he spoke.

"Aye, the name's Brandt, sir. I don't have much to pay ya with, but I believe the den will have more than enough loot for ya once yer finished." he spoke, his thick Nord accent contrasting with the soft manner of his speech, and his body language surprisingly meek for a bandit.

"Hmmm...You certainly are a peculiar lad. You don't strike me as the bandit type, young Brandt. Please, do sit and explain your situation to us." Zirath instructed, as the three seated themselves around the campfire.

The boy nervously cleared his throat, before beginning. "Aye, it's true. I'm not the bandit type. I was a boy raised on a farm, sir. Nothin' more."

"Interesting...And just who's blood are you wishing to spill, boy?" Zirath pried further.

"The very lot that took me hostage and forced me into their ranks, sir. You see, my papa died when I was no older than fourteen winters, so I had to look over my mother and my two sisters. I made a vow to do just as my father wished. I earned coin, I provided, and I watched over them until..." the young man drifted off, as Astrid could see his eyes glaze over with painful memories.

"A whole band of 'em came one night. They took everything. They were savage and cruel. The things they did to my mother...my young sisters..." he paused a moment, his voice now trembling from the pain of it all. "Then they slit their throats like hogs to be slaughtered for meat. They were gonna off me as well, but decided to keep me to work for them. I thought of begging them for death so I could be at peace with my family...But I knew my father. He was a strong man. He loved his family more than his own life. He'd want me to gain vengeance, and that is what I've come to ask of you, sir. I've been thrown into this life as the slave of my enemies - working and toiling for their gain while I rot in the shackles they've bound me in. Those watching for me..." the young man motioned toward the darkness, as more boys and young men dressed in bandit's attire emerged from the shadows with forlorn, pleading expressions. "They are prisoners as well. We're outnumbered. They starve us half the time to keep us too weak and weary to fight them, and they treat us like animals. Please, sir..." the young man pleaded, his hands clasped tightly together in desperation.

Astrid observed, as Zirath calmly reached into a satchel on his side, pulling out half a dozen small vials. "Do you wait on them hand and foot, Brandt? Do you lay their plates down before them at supper? Pour their ale and meade?"

He nodded eagerly. "Aye, sir...We do all of it. We catch their food, we cook, and we clean their chamber pots...They believe we are scrubbing the dungeons at the moment. A few of the boys are looking out for us. If we're caught this far away, they'll torture us to death. They love torture, sir. They say it makes for good entertainment. Keeps us in line, the chief says..."

Zirath simply smiled, handing the small vials to the boy. "Well, he is right. It does make a most entertaining lesson for those who disobey. I take it your captors don't let you near their supplies of weapons or poisons?" he asked, his voice in a mock-innocent tone.

"Aye sir. They have men guarding their supplies. We're not allowed near them." he explained, eyeing the small bottles with interest.

"When is their next meal served, boy?" Zirath inquired.

"In the mornin', sir. Right before they leave out for their next raid." he replied.

"Splendid. When it comes time for you to prepare their feast, add an extra ingredient. We'll be there as soon as it's safe to come in." Zirath instructed.

The young man smiled widely, seeming elated to hear of Zirath's agreement to help. "Thank you, sir! The den's a couple miles from here on the side of a white mountain."

"I know, my boy. Now, run along. I'll see you come morning..." Zirath cooed, as a faint look of confusion flickered across the young man's face from Zirath's prior knowledge of the lair.

Astrid watched as the young lad and his comrades bounded out of sight. She turned to Zirath, who was smiling slyly in what seemed to be satisfaction.

"Sleep well, Astrid. We have a most interesting day ahead of us..."

* * *

"It's dusk. Why haven't we left?" Astrid asked, feeling strangely on edge as she paced about, watching Zirath calmly polish his weapon.

"Haha...Dear sister, Babette's little concoction is a very potent creation, but its effects are a bit...subtle..." he mused, before sheathing the Blade of Woe and examining the darkening sky. "I suppose enough time has passed. Just follow me, sister." he instructed, as the two left the campsite and began to travel the snow-laden route to their destination.

* * *

"Ah, here we are, dear sister..." Zirath spoke, his expression one of happy anticipation.

Astrid eyed the dilapidated old shack, which strangely reminded her of her own childhood home. She stepped quietly behind her leader as they silently stalked up to the doorway, which was eerily quiet and unguarded.

Zirath quietly held onto the hilt of his dagger, poking his head through the entrance, before looking to Astrid with a devious smirk on his features. "All is ready. Come with me, dear child..."

As Astrid entered behind him, she nearly stepped on an unconsious bandit who was stretched out on the floor, his eyes wide and his pupils dialated. More bodies were strewn about their surroundings, laying about the floor or slumped over in chairs.

"What did you do to them? Are they all dead?" Astrid whispered, in awe of just how disturbing the scene was.

"Not yet, sister. However, they will be. What we don't accomplish, her poison will take care of. This particular mixture is slowly killing them. It starts by rendering them paralyzed for days. As we speak, their minds, eyes, and ears are fully capable of understanding what's happening before them. Of course, much to their misfortune, their bodies will not be so accomodating. We must make sure to thank our sister when we return, for if not for her mastery of the art of alchemy, we would not have the opportunity to behold such a sight..." Zirath mused, seeming quite elated by the disturbing display before them. He then stepped calmly down a flight of stone steps that seemed to lead to the underground lair, motioning for Astrid to follow.

As she trailed behind her leader, the horrific stench of human waste and decay hit her nostrils. She held her breath, attempting not to wretch from the foul odor as she followed Zirath down the dimly-lit staircase.

When they reached the bottom, Astrid noticed that the area was one huge prison with a long dining table in the center. Her eyes grew wide as she examined the large number of men slumped over, their faces down in their own meals. Gurgling and choking could be heard from a few of the limp bodies, apparently from the food lodged in their throats at the time of collapse.

"Those unfortunate men will meet their fate much quicker..." Zirath purred, slinking behind one of the struggling bodies and pulling the man's head up by his scalp. He briefly examined the dead-eyed bandit, as wine began to dribble from the man's paralyzed lips. "Hm..." Zirath hummed apathetically, letting loose of the man as his body fell back and hit the stone floor, and a trail of blood began to pool from his now fractured skull.

An icy chill ran through Astrid's insides, as she realized just how cold and indifferent her leader could be. Zirath seemed to be simply observing things, without any trace of emotion whatsoever. Astrid knew she wasn't exactly squeamish herself, but she still felt a bit put off by such large amounts of eminent death surrounding her. She reasoned that it was simply because she wasn't exactly used to assassinations at the moment. Sure, she'd killed before, but there was always some emotion or urges involved. These bandits, however savage and inhumane, had done nothing to provoke her instincts. Perhaps she'd grow more capable over time, she figured.

Suddenly, a cry alerted her attention.

"Sir! Over here! It's Brandt! Please! They locked us in here while they were feasting!" Astrid saw the young man among his fellow captives, locked in a dark cell.

Zirath calmly pulled out a lockpick and released them. "I see you were able to properly spice their meal first. Can't have a proper feast without the proper preparations, now can we?" Zirath grinned devilishly, as the young man smiled with relief.

"I-is that all? Are they all goin' to die now?" he asked, seeming more than willing to leave the scene.

"Yes. Slowly...If that is what you truly desire." Zirath replied, his voice laced with another intention. "Of course, you wanted to avenge your family. To avenge the innocence your poor sisters brutally lost...and your unfortunate mother..." Zirath persuaded, nearly taunting the poor farm boy. "Where is your chief?"

Astrid watched as the young man glared toward the head of the table, where a large, muscle-bound Nord sat slumped over. "T-there..." the boy pointed a shaky finger in the bandit's direction.

Zirath paced slowly over to the bandit chief, pulling him up by the hair of his red mane. "You do realize that they are all still fully aware? That you have complete power over every one of these men? Astrid, come over here, dear sister..." he summoned her, pointing to another bandit seated beside the chief himself.

She hesitantly walked to the other man, noting that the chief's eyes were still darting about in horror as the rest of his body remained limp and powerless. Raspy gurgles and breaths came from his chest, as if he wanted to scream in agony and horror. "You see, young man, the chief sees everything. He understands everything. Astrid, take that man's hand." Zirath instructed, as Astrid slowly gripped the other bandit's hand.

"Ah, very good...Now, when I say so, _remove_ it." Zirath continued, as Astrid felt her stomach begin to churn. She watched as Zirath glared into the chief's eyes, locking with them. "Watch very closely, for you are next." he smiled viciously into the Nord's eyes, as Astrid swallowed hard, pulling out her dagger. Zirath turned to Astrid, his eyes as cold and cruel as the bitter winters of Skyrim. "Remove it."

Astrid took a quick, deep breath and brought the dagger down will all her strength. The bandit gasped and sputtered in terror, unable to express his pain or do anything to relieve it. Unfortunately, her blade had only sliced halfway through, being stopped by his bone. Feeling strangely panicked, she looked to Zirath, who simply smiled. "Remove it by _any_ means necessary." he spoke softly, staring into her eyes before handing her his own blade. "Here, it's much sharper. Saw it off if you have too. I want our leader here to have a full preview of what is to come when the farm boy releases his anger on him..."

Astrid dropped her own blade on the table, taking the Blade of Woe and eyeing it. Her heart was beating wildly and sweat began to form on her brow. She was a killer, true, but torture wasn't something she particularly liked, and she was unfortunately finding the fact out from experience. The man beneath her hissed and gurgled, making her feel strangely ill. However, when she looked to Zirath, he seemed so fixated on her - so satisfied with her that she simply lowered his blade and began to saw.


	35. Chapter 35: Awe

Chapter 35: Awe

Astrid stood at the front of the old shack, shivering in the bitter cold of night and reeking with the scent of blood and flesh. Fortunately, after what seemed like a lifetime of obeying Zirath's horrific commands, Astrid found herself quite relieved when her leader decided to let the farm boy and his comrades finish the chief and his main lackeys off, while the two of them raided the den for loot.

Zirath suddenly appeared out of the entrance, dropping a few more leather sacks at her feet. "I believe this is more than enough payment, sister...Come back with me for a moment. I think our young man is finished with his business."

Astrid reluctantly followed Zirath, partially relieved that this nightmare would soon be over. When she met eyes with Brandt, she realized it wasn't. Not yet, anyway.

The once innocent, soft-spoken farm boy and his comrades stood, their attire now stained by the blood of bandits, whose bodies were horrifically twisted and dismembered across the dungeon floor.

Zirath slinked up to the boy, affectionately laying a hand on his shoulder. "How does it feel?"

The boy dropped a bloodied mace that he'd used to inflict the damage, his hand trembling and his eyes full of tears. "Better..." he began to sob in what seemed to be in a mixture of relief, joy, and fulfilled vengeance.

Though Astrid felt extremely rattled by the horrific experience, a part of her began to feel strangely liberated. Her leader, however brutal his manner may have been, had helped these defenseless boys claim back their power. In her eyes, Zirath had not only embodied all that she stood for, he enforced it - he _lived_ and _breathed_ it.

"Did you finish them all?" Zirath questioned the boy.

"Nah, sir. There are so many...I-I don't think we can. I don't think I can do this anymore. I just wanna be free now...Live my life..." he spoke, his shaky voice falling hushed.

"Very well. Gather your partners and guard our loot outside. My companion and I will be out in a few moments..." Zirath instructed, his voice falling low and devious as his gaze met with Astrid's.

She silently waited for his command as the young men cleared the dungeon, leaving the two of them alone in the company of blood and the silence of death. "Astrid..." his silky voice lingered, while his burning eyes never once moved from her own. "You have done beautifully, sister. Once more you have excelled. I've watched your stomach grow weak and your mind become weary, and yet you still obey my commands - the _Dark Brotherhood's_ commands, no matter how heinous or brutal. You realize your place in the world. I've seen the devotion inside of you. Do you remember what I've told you? Do you now realize that you are the flame as much as I?" he spoke, as he stepped up on the table, his form elegant and dangerous among a feast of corrupted food, poisonous drink, and bodies with terrified expressions permanently twisted on their features.

He eyed the table, picking up a large jug of ale. "Take this. Cover the floor with it, sister." he commanded, and she obeyed without question this time. His presence, his mind, and his soul had her completely held in his grasp. He knew her completely. She wasn't sure exactly how he was able to see inside of her so deeply, but he did, and it only compelled her to do as he pleased that much more.

Now standing on the wet floor, painted with blood and ale, she calmly gazed into his eyes. "What else would you like for me to do?"

Zirath smiled warmly. "You have done more than enough, sister. Please, go outside and wait with the others. Wait and behold. See the gift that I give to you, sister..."

* * *

Astrid waited outside, breathing in the icy night air and listening to the silence of the group of young men, who would more than likely never be the same again.

She felt a small tug at her sleeve, as she turned to see Brandt's eyes, which seemed to be full of gratitude. "I really appreciate what you two have done for us. I've done what my father would've wanted. Thank you..." he bowed his head, before he and his comrades disappeared into the shadows of the night.

Astrid sighed, as a heavy snow began to tall from the skies, twinkling and dancing in the night air. She watched as the boys' footprints began to disappear under the blanket of snow forming, soon to be a memory, just like the night itself would be.

Suddenly, the smell of burning wood and a sweet smell she couldn't quite figure out filled the icy air and stirred her senses. Her eyes widened as the dilapidated old cabin became engulfed in hot, burning flames. The light warmed the air and illuminated the white, glistening snow as it poured on the ground.

Her heart began to pound so hard she could hear it in her ears. Her skin began to tingle, and adrenaline rushed through her veins. It was Zirath. She stepped closer, watching the fire of Nirn flicker and twist, mixing with black smoke and silver snowflakes, dancing and writhing to the heavens. She watched in awe as his tall, powerful form slowly stepped out from the burning doorway, unscathed by the molten flames. This was his gift. To her. This was his life's work - his teaching. He had moved all the pieces into place and created a glorious masterpiece to behold, without so much as lifting a finger.

He stepped up to her, his eyes never moving from her own. "Now you see what I see...The power - the flame is yours, dear sister. How do you feel?"

"Better..." she grinned deviously, realizing just how beautiful the art of assassination could truly be. It wasn't just a damaging, infinite nightmare that Reiner had created for her. It was a grand work of art that she could bend and shape as she pleased. It was a masterpiece.

* * *

Astrid threw her belongings on the cold floor of the sanctuary, before falling into her bed in an act of sheer exhaustion. The long ride home had been a rough and tiresome one. Zirath had once more fallen into the silence that she had noticed from before, and she simply questioned him no more, for she reasoned that he had many matters on his mind and therefore she simply let it be. As he'd stated before, he was always preparing and thinking, and she respected the meticulousness of his abilities not only to lead, but to leave a mark on those surrounding him. She sighed, hoping that someday she could be so great.

She even began to reason that, perhaps Arnbjorn had misunderstood their leader's peculiar personality. Perhaps that was why Dar'Sien was sure not to act too quickly on his own suspicions. Becoming far too tired to allow her mind to wander any further, Astrid yawned, stretching her aching limbs.

"Glad to see you've made it back in one piece." Arnbjorn's voice alerted her to open her eyes. She grinned, seeing him step into view. "Did our great and powerful leader actually teach you anything, or did he just take you along to keep you away from my terrible influence?" he asked in a playful manner, though Astrid could sense that he was actually quite peeved that he wasn't allowed to train her.

"I...actually did learn some things..." Astrid replied sheepishly, feeling a bit guilty that she'd had such a wonderful experience with Zirath. However, she had to admit, Arnbjorn's obvious jealousy was quite a lovely thing to behold. It was a wonderful feeling to witness the fact that he cared for her in some way. She found herself hoping to find out just what exactly he felt for her someday. Questions still drifted through her mind during quiet mornings or before she'd drift off to sleep at night. She'd find herself wondering just how long he'd been watching her at Reiner's farmhouse, and just how much he knew about her that he wasn't telling her.

"Well that's good to know." he remarked with much sarcasm, seating himself at the foot of her bed. "What did that prancing jackass teach you that I couldn't?" he asked, causing Astrid to fall silent. The truth was, Zirath had taught her to view everything in a new light. Of course, she wasn't about to say too much for fear of giving Arnbjorn the wrong idea. She didn't want him to think she wasn't interested in him, for that was undeniable. If anything, the more possessive he became, the more she wanted to see more of him. Unfortunately, Zirath seemed to think he was a bad influence, and that posed a bit of a problem.

"Depends on how much you know..." Astrid teased, smirking.

"You think you're slick, don't you?" Arnbjorn chuckled, as Astrid noticed a flicker of something in his eyes that she felt a bit more drawn to. It was as if his gaze lingered just a fraction too long, just enough to send a signal of something mutual between them. It was something that she found very soothing and safe, and exciting and exhilerating at the same time. Deep down, she realized just how much she'd longed to spend more time with him.

"You know, if you behaved a bit better, maybe Zirath would let you teach me a few things." she persuaded, acting on her urge to be in Arnbjorn's presence.

"You mean kiss his ass?" Arnbjorn smirked, as Astrid noticed him briefly glancing at her lips.

"Maybe not that far." Astrid replied. "How about not having something unflattering to say everytime he speaks? That might work."

"Eh, I'll think about it." he shrugged, attempting to dismiss her words, though she could tell by his body language that he seemed interested in her idea. As he stood from his spot on her bed, he turned to her a final time. "Keep those weapons I gave you. You still need 'em. Don't want you getting gutted on your next contract."

Astrid simply nodded, her elated emotions spilling onto her lips in the form of a genuine smile.


	36. Chapter 36: Satisfied

Chapter 36: Satisfied

Pain. That was the only sensation Astrid could register. It was akin to being smothered by a thick, suffocating cloud. Her mind was rattled, and her body burned and stung in places far too terrible to admit to herself. Dangerous hands gripped her arms with such strength that she felt as if they would snap in two like twigs. Eyes malevolent and emerald glared into her with a hatred so deep she felt she'd surely die from it.

Her eyes darted frantically about, searching and hoping for some mental escape, since a physical one was hopelessly impossible. The spider's web cast its small shadow in the corner. The spider was there, lurking toward its helpless prey with a hunger much like the monster's own. The moth fluttered, its small form frantic and doomed, much like her.

Astrid was that moth. Darkness and fluttering wings enveloped her form, blotting out his menacing green eyes. The hysterical movements of thousands of moths began to buzz in her ears. Moths. Everywhere. Ringing in her ears. Blurring her vision. Filling her mouth. Darkness and moths - thousands and thousands of moths.

...

Astrid gasped, nearly jumping out of bed as she felt the cool touch of skin on her arm.

"Hey, you alright?" that familiar, rough voice asked with a hint of genuine concern. She sighed, her breath shaky from the terrors of her mind, quickly wiping the hot tears resulting from them away. She looked up to lock eyes with Arnbjorn, seeing that his expression was strangely somber and sympathetic.

"I am _now_." Astrid spat, internally fuming from the fact that the monster she hated more than anything had so deeply latched onto a part of her. "What were you doing, anyway?" she blurted out, instantly realizing the accusing tone of her voice. Unfortunately, her powerful emotions had misdirected themselves toward one of the last people she'd wanted to show hostility toward.

"Well pardon me for wondering why you were groaning and flailing around like someone had poisoned your ass." he remarked, as Astrid instantly felt guilty for her previous tone. It was obvious that he'd become concerned, and as soon as she fully realized that, she began to replace the feelings of guilt with ones of satisfaction. It was nice that he looked after her in such a way.

"I was...having a nightmare. I didn't mean to sound like that." she admitted, feeling a bit foolish about the whole ordeal. Of course, she had no reason to feel that way, but she did all the same. Perhaps it was the shame of it all. Perhaps it was the fact that Arnbjorn had caught a tiny, outward glimpse of her inner-demons. Maybe it was because she'd often tried so hard to separate and forget about that dark cloud of her past, only for it to resurface time and again to both haunt and torment her.

"A nightmare? That's it?" Arnbjorn scoffed in disbelief, causing Astrid to glare hatefully into his eyes without even realizing she'd instantly done such a thing. However, as soon as he studied her expression, his own features softened as if he'd picked up on something that she dared not speak of.

She froze in place when Arnbjorn seated himself beside her, his presence feeling a bit too close for comfort, given the horrible experience she'd just felt in her tormented slumber. He gave her a telling look - a look that caused her to turn away automatically in shame. Did he know? Was it that obvious? Astrid knew that Arnbjorn was aware of the fact that Reiner treated her terribly, but to what extent she wasn't sure of - and that terrified her inside. Zirath had obviously figured her out, and she'd even admitted the event to Dar'Sien in a round-a-bout way once, but the fact that they knew wasn't quite so frightening. With Arnbjorn, however, she found herself fearing his reaction if he did figure out just how damaged she was. Astrid wondered with much anxiety if he would find her disgusting and detestable due to what she felt she'd allowed to happen to her. Instantly, self-blame and loathing began to swirl around in her mind as she berated herself for allowing that wretched monster to devour her whole.

"This sleep thing. It happens all the time with you, doesn't it?" he raised an eyebrow, causing Astrid to feel scrutinized. The expression on Arnbjorn's face was more telling by the second. He knew. He had to know. The mark left on her was painfully obvious, she feared.

Feeling cornered and partially defeated, Astrid became defensive. "Yeah. Why do want to know?" He'd probably pieced it all together by now and decided she was too disgusting and broken to ever be involved with, she reasoned.

Suddenly, a look of confusion spread across his features. "Gods, woman. You don't have to get so pissed over a question or two. I just figured you might want to...come with me..." he averted his eyes, seeming a bit uneasy by this point. "Since you don't sleep much anyway, that is..."

"What?!" Astrid's face twisted in an expression of equal confusion. So, he didn't know? Or did he know and not care? Either way, her thoughts began to trail off as she focused on the intensity of her ever-increasing heartbeat. This certainly wasn't what she'd expected, but she found herself pleasantly elated by the thoughts of being around him again.

"Don't tell me you already forgot. Remember? I don't sleep worth a damn, either. Wolf blood and all that shit..." he reminded her.

"Oh..." Astrid nodded, feeling a bit foolish for going on such a mental tirade. "So, where do you want to go?"

"Zirath gave me a contract a few miles from Riften. I figured you might wanna get out of this shithole for a bit and come with me." Arnbjorn shrugged, seeming nonchalant about it, though Astrid knew better.

"You mean the same Zirath you despise? The one that never gives you contracts?" Astrid smirked, teasing him while simultaneously stating her stance on the matter of their leader.

"Cool it. You ain't gonna change my mind about that prick. Just because he used some of his fancy manipulation shit and wooed you into listening to him a few months ago doesn't mean I've changed my mind about him. That brings me to my point. This is my second contract in four months. I should've had more than two bloody contracts by now..." he grumbled, clearly not changing his view of Zirath. Astrid figured that she and Arnbjorn would just have to agree to disagree on some things, and this particular matter was one of them.

"Well, none of us are exactly getting pelted by contracts at the moment, if it makes you feel any better..." Astrid said, attempting to console him in her own sarcasm-laced way.

"My point exactly." he grumbled, before turning his attention back to the matter at hand. "So? You goin' or not?" he asked coolly, though Astrid sensed that he may have wanted her to come along more than he was letting on.

Astrid paused a moment, giving his question some actual thought. Of course she'd wanted to join him, but Zirath had forbidden Arnbjorn from training her not long after she'd joined the Dark Brotherhood. "I would, but-" she began apologetically, before being cut off.

"But what?" Arnbjorn interrupted, his voice laced with a mixture of annoyance and something akin to disappointment.

"You're not supposed to train me, remember?" Astrid crossed her arms defiantly. However, inwardly she truly wanted to leave with him - to be near him. She secretly hoped for any reason - any excuse that would actually allow her to follow him and not be disobeying Zirath's commands. Of course, her thoughts also brought to her attention the fact that she couldn't bring herself to do anything her leader didn't wish for her to do. Zirath had such a hold on her, and she was well aware of it. It was equally euphoric and terrifying at the same time.

"Who said anything about me training you?" Arnbjorn remarked, with an expression falling over his features that clearly stated that he'd already thought about it. "This is nothing but you keeping me company. Besides, you have our fearless leader to bestow his great wisdom upon you. You don't need any help when you have that." he stated, clearly showing his continued dislike for Zirath in his mocking tone.

Astrid instantly shot him a less-than-pleased look for his remarks. "Very funny. Just how is he going to believe that? I don't think he exactly trusts you, if you get my drift..." she replied.

"He may not trust me, but he trusts you. If you say I wasn't training you, then he'll believe it. And I won't teach you a damned thing. I won't make you lie to him." Arnbjorn replied, as a mixture of emotions began to brew inside of Astrid's mind. Besides the warm, fuzzy feeling she was experiencing due to Arnbjorn's consideration for her loyalty to Zirath, she also felt a bit joyful over the fact that Zirath did seem to trust her. Without much thought, a grateful smile spread across Astrid's lips.

"You really think he trusts me enough to believe me?" she asked partly in earnest, and partly just to hear it once more.

Arnbjorn sighed, seeming instantly bored when it came to the subject of their leader. "Yes, Astrid. He trusts you. The guy has been up your ass ever since you came here, if that tells you anything. Now, are you comin' with me or not?" he grumbled, the irritation in his voice suspiciously sounding a bit like jealousy.

And just like that, Astrid had found her excuse. Arnbjorn was right - Zirath did trust her. Besides, Arnbjorn had already agreed not to teach her or influence her training in any way. It was the truth, and it was enough, she reasoned. Warm, gushing feelings spread through Astrid's veins as a sly smile crept across her lips. "Sure, why not?"


	37. Chapter 37: Sincere

Chapter 37: Sincere

The carriage ride to Riften had been one of silence between Astrid and Arnbjorn, albeit for completely different reasons than those behind the silence of Zirath during such events. They had little choice but to remain quiet, for they were surrounded by various fellow travelers who would surely find their conversations a bit suspicious. Astrid examined Arnbjorn's face in the pale light of Masser and Secunda, as she briefly adjusted the hood of her robe to allow further cover from possible prying eyes. Unfortunatly, this territory was one she had been well-known in. If rumor had spread like she imagined it would, people in Riften knew her as the girl from the marketplace - the one who murdered her uncle. Needless to say, she felt a bit uncomfortable being so close to her former prison. Prison was exactly right - home was certainly not the word for it.

Her eyes traced the contours of his profile, then his silver mane, and finally they met with his cold blue eyes, glinting in the white illumination from the heavens. She watched as he never turned his gaze away, and without any other traces of emotion, only the slightest smirk fell apon his lips. Without even realizing it, a tiny grin fell on her lips as well. Somehow, that strange sensation of connection began to fill her once more. There was something so exciting, and yet so comforting about being in his presence. Realizing that she was blatantly staring a hole through him at that point, Astrid quickly diverted her attention to the night skies. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest, and she couldn't help but feel as if his eyes were still on her.

As she saw the gates of Riften approaching in the distance, she began to think of the man sitting across from her. He was often concerned for her well-being and considerate of her in a way that most weren't, and that gave her a lovely, serene feeling inside. He was also dangerous. She remembered the thief's screams who he'd slain in the Ratway. She remembered his haunting, bestial cries in the dark of night and the terror they invoked. She remembered the blood he'd left behind, and the magnificent way in which it glittered in the light of the twin moons. There was something intoxicating about those memories - about _him_.

The jostling carriage began to slow until it came to a halt. Nameless, faceless people began to file out of it as the two remained sitting until everyone else had cleared. With a mutual nod between the two, Astrid stood, watching as Arnbjorn stepped down from the wagon, holding his large hand out for her to grab. As she took his hand in her own, the feeling burned her skin like wildfire. It was strangely exhilerating just to touch him in the most innocent of ways.

"It's a few miles away from the city. Just stay close." he instructed, as his voice began to develope an edge to it - something dark and feral.

Astrid stalked silently behind him as they entered the wilderness just outside the safety of the city gates. For such a large Nord, Arnbjorn was remarkably quiet as the two crept through the woods. He was also remarkably agile - a bit too agile for a mere man. It was apparent that he held the curse of Lycanthropy in his veins - only another fact to add to his dangerous allure.

Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks so abruptly that Astrid nearly walked into him. He quickly turned to her, his eyes wide and fierce. "Their cave is up ahead. Wait here." he growled, his voice teetering somewhere between man and beast. Astrid inhaled deeply, realizing that his eyes nearly glowed in the light of the moons. She simply nodded, entranced by his dangerous presence. She watched as he disappeared into the distant shadows, now noting that a faint flicker of light waited for him off in the distance. She began to wonder just why he went off to speak with the client on his own. Perhaps it was a dangerous situation, she mused, right before being startled by the blood-curdling howl of a beast. It was him.

It was only when she heard the frantic cries and screams in the distance, that she realized he wasn't speaking with his client. He was murdering his targets.

* * *

The eerie echo of silence filled the air, as Astrid watched in the distance for any signs of Arnbjorn. Before that moment, every howl and cry in the distance caused her body to tingle with profound energy. Every struggling scream and dying wail made her nearly gasp with exhileration. Arnbjorn was dangerous, cunning, and calculated. He was perfect.

Suddenly, she began to hear footsteps on the forest floor. They were no longer light and undetectable, but heavy and forceful. Arnbjorn stepped out from behind a thicket, splashes of white moonlight spilling through the canopy of looming trees and painting his form. Astrid's eyes widened as the thrill of seeing his blood-soaked features poured over her. He reeked of fresh death, and the scent of it only delighted her further.

Mesmerized by the reality of who he was, she simply stepped up to him, her mind and body hanging suspended in a powerful trance of emotions. Unconsciously, her fingertips lightly grazed his cheek, as she felt the warm trickle of blood meet her skin in the cool night air.

As she gazed into his pale eyes, she felt the intensity of his stare. It was too much for her to simply remain silent. "You are real...It's just like I remember..." she spoke, her voice almost wistful as she relished the precious memories he'd given her.

"What is?" he asked, his low voice carrying a tone she'd never heard him speak with before. It was soft and heavy at the same time, thick with the sound of what she could only imagine was longing.

"This...All of this..." she began, her mind trailing back to the farmhouse. "I used to lay awake in bed at night and listen to you. I wondered who or what was calling out, and if that being was ever calling out to me...And I remember the trail of blood you left behind. I remember the way you followed me home that stormy night - hearing your footsteps in the dark, just out of reach. I remember it all." she recalled, realizing that her voice had hushed to match his own.

At the sound of her words, his eyes seemed to nearly burn a hole through her. His beautiful, fearsome eyes. Those eyes were feral and dangerous, and piercing - piercing enough to trigger something she'd forgotten about, if only for a moment. And truthfully, it wasn't his eyes alone, but the way his voice drawled with the heavy accent of desire. It was the sensations now crawling across her body as he began to reach for her and pull her into himself that caused it all to come crashing down.

Moths. Thousands upon thousands filled her mind. The burning pain - the mental collapse. Glass shattered. Shattered, fractured, broken, _damaged_ \- just like her. "NO!" she cried out, pushing away from Arnbjorn with such force that she stumbled back and fell to the ground.

"What the?!" she heard his baffled voice say as she laid on her back in defeat, staring blankly at the starry sky through a blanket of hot tears. It all happened so fast that she could barely comprehend it all. She could feel her body shudder and tremble as she hugged her arms tightly to herself, unable to control what was happening inside of her.

"Astrid! Astrid? What's wrong?!" Arnbjorn asked worriedly, kneeling down beside her and placing a large, warm hand on her shoulder. Without thought or reason, Astrid found herself jerking away from his touch.

"Don't...I'm sorry. I can't. I-I tried, but I just can't..." she began to sob, her mind far too lost in the trauma to control herself in any way, shape, or form. The darkness of her past had fully consumed her. The pain was too unbearable.

She closed her eyes tightly, wishing she had been strong enough to stop Reiner. Wishing she'd never allowed herself the same fate as Nona. In that moment, she deeply felt what she'd been hiding from herself the whole time. The severity of what had happened to her had crashed over her like all the tides of the ocean. The pain and violation crawled through her body like a creeping, black snake of disease and decay.

And when the overwhelming torture finally began to relent, she opened her eyes to see him still kneeling there, watching her with an expression so hurt and genuine that she almost didn't believe it was him.

"Tell me...What's wrong?" he asked again, this time his voice uncharacteristically gentle and vulnerable in a way that truly terrified her. It wasn't so much that he was frightening, but that she was in such a vulnerable place herself. It was as if Arnbjorn was literally watching her bleed out in front of his eyes. She felt like a wounded, dying animal with nowhere to go. She could only surrender to her pain in that moment. Nothing more.

"I-I just can't...can't..." she weeped, once again choking on the intensity of her feelings.

"Can't what?" he inquired in that unnervingly gentle manner that told her what a truly terrible state of mind she must've been in to cause him to behave that way.

"I can't...touch you..." she finally admitted, her words now trailing off into a flood of tormented weeping.

Even through the fog of her tears, she could see that his expression fell to one of immense guilt and pity. "Bloody Oblivion...I should've known better...Gods, I'm a stupid son a bitch sometimes..." he berated himself, wiping a hand over his face in defeat.

"What are you talking about?" Astrid muttered, sniffing and wiping at her face in a meager attempt to compose herself. Strangely enough, his unexpected hostility toward himself was enough to distract her from her pain for a brief moment. It was enough to make her _curious._

She watched as Arnbjorn averted his eyes from her, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I...uh...should've known you'd not want to...ya know..." he mumbled, the growing shame in his voice apparent. Astrid began to tense, as she began to realise what he was about to say.

"Wait. What do you mean?" Astrid asked, her voice falling hushed in fear.

"Damnit, Astrid..." he sighed in frustration. "I know what he did to you. "

Astrid nearly gasped, her eyes growing wide and wild. "How?! Who told you?!"

"Nobody." he shook his head, unable to look into her eyes.

"Then how?!" she snapped, her voice growing defensive in her veil of shame. "You weren't in there when it happened. You're lying!"

"I didn't have to be..." he sighed again, still kneeling and staring at the forest floor.

"Are you telling me that you heard what he was doing to me?! Is that it?!" Astrid's voice began to rise, as she began feeling more hostile by the second. "That you just stood by and listened to it?!" she yelled, now feeling completely out of control.

"NO!" Arnbjorn gave in to his own feelings, yelling back in exasperation.

"Then how in the Void did you know?! TELL ME!" she seethed, so overcome by her shame and fear that she didn't even care that she was so volatile toward the man she'd developed such strong feelings for.

"I SMELLED IT, DAMNIT!" he yelled, the intensity in his eyes enough to cause her to fall silent with shock. "Son of a bitch..." he muttered, standing to his feet in and taking a few steps away as if to distance himself from her. "I was hunting...about to take one of Reiner's cows. I heard screaming, but I thought it was those milk-drinking thieves coming back again. I just waited like a fool. Things died down - got quiet. I saw him outside, drunk as piss. Then I...smelled your scent...on..." he trailed off, running a trembling hand through his silver locks. "I was an idiot for waiting as long as I did. I should've ripped that gods forsaken door off the hinges and tore that son of a bitch's throat out! But I hesitated like a dumb bastard! I didn't know...until it was too late." he explained, his head low and his back turned to her so that she couldn't see his face.

Astrid sat on her knees, stunned by his admittance. Her heart pounded in her ears and her breath shook with the intensity of the storm inside of her. It was all starting to make sense now. Perfect sense.

"When I killed Reiner... before I followed you into the woods...Were you..." she began.

"Yeah...I was gonna tear him to pieces. Then I saw you come up behind him, holding that broken glass...He deserved to die by your hand - especially after what he did to you." Arnbjorn explained, his face still hidden from her view.

His words were enough to nearly stop her heart. No one had ever considered doing such a thing for her - not her father, not Nona, and not even Delvin. "Are you saying you were going to kill Reiner...for _me_?" she asked, her breath shaky and her heart on fire with hope.

Arnbjorn finally turned to her, the pain on his face more sincere than anything she'd ever witnessed from another person. "Yes."


	38. Chapter 38: Scarred

Chapter 38: Scarred

Astrid stood, dumbfounded and silent as death, her eyes wide and her ears ringing with the profound meaning of what Arnbjorn had said. It was one word - only one, but it was the single most important word in her entire existence. _Yes._ She mouthed the word to herself, as if to reassure herself that this was actually reality and not some strange dream or twisted delusion.

Her eyes never moved from his, which seemed equally as wide and just as fearful in some way she felt unsure of. "Yes..." Astrid whispered, tasting the warmth of the word in the bitter cold of her life - her reality. Arnbjorn never moved, his body tense and his expression piercing and focused, as if he was waiting for everything around the two of them to come crashing down.

 _Yes._ The word echoed like a thousand whispers in her mind, humming the music of joy and life in a world of tormenting chaos. Yes, he cared. Yes, he and Astrid were one and the same. Yes, he would have taken another life for her.

"Are you okay?" Arnbjorn finally broke the silence her epiphany had thrown them into. Once more, he had not disappointed her. His behavior, the gentleness of his words, and the genuinely concerned look in his eyes brought her nothing but a flood of comfort and a welcoming embrace of happiness.

She looked to him, feeling her emotions spill onto her lips with a sincere smile full of fondness and gratitude. "I am...now..." she spoke, her own voice seeming completely alien to her, as it seemed to lose all of the calm, composed form it usually held. It sounded strangely innocent and gentle enough to match that of the man her heart was truly beating for.

Astrid watched as Arnbjorn warily stepped closer, seeming somewhat fearful of setting her off again. He hesitated a moment, nervously running his large, calloused hand through his silver mane before speaking. "Look...That was stupid of me. I won't come on to you again. I just want you to know...I ain't out to hurt you like those other bastards. I ain't that way..." his eyes lowered, almost in a shameful manner. "I'd never hurt you..." he admitted, only causing her feelings to deepen that much more for him.

Feeling remarkably protective of Arnbjorn's own feelings, Astrid surprised even herself by attempting to comfort his apparent bout of shame. "Look, I know you wouldn't. It's just...It's not you. I-It's not that I don't want to...I _do_...but certain things...haunt me...I don't know how to stop it..." she revealed, though she knew good and well that Arnbjorn was completely aware of her demons by this point. Devastating was the word that came to her mind when she truly considered the terrible conflict inside of her. She realized that she cared for Arnbjorn in a way that she hadn't truly cared for anyone, and yet she was far too broken to show him just how deeply she felt about him.

Against her own will, her eyes began to glaze over and her lip began to tremble in her inner-torment. Suddenly, like a pot of scalding hot water, she began to boil over, and angry words began to burst from her lips. "I just...By Sithis, I just wish I could burn that gods-forsaken farm to the ground! I hate that it even exists! I can't stand the thought of it being on the face of Nirn! It was that monster's home! People will pass by it and they will remember him! That bastard deserves no memory! His name should rot away to obscurity where he belongs!" she spat and fumed, now feeling a bit unpredictable in her own bout of volatile mood swings. She felt as if she'd become so full of rage and sadness, that she couldn't hold it down any further, and simply began purging it all out of herself. It all seemed completely beyond her control.

It was at that very moment - when she'd expressed the actual depth of her hatred for her former prison, that she noticed a shift in Arnbjorn's demeanor. The same rage that she'd felt inside of herself was now mirrored in his own expression. "It doesn't have to be that way, ya know..." he spoke, his voice falling back into its usual low growl.

Astrid paused a moment, pondering over his words. "...What are you saying?" she then asked, hesitantly, though inside she knew exactly what Arnbjorn had meant. The mere thought of it both elated and terrified her at the same time.

"I think you know..." Arnbjorn replied, clearly picking up on her own emotions. "Whaddaya say? It's not too far from here - maybe a few hours by foot. I'll lead you there. You can torch it to the ground, and I won't say one damned word." he stated, before clearing his throat anxiously and averting his eyes. "It's the least I can do..."

There truly was no end to the kindness that he guarded so carefully behind a wall of sarcasm, intimidation, and brutal nature. How could she say no to such an honest attempt to comfort her in her time of need, to bring a glimmer of happiness into her currently dismal mental state, and to make an effort to right some sort of wrong in her otherwise unjust and ill-fated life.

There was only one answer that would do - only one word to bring any justice to not only herself, but to his caring nature. Astrid faintly smiled through her pain. "Yes."

* * *

He remained silent as he stood slightly behind her, watching her hands faintly tremble in the moonlight, as she gazed upon her former prison with fearful eyes. He could see the mist of her breath in the icy air as it came out in jagged, panicked bursts. The scent of her fear hung thick in the air like that of a fresh kill - so thick that it nearly compelled him to reach out and place his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Of course, he knew that was a stupid idea, given the fact that she'd completely broken down the last time he'd touched her.

Arnbjorn simply sighed, watching the trail of his own hot breath rise into the night sky. There she was, standing before a terrible reminder of pain that she should've never suffered at the hands of that son of a bitch, and he couldn't do a damned thing for her.

Unfortunately, the farmhouse was just as full of awful memories of his own. Internally, he cursed himself, wishing he'd have just grown a set and stepped in before the bastard ultimately did what he did to her.

From the first time he laid eyes on her, he sensed that she was troubled and deeply unhappy. Of course, unlike the remaining population of Skyrim that he hadn't given two shits about, in which case he would've gladly shrugged and moved on, something drew him to her. Something about her was different. She held a certain strength and cunning about herself, and a certain depth that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Arnbjorn clearly remembered lurking about in the night, listening to Reiner berate her and order her around like some worthless slave. He'd even become bold enough to pry during the daylight hours, from time to time. He'd watch, become angered by how Astrid was being treated, then become frustrated by the fact that if he were to come right out and tell her everything, he'd more or less be seen as a creep. Of course, the cycle would repeat, and his shame would grow due to his uncharacteristic behavior. It wasn't like him to become obsessed with anything, and certainly not another person.

However, this particular person was _different_. He couldn't help but feel an intense attraction to her - from the way she was fiery when she was angered to the way she guarded herself with a wall of thick sarcasm and a smooth demeanor. Something inside of him felt as if she was a sort of kindred spirit, and he simply found himself unable to tear his eyes from her. It certainly didn't help that she was quite easy on the eyes to begin with.

Now, standing by her side, witnessing the agony inside of her, he truly regretted not stepping in before that milk-drinking thief had gotten involved with her. The very thought of him made Arnbjorn's blood begin to run hot. He remembered her hopefulness after that idiot filled her head with false promises. Arnbjorn had watched her bury most of that gold, stuffing a large chunk of it down the well. He remembered her smile every time she'd accomplished hiding her profits. She had really believed that wishy-washy pickpocket was going to take her away, and by that point he figured he didn't have an Ice Wraith's chance in Hammerfell of being with her.

Arnbjorn's regrets began to fester like open wounds. After the thief became involved with her, and when Arnbjorn felt his chances were the weakest, were when things truly plummeted for Astrid. He remembered seeing her face that time in the Ratway, and how bruised and battered Reiner had made it. Part of him wanted to go on a rampage and murder more than just his target that day. He kept telling himself, that if only he'd stepped in sooner, those terrible things wouldn't have happened to her. He wouldn't have let her get beaten bloody just to adhere to some moronic guild rules. He would've torn Reiner's head from his shoulders and Astrid wouldn't have suffered. Of course, he always hesitated, held hostage by his own doubts. His shame - his constant battle with himself - had held him back. In truth, he felt responsible for her agony. By this point, burning down an ugly old farmhouse wasn't much, but it was something. Arnbjorn felt that he owed her that sense of validation, at least.

"Arnbjorn..." her shaky, hushed voice pulled him from his inner-battle. He looked to her, seeing the vulnerability in her expression. Tears glistened in her eyes, though he could tell that she was attempting to remain composed. "I-I can't..." she whispered, her voice wavering more by the second.

"What's wrong?" he replied as softly as he could muster, fearing that he'd somehow screw things up and cause her to become an emotional wreck again.

"I-I can't go in there...I can't look at it anymore. Will you...?" she asked, her tone akin to that of a frightened child. Truthfully, it was unnerving to see Astrid that way. Part of him felt a bit flattered that she allowed him to see her so vulnerable, and yet another side blamed himself for her state in the first place. He had never experienced feeling another person's pain so deeply before, and feeling hers had completely scared the shit out of him.

"Will I light it on fire? Is that what you mean?" he asked gently, as if asking a fragile little girl, which is what she had been that night. It was heartbreaking, and his heart truly broke for her, which was something he damned sure wasn't used to. Of course, he felt it all the same. He simply couldn't help it. Astrid slowly nodded in response, now far too shaken for words.

"Sure." he replied, worriedly glancing back to her terrified expression, before preparing to enter the place where her demons were born.


	39. Chapter 39: Trust

Chapter 39: Trust

The thick scent of mold and stale air hit Arnbjorn's senses as he stepped into the abandoned birthplace of Astrid's nightmares. The echoes of creaking, tired floorboards amidst a veil of haunting silence was an eerie reminder of just how empty and lifeless the farmhouse had become in its current state.

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck and staring at the disarray before him. The old farmhouse had been all but torn apart - more than likely raided by bandits and ruffians who'd noticed its vacant status. Even more so, it was a possibility that Reiner's former business partners had heard of his demise and decided to turn the place upside down looking for his valuables. Either way, the place was a complete wreck.

As Arnbjorn slowly examined the house, searching for any traces of remaining alcohol or lamp oil to possibly start the flame with, he couldn't help but relive those nights of hearing her uncle's tirades and the abuse he'd once inflicted on Astrid. The memories not only brought shame into his heart, but caused his insides to burn with hatred for the man that had treated her so cruelly. Bastard.

Thoroughly pissed by the awful reminders of her suffering and the man that had caused so much of it, his face twisted into a scowl. He grunted to himself in anger, moving on in his search of the catalyst he so badly needed to bring her just a glimmer of relief.

Small moments seemed to drag into ages, with Arnbjorn's irritation and resentment only building with every passing second that he found another empty jug or alchohol container. His inner-rage only stilled when the wind outside began to pick up, causing a gnarly old tree to beat furiously against the farmhouse.

He stood a moment, his icy eyes taking in the somber environment. They grazed across the now broken furniture that was no longer in use, the empty fireplace that had served to warm not a soul, and the walls, which he now ached to demolish with a fire to match his anger. She needed it. No, she _deserved_ it. He wanted nothing more at that moment than to rid the world of Reiner's memory - rid the world of a monster that had devoured her whole. If things could be as he desired, the dust of that bastard's bones would not so much as touch the soil of Nirn.

Another burst of unrelenting wind combined with the drafty nature of the old house caused a nearby door to whine, as Arnbjorn carefully walked up the staircase. The door was in terrible condition, as it was barely hanging on its hinges. He paused, eyeing the damage before slowly entering the room to which it led. Arnbjorn stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widening as he saw Astrid's former possessions strewn about, not spared by the former loot-seekers. A cold chill ran through him, as he stood, gazing back to the broken door, and wondering just who had actually been responsible for such damage. Perhaps it had just been bandits, but Arnbjorn had a sinking feeling that Reiner himself was equally as likely to blame.

He briefly searched her former room, unable to find anything of use. Of course, he couldn't help but notice the vanity in the corner on his way out. He remembered what had caused that broken mirror it held. He tried not to stare or even so much as glance in its direction, but he simply couldn't keep his eyes off of it, for the sheer magnitude of what it had been used for. That night came flooding back to him in an instant - the screams, the smell of fear, sweat, blood, and something he dared not allow himself to think of.

Quickly, he left Astrid's room as if he'd been torched by the very same flame he yearned to burn that prison to the ground with. After searching every possible nook and cranny of the old house, Arnbjorn became completely full of rage, feeling somewhat helpless in his circumstances. Standing in the kitchen, surrounded by a flood of terrible memories and lack of a means to end them, he grew irate, flinging a chair across the room. As he watched the rickety piece of furniture crumble from the force with which it impacted the wall, Arnbjorn found himself regretfully wishing he'd done the same to Reiner.

 _Fine_ , he shrugged. He'd just search outside. He'd already made up his mind that he wouldn't leave this place until he'd burned it into the cursed ground it stood upon.

* * *

Arnbjorn's eyes rested upon a well in the distance. Why not? He'd searched everywhere else in that gods-forsaken vicinity. He grunted in frustration, moving onward, as he glanced back to Astrid's silhouette in the distance. He sighed, noting how frail and frightened she appeared - something that he was both unnerved and deeply saddened by.

He stepped up to the well, examining its pathetic state, when something a bit strange caught his eye. A particularly large bone lay in the grass beside the old well. It was large and covered with deep gashes and bite marks. He could faintly detect a scent emanating from it. It was human. I was _him_.

Immediately, he remembered the rumors and stories told by Dar'Sien just before he'd helped with Astrid's abduction. That stagnant well was the bastard's burial ground. Served him right, Arnbjorn thought to himself.

He slowly picked the bone up, eyeing it with a feral, savage feeling welling up inside of himself. "Rotten sack of shit..." he growled, low and vengeful, before dropping the bone back into the depths where it belonged.

With a distant splash, Reiner's remain fell into the endless black. Arnbjorn gazed into the darkness, feeling a small prickle of satisfaction for discarding a piece of the man like trash.

He sighed, ready to leave, when his hand brushed against some cold, smooth metal. Apparently, lost in his thoughts, he'd completely ignored the small lamp that set on the mouth of the well. His eyes grew just a bit wider with hope, as he examined it.

"Ugh...Thank Sithis..." he breathed a sigh of relief. It held a decent amount of oil - just enough to keep him from having to rub a couple of sticks together all night. He smirked, feeling more than relieved, as he dug a couple of small flint rocks from a pouch on his side.

* * *

Those eyes. Everything Astrid gazed upon brought back those wicked, unforgiving emerald eyes. Every trace of land, every board of that awful house, and every familiar sound gave into a flood of twisted, tormenting memories.

Astrid inhaled the icy night air, hearing the shakiness of her own breath and wondering just how she'd allowed herself to become so weak and broken. She'd murdered Reiner on that very plot of land, which she reasoned should have brought her a bit of strength and power, and yet it did not. She'd even butchered that monster and sent him to his watery grave there. However, even those memories did not calm the horrible, twisted thoughts looming in her mind.

She wasn't even sure that setting the place ablaze would help all that much. Of course, it would wipe Reiner's former living place from existence, and that, she felt, would bring her an inkling of satisfaction if nothing else. More so than that, Arnbjorn was the one wiping it away, and that seemed to be the only thing that brought her the slightest bit of comfort at the moment.

She shivered, holding herself in a useless attempt to protect herself from the icy gale that seemed to blow relentlessly. However chilling the night air had become, Astrid felt that it paled in comparison to the coldness she felt inside herself. Even the dark skies were bright when compared to the endless night within.

The most disturbing and truly maddening part of it all, was that somewhere deep inside of herself, she knew she'd never be the same again. She knew that she wasn't born into this world such a twisted and cruel being, but that through a series of truly unfortunate and unforgivable events, she had become the madness herself. She now thrived in the darkness, moving and shifting about like a shadow cast by a hot flame.

Another hot tear rolled down her cold cheek - another bout of tiresome, exhausting crying to drain her once more. Astrid sniffed, pitifully attempting to wipe the tears away, as she gave in, falling to her knees, wailing and hoping desperately that her suffering would ease. In the most ironic and surreal of moments, with the raging wind beating against her, she found that small, young, innocent girl inside crying out - praying to whoever or whatever was out there, perhaps Sithis himself, for some form of solace. Astrid had never been the type for many prayers - she rather liked to tempt fate instead of make vapid requests. Of course, not even her lust for power or her protective ego could hold back her sobbing pleas.

And at the moment when the night felt the darkest, when the raging gale chilled her to the core, and when terrors invaded her soul to the point of breaking, a tiny, bright spark appeared. More lights and bright, burning embers followed, illuminating the darkness and devouring the monster's lair.

Astrid stood on wobbly legs, her eyes wide with awe and fascination. Brilliant, black clouds of smoke were rising for the heavens to consume - rising away from the plane of Nirn, never to return.

"You alright?" that gravelly, soothing voice broke through her silence. She turned, seeing Arnbjorn at her side, his pale blue eyes and his large form striking, as light from the flames danced across his skin. She reasoned that she must've been completely lost in her own mind, not to have noticed him sooner.

Standing before her was her savior, her protector, and the man who would truly kill for her. He didn't flatter her with pretty lies, he gave no false promises, and he would never harm her. Astrid knew this - it felt as deep and real inside of her as the horrific memories in her mind. It was as real as thousands of swarming moths, as real as pain and suffering, and as real as those ominous, piercing eyes. The difference, however, was that unlike those evil things whirling inside her psyche, Arnbjorn's presence was as bright and brilliant in her life as the flame devouring Reiner's farmhouse. He was the fire she so badly needed - the bright flame in the darkness that would help her survive.

Breathless and lost for words, Astrid simply nodded to his inquiry. However, she found herself unable to tear her eyes away from him. Almost instinctively, she knew the walls she had so solidly built around herself needed to be demolished. She wanted the space between them to close, albeit slowly, so that she could feel his warmth. He wasn't Nona, her father, Delvin, or Reiner. He was safe, he was good, and he was deserving. She wanted his touch - wanted to feel it and to know for herself that he wasn't out to destroy her. Astrid realized that this was the validation she so desperately needed to move forward - to know that the monster was truly gone and that her protector would never allow her to suffer in such a way again.

Astrid inhaled deeply, bracing herself, as she reached out to him, her hand trembling in such a way that it appeared that she was attempting to touch an actual flame, fearing she'd be burnt by it's blaze.

The look in Arnbjorn's eyes was equally as fearful. "Look, you don't have to..." he began, only to grow still as her hand met his chest.

"No..." Astrid spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "I do. I...don't want to be afraid anymore..." she said, feeling his warmth. She stood, her eyes not moving from his own. A strange mix of comfort and uneasiness crept through her veins, but she chose to ingore her fears, and for once, truly move forward. "Thank you...so much..." she began to weep, pulling herself into him, now feeling his protective arms cautiously embrace her as if she were made of fine glass.

It was at that moment, in the burst of wind and flame, dancing and sparkling in the night and painting their embrace with light and warmth, that Astrid began to trust him. The moths had drawn to his flame, being consumed in the heat of his fire, and her soul began to feel a spark of warmth once more.


End file.
